The Morning Briefing: Reports of the Dems' Return to Relevance Are Greatly Exaggerated

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Happy Wednesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Celebron dreamt nightly of one day owning an ironic taco truck in the Lesser Antilles.

I greatly appreciate my friends Chris Queen and Kevin Downey Jr. doing a fantastic job of pinch-hitting for me on short notice while I was dealing with some heavy family stuff.

Because of the circumstances, my weekly scheduled two-day news coma lasted for four days. As I began meandering through the Tuesday news cycle, I was relieved that the world's madness needle hadn't significantly moved whilst I was away. Yeah, it's still crazy, I'm just glad we haven't moved significantly towards "craziest" since last week.

I should note that the headline is obviously a trick. Only Democrats think that they're on their way back. I'll know right away if someone in the comments has only read the headline before rushing to make what he or she thinks is a brilliant point.

I am not including the Democrats in that "we," by the way. They've flown over the cuckoo's nest and don't appear to have any intention of returning. As they struggle for relevance, they keep finding new rabbit holes of insanity to explore. A few more of these ideas have been floating around recently that should be locked in a padded cell.

Let's start with this one that Matt covered:

Just when you think the Democratic Party couldn't get more desperate or delusional, it manages to outdo itself. The latest scheme? Creating a "shadow cabinet" to challenge President Donald Trump's agenda. And if that wasn't absurd enough, wait until you hear who Democrats want to put in charge.
In fact, Michigan Sen. Elissa Slotkin pitched this laughable concept to Politico, suggesting that ranking committee members could lead this pretend government.
I’m not even kidding. Politico loved the idea, but not the part about using ranking committee members.
“Ranking members have their uses,” Politico observes. “They’re good at reclaiming their time and making motions to recommit. But they are not the fresh faces who can give the Democratic Party a sleek new look.”

First, bear in mind that Slotkin — who was just elected last year — has publicly criticized her party for being a little too out there.

Where Politico takes this is so ridiculous, it's like reading an old copy of Mad Magazine. The Who's Who of leftist whackos in its fever dream for this shadow cabinet is chuckle-worthy. Bill Nye the Fake Science Guy is on it. The Democrats' media mouthpieces are even less serious people than the party leaders are.

My good friend and partner in thought crime Stephen Green wrote a column that outlines a couple more of the Dems' flailing approaches, including the one where they want to learn how to reconnect with American males:

These guys are going to spend $20 million trying to convince men to rejoin a party whose unofficial anthem is "Lola" — Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls / It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world — but don't be shocked. This is, after all, the same party that last fall praised Gov. Jazz Hands for his "stereotypically masculine traits."

They're serious about these kinds of things. Here's something I saw on X that adds a little perspective:

Dems:

“Working out is right wing”

“Liking hot girls is right wing”

“Eating red meat is right wing”

Dems today:

“We need $20 million to understand why young men hate us” pic.twitter.com/qI7rZLMoqa
— John Hasson (@SonofHas) May 25, 2025

"Hello, young American men. We would very much like to connect with you in young manly ways."

Mr. Green then does a deeper dive into the recent rejection of the Dems by once-reliable constituencies like the working class and minority voters, and the party's vision for how to win them back. In what should come as no surprise to anyone who pays attention to the Democrats' ways of operating, the plan involves buying the affection of the voters they've lost.

American leftists respond to every problem by trying to spend like drunk Kennedy cousins. They're gushing fonts of ideas for ways to spend other people's money.

Everything old is new again for the party of "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."

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