The Morning Briefing: Add Mitch McConnell to List of Beltway Elders Who Shouldn't Be at Work

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Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Wendrym felt ever the natty gadabout whenever his ascot was just so for ginger beer night.


These things are getting uncomfortable to write about but write about them we must.

A number of this nation’s highest-ranking leaders are a smidge past their primes. Worse yet, almost none of the elders of the village are aging well. We live in amazing times, when humans can live longer quality lives than we have ever been able to before. It would not appear, however, that our political elites have been doing the things they need to do in order to be as robust as possible in their 80s.

We’ve been witnessing the uncomfortable decline of the President of the United States for a couple of years now. Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been slurring her way through speeches for at least five years. Dianne Feinstein took an extended break from the Senate for shingles but returned looking like she’d had a stroke. A few of them maybe. All of these people are still “working.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has had a rough year already, having fallen down and gotten a concussion back in March. There are rumors that that wasn’t his only fall this year.

Things got worse for McConnell yesterday, which Gwendolyn wrote about:

GOP Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) appeared to have a medical episode on Wednesday afternoon that caused him to freeze while in mid-speech during a televised press conference. Watch as the eighty-one-year-old U.S. senator glitches while giving his opening remarks:


The video is uncomfortable to watch, but everyone should see it.

McConnell was in full “Biden Slur” mode when he began speaking. Even if he hadn’t had his episode, I would have been wondering what was wrong with him. As with every public appearance of Biden’s these days, the people close to McConnell shouldn’t have let it happen. He had no business being far from his bedroom in that condition, let alone in front of television cameras.

Gwen’s post examines the aging United States Senate. At 81, McConnell doesn’t even crack the top five. Not all octogenarians are created equal. Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa will be 90 in September and, by all accounts, he’s as sharp as ever.

I’m not a big fan of term limits for a few reasons, but I think that a mandatory retirement age might be worth considering. Gwen also mentions that we should be demanding to see the health records of our elderly leaders who are obviously not well. Ben reports that McConnell soon got back to reporters and joked about what happened. If you’ve watched the video, there was nothing to joke about, and I’m a guy who defaults to humor in difficult situations. Watching McConnell’s bout of catatonia was nothing but disturbing.

It’s time for the functional adults in the room to publicly admit that some of the older adults in the room are most definitely not all right. If they don’t, they’re going to start pretending people into their graves.


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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

We’ll do one today. This is from Brian:

Hello Mr Kruiser,

I believe Biden’s cure for cancer is the same as his cure for our border. Expect a cancer surge.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Mittens Romney fought with a democrat once in a while? I guess he doesn’t want to fight with his own kind. 

I appreciated the Stripes video you shared a couple of weeks back. I believe John Candy was a thief who stole every scene he was in (obviously) in Stripes and Splash. 

Thanks for the briefings,

Thanks for reading, Brian!

As this is the second time that Sir Sniffsalot has cured cancer, I have complete faith in his ability to do it again if there is a surge.

John Candy stole scenes in every movie he was in. The long scene he had in “National Lampoon’s Vacation” comes to mind. He was absolutely brilliant in everything that he did. Candy never mailed in a performance. It’s tough to wrap my head around the fact that he’s been gone almost 30 years.

Everything Isn’t Awful

There’s never a bad time to watch a bunch of ducks waddling.


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