Tim Walz Is Bizarro JD Vance

What the Democrats needed was a Heartland of America guy, someone folksy and grounded to balance Kinda Acting President Kamala Harris's "California Glib" demeanor. He'd have to be from the Midwest or Appalachia, of course, and ideally a hunter.  

He should have a moderate record, or at least one the press could go along with making it look moderate. And I keep writing "he" because the Democrats weren't going to run an all-woman ticket, assuming they could define "woman." And he couldn't be Jewish. Harris couldn't afford to even let an opener anywhere near that can of worms.

In short, they needed a Democrat version of the GOP vice presidential nominee, Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio). What they got was Bizarro JD Vance.

Bizarro was the cracked-mirror image of Superman. While they both had more or less the same superpowers and wore similar costumes, that's where the similarities ended. Superman was highly intelligent; Bizarro was a moron. Superman was good-looking; Bizarro had something of a Frankenstein's creature look. Superman never lied; everything Bizarro said was wrong. Superman lives on Earth; Bizarro lives on a block-shaped bizarro-Earth. 

Etc.

So let's see how Vance compares to Bizarro Vance.

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Valor/Stolen Valor

Vance enlisted with the Marines straight out of high school during some of the heaviest fighting of the Iraq War. His Public Affairs unit was ordered to Iraq in 2005 and he has admitted that he was "lucky to escape any real fighting."

Bizarro Vance enlisted in the Army National Guard at 17 and served honorably for 24 years right up until he didn't. When his artillery unit was ordered to Iraq (also in 2005), Walz quit — leaving his combat-bound unit without its senior NCO. That's a huge no-no. Making things worse, Walz has lied for years ago having served in combat.

Guns/Lies About Guns

Vance grew up with guns, having learned to shoot (and all about range safety) from his grandmother.

"Democrat arguments for gun control rest on a series of falsehoods," he wrote in a Columbus Dispatch op-ed last month. As a senator, he worked against the Democrats' 2022 gun control effort. "I think the red flag laws, in particular, they certainly are a slippery slope. They also don’t solve the problem of gun violence," he said at the time.

"I spent 25 years in the Army, and I hunt. I’ve been voting for commonsense legislation that protects the Second Amendment, but we can do background checks," Bizarro Walz said in a campaign video this week. "We can research the impacts of gun violence. We can make sure those weapons of war that I carried in war are only carried in war." Bizarro Vance never carried anything in any war, but he sure seems to have become another cog in the Democrat gun control machine.

Folksiness/That Is So Not Folksy

Vance first gained public attention with his heartfelt memoir, "Hillbilly Elegy," which dealt with issues like growing up dirt poor, dependency, and alcoholism. Despite a law degree from Yale, he still looks and sounds like a normal person.

Bizarro Vance ordered Minnesota schools to put tampon dispensers in the boys' bathrooms, along with embracing pretty much every other part of the Woke agenda.

Etc.

My friend Stephen Kruiser wrote today that the GOP ought to send Harris a thank-you card for her veep selection, but you have to wonder if she even knows what a bizarro choice she made.