The Morning Briefing: Joe Biden's Toughest Basement Primary Competitor Might Be Joe Biden

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Monday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Brandolph never felt more dapper than when hitting the town in his Rubik’s cube-colored corduroys.

Because I don’t like dwelling on all of the trans stuff, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the 2024 presidential election slog that is already underway. Yeah, I know that spending a lot of time pondering the various 2024 angles is only going to make it seem longer, but — again — the trans stuff is just not my thing.

Speculation is all over the place this early. Will Trump’s lead hold? Is DeSantis too late? Does Joe Biden know he’s running?

For the longest time, I was hoping for a Trump/Biden rematch, so 45 could become 47 and we could get rid of a little of that 2020 hangover. Lately, however, I’ve been thinking that some variety would be nice.

We know that the Democrats have anointed Biden for another go. The assumption is that his handlers are going to keep him hidden and managed as much as possible. There won’t be any primary debates, but I wonder if the puppeteers will really be able to keep him in the basement again. As we see time and time again, Biden’s biggest obstacle when he’s let off-leash is himself.

It’s beyond difficult to believe that Biden can make it to another finish line, let alone serve a full term. The Democrats can sell that fiction to their idiot electorate, but that’s not going to make Old Joe any more coherent. He can still get lost in a crowded room.

By the time he gets to the general election and actually does have to campaign a little, his skills with the teleprompter will no doubt have deteriorated further. Matt wrote about Biden’s latest struggles with that, which happened during the weekend’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner:

But let’s face it, even with a friendly audience, Joe Biden is no comedian, and his attempt at comedy was lackluster, made worse by the fact that his delivery attempts are foiled by his inability to read a teleprompter correctly.

“And Ron DeSantis, I had a lot of Ran DeSantis, Ron DeSantis jokes ready,” Biden began, before making an awkward pause.

“But Bickey — Mickey Mouse beat the hell out of me and got there first,” he quipped. “Now look, can’t be too rough on the guy. After his reelection as governor, he was asked if he … had a mandate. He said ‘hell no, I’m straight. I’m straight.’ I’ll give you time to think that one through… you got it?”

“Ron” is a super difficult name to read and pronounce when your brain is full of pudding.

I genuinely believe that there is a good chance that Biden will knock Biden out of the race. That’s when things would get fun. The Democrats are all in on him because their other options are practically nonexistent. If they have to scramble for a Biden backup, the political theater will be spectacular. From a political junkie standpoint, it will make the time between now and November 2024 fly by.

What kind of desperation play might the Democrats make if Joe Biden wanders offstage for good? Schlichter’s latest column at Townhall explores one possibility that a lot of Republicans worry about:

But there’s another nightmare scenario lurking out there, one that should put a chill down the spine of every American who doesn’t want to see this country collapse into utter chaos and despair. What are the chances that Michelle Obama will come out of her expensive and luxurious retirement to try to take up the banner for the Democrats in 2024? She has certainly sparked a lot of speculation, and a lot of dread, among Republicans. And the Republicans are right to dread her. The kind of Chardonnay–swilling, overly-credentialed, and under-educated, sexually unsatisfied suburban wine women who adore Michelle Obama are going to be a key demographic in 2024, and Michelle owns them lock, stock, and Häagen-Dazs.

This conversation comes up a lot. I don’t worry about it because I truly believe that the Obamas don’t want to have much to do with politics anymore. They want to be showbiz celebrities. The presidency was merely a stepping stone to a Netflix development deal for them. Sure, they’ll show up to complain about Trump and help a Democrat candidate out now and then, but they’d rather be getting their butts kissed at the Oscars and Golden Globes.

Whatever happens, this should be one hot mess of a presidential race on both sides of the aisle. A different kind of hot mess than what we saw in 2020. I’d say it can’t be any worse, but we know that’s not true.

Please consider subscribing to the Morning Briefing here. It’s free, it helps keep me off the streets, AND supports conservative media.

The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

Everything Isn’t Awful

Mondays.. 😂 pic.twitter.com/ax9nQhNnO9

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) May 1, 2023

PJ Media

VodkaPundit. White House Makes a Startling Admission About Biden

Biden CIA Official Met Privately With Epstein Post-Sex Crime Convictions

California Democrats Kill Legislation That Cracks Down on Fentanyl Dealers

NAACP Wants Virginia’s Diversity Chief Fired For Saying ‘DEI is Dead’

Federal Judge Issues Injunction Blocking Enforcement of Illinois Gun Control Law

Tinfoil Haturday: How RFK Jr. Could Save the Republic and Avenge His Father and Uncle

Sunday Thoughts: a Conversation About Apologetics, Part 1

Chuck is kinda slow. Vivek Ramaswamy Schools Chuck Todd on the Evils of Transitioning Children

Irish LGBTQ+++™ Lady Inmate Proves He Shouldn’t Be Housed With Women

Biden Stumbles Trying to Crack Joke About DeSantis at White House Correspondents Dinner

New York State Legislature Scales Back ‘No-Bail’ Law But Will Judges Follow It?

Bipartisan House Votes to End Tariff Protections for Chinese Solar Manufacturers

WATCH: Nikki Haley Predicts Biden Won’t Make It to 86, MSNBC Hacks Melt Down

Kansas Legislature Overrides Governor’s Veto of Transgender Bathroom Bill, and the Left Freaks Out

‘Frightening’: Massie Slams One Million Mistaken FBI Data Searches on Americans

Five Big Favors Biden Has Done for His Commie Sugar Daddies in Beijing

GOP Senate Chances Just Got a Boost

West Coast, Messed Coast™: First, Do No Harm—Special Drug Edition

Huffington Post Celebrates Prospective New Drug That Induces Male Infertility

Townhall Mothership

Schlichter. The Michelle Obama Nightmare Scenario

Report Finds Airlines, Not Weather, to Blame for Cancelled Flights Stranding Thousands

CNN and NYT Calls Trump’s Possible 2024 Re-Election ‘Code Red’

Russian Pilots Tried to ‘Dogfight’ U.S. Jets Over Syria In An Attempt to ‘Provoke’ the U.S. Into War

Fox News poll on guns more confusion than anything

Sudbury Massachusetts wages war on the Second Amendment

New York State moves towards creating a firearms instructor shortage

Man wins lottery using ChatGPT

The Good Shepherd and the wayward sheep: Sunday reflection

Um…Lesbian dating app bans lesbians

Burn it all down. Nearly 700 Professors Protest a Bill Requiring Students to Study the Constitution

Ron Johnson: We Have Evidence Blinken Lied to Congress About Hunter Biden

Ted Cruz Blasts Biden on Debt Ceiling Negotiations, ‘Playing Roulette’ With the Economy

KISS frontman Paul Stanley shares thoughts on transgender trend

Matt Lamb epically trolls the Bidens by getting Tara Reade’s book added to D.C. libraries

Seth Dillon just BLISTERS Chelsea Clinton for coming out in favor of porn for kids

VIP

Become part of the PJ Media VIP party by subscribing here. Use promo code KRUISERMB to receive a 25% discount. Trust me, we’re having fun over here.

[WATCH] Kruiser’s ‘Beyond the Briefing’—Making Corporate Woke Backlash Work for 2024

VodkaPundit, Part Deux. Florida Man Friday: You’ll Facepalm at What He Did with the $5 Million He Stole

The Fringe With Megan Fox, Episode 128: I’m Back! Catching up on Bud Controversy, Trans Hilarity, and Crowder Divorce Scandal

A Church Leader Walks Into a Drag Show (and There’s No Punch Line)

What if Hunter Biden Takes a Plea Deal?

Forming an Anti-Establishment Coalition

Climate Scam: Trump Warns EV Push Only Helps China, Harms U.S.

SCOTUS Leaker Put Conservative Justices in Virtual Prison — and Alito Thinks He Knows Who it Is

The Model T of the 21st Century?

Black Pill Moment: What If There’s No Saving Conservatism From Itself?