The Morning Briefing: Seriously, Cirque du Harris-Walz Is Going to Make Me Miss Biden

Top O' the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The Sine Qua Non Sequitur wraps up massage camp today with a hands-on final exam and a tequila/limbo competition.

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On Wednesday, Athena wrote a post titled "Where's Joe?" In it, she explores the fact that the current president of the United States has almost blinked out of existence since he was ushered off of the Democratic ticket last month. This line summed things up pretty succinctly:

And now that the Potemkin candidacy is over and there's no reason to keep up the show, it appears that Team Biden has given up altogether on pretending that he is doing the job.

The members of the commie cabal, led by DOCTOR Mama Jill Biden, who has been subbing for Joe's brain, also seem to have given up on their jobs. The coup that gave their puppet the bum's rush seems to have crushed them. When it all went down on July 21, I really thought the knowledge that their time was now limited would get them working overtime to enact the unfulfilled parts of their agenda.

Perhaps Her Imperial FLOTUSness is having an extended "We are not amused" fit and will return to ruining the country once she snaps out of it. Assume the worst. Hell hath no fury like an entitled female Democrat who feels disrespected by the peasants.

This weirdest of all election years went into the Twilight Zone on July 21 when someone with access to the president's X account informed everyone that Joe Biden wanted Kamala Harris to eventually get his job. It was an ignoble end for a guy the Democrats desperately wanted to send out on a high note, whether he deserved it or not.

Now we're getting a glimpse of what the alternatives to Joe Biden look like, and it's like dropping acid and having a bout of dysentery at the same time while you're in a carnival house of mirrors. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are each an unnerving mix of dangerous, anti-freedom politics and the kind of personality that you'd expect to find in a murder cult.

My friend Stephen Green wrote a fantastic column yesterday about what an inauthentic nutcase Tim Walz is:

In short, they needed a Democrat version of the GOP vice presidential nominee, Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio). What they got was Bizarro JD Vance.
Bizarro was the cracked-mirror image of Superman. While they both had more or less the same superpowers and wore similar costumes, that's where the similarities ended. Superman was highly intelligent; Bizarro was a moron. Superman was good-looking; Bizarro had something of a Frankenstein's creature look. Superman never lied; everything Bizarro said was wrong. Superman lives on Earth; Bizarro lives on a block-shaped bizarro-Earth.

We don't want Bizarro JD Vance to get any more power than he already has.

I stand by what I wrote in yesterday's Briefing and believe that Walz was the weakest pick that Harris could have made for the second spot on the ticket. However, his freakshow qualities compound those of Madame Veep, and pondering the worst-case scenario for November is enough to keep me awake until then.

As we have discussed many times — especially in the last couple of weeks — getting rid of one loathsome Democrat more often than not leads to an even more loathsome replacement. While Harris hasn't officially replaced Biden yet, the ick factor from the saccharine media frenzy surrounding her makes it feel as if she's already flexing her collectivist muscles.

In a world that placed any kind of premium on sanity, Kamala Harris and Tim Walz wouldn't even be given the keys to an old car. We don't live in that world, sadly, and these head cases are knocking on the door of the political pinnacle of power in the United States of America.

If I can get my hands on a time machine, forget killing baby Hitler. I'm going back to earlier this year and making sure that Joe Biden doesn't debate Donald Trump until it's too late for the Democrats to get rid of him.

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Everything Isn't Awful

Friday #YOLO.

hamsters are wild pic.twitter.com/GHgMEP7YE7
— Nature is Amazing ☘️ (@AMAZlNGNATURE) August 8, 2024

SFK of the Day

Today in 'Circling the Wagons Wackiness' — WaPo Gushes About Kamala's Cackle

"We're in the midst of rapid onset Kamala love that's reminiscent of women on social media who spend years publicly lamenting their bad luck with men then flood their timelines with hyperbolic proclamations of a man being "THE ONE!" if they go on a couple of Tinder dates with a guy who knows how to button a shirt."

Shot of Vodka

Trump Just Said Out Loud What Everybody in Washington Is Afraid To

"Biden had insisted for months that he would run for a second term, and his party accommodated him, too, shutting off debate and effectively rigging the primary process. If the Biden we saw during his one disastrous debate against Trump in June had shown up for even just one debate against a rival like Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Biden would never have been the 2024 nominee."

Bee Me

Taylor Swift Jet Launches Retaliatory Strike On ISIS Stronghold https://t.co/xkoPD9ecig pic.twitter.com/zzOjnZqC4Q
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 8, 2024

Bee More

‘WHO NEEDS A TAMPON??’ Bellows Tim Walz Kicking In Middle School Boys' Bathroom Stall Door https://t.co/C74YkeyFQY pic.twitter.com/qXKGUrJKCT
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 8, 2024

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Harbingers of the Resurrection https://t.co/5LFO3QP0Bw pic.twitter.com/baGMUR9pMV
— Nikolai Ge (@artistnikolaige) August 8, 2024

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

I've probably watched each of these 50 times since I first became aware of them last year. Kate McKinnon is a comedic treasure. Ryan Gosling losing it is priceless, especially in the second clip. (LANGUAGE WARNING for both.)