Top O’ the Briefing
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Chip tried to live a life free from regret, but the tattoo of a rutabaga under his left armpit reminded him that even he could plunge into darkness.
The climate alarmists have gotten so many things wrong in the last 50 years that they’d have no credibility in a sane world. Alas, we do not live in a sane world and these crazies are better funded and have more power than ever before.
The Biden administration is slavishly devoted to the Climate Church message, forcing the green agenda into every area of policy. It’s an even higher priority than making first-graders take field trips to drag shows. It’s full speed ahead with the assault on carbon, whether the world is ready for it or not.
Or whether the technology is ready for it or not.
Athena wrote a post earlier in the week about one effort to go green that isn’t working out well at all:
E-bike lithium-ion batteries have already ignited 25 fires within New York City limits this year, killing at least two and injuring 36. According to officials, that was quadruple the number of fires sparked by these batteries over the same timeframe last year.
In the climate-cult vision, the future of transportation is electric. The battery technology—whether for bikes or cars—isn’t where they want it to be yet, but that’s not preventing leftists from mandating transitions to their all-electric fever dream.
The vehicles that burn fossil fuels aren’t the only enemies of the climate state. This is from something Lincoln wrote yesterday:
As part of an English assignment, teacher Kim Cutler purchased bugs approved for human consumption from a website and gave them to her students. It was part of an assignment on–what else? Climate change. The premise was that cows, which produce methane, are depleting the ozone layer and should be replaced with ze bugs.
Your tax dollars at work! They’re indoctrinating kids to eat bugs rather than burgers to save the planet. And it’s an English assignment. Yeah, the Department of Education has got to go.
It is something that the climate lefties are now admitting that the methane gas from cow flatulence plays a part in ozone depletion. Not too many years ago, they were saying that the cow flatulence theory was a right-wing conspiracy to deflect from all of the havoc that humans were wreaking.
The bugs-for-dinner thing is part of the climate cult’s overall devolution blueprint for humanity. I attended the 2010 United Nations Climate Change Conference in Cancún, Mexico. I’d been sent there by Americans for Prosperity (Koch Brothers money!) to document and mock the proceedings.
The big expo showcasing “solutions” for saving the planet was, put mildly, insane. It wasn’t a vision of the future, but of the past. Dirt floors. Toilets that were little more than camping latrines. Hand-washing clothes. You can see how easy it is to get from that to having bug stroganoff for dinner.
The real threat to humanity is the stupidity of these people. Again, they’ve been wrong about virtually everything. Their solutions to problems, real and imagined, never fix anything. The only thing they’ve succeeded in is bleeding the American taxpayer dry and frightening a generation of young people so much with their lies that some are being treated in therapy for climate anxiety.
The only upside to this is that many of the younger climate cultists don’t want to breed because they’re convinced that we’re doomed, so a voluntary culling of the herd is underway.
We’ve got to take the wins where we can find them.
VIP Spotlight
I highly encourage our VIP friends who haven’t been availing themselves of my lighter fare to do so. Trust me, letting me entertain you in lieu of downing copious amounts of hard liquor will save your liver as we enter the eternal presidential election slog. One of the fun things about hanging around comedians is that we are not shy about sharing and mocking our worst moments. Last weekend was a slovenly, ridiculous affair for me, and I explore it in my latest video, “Kruiser’s ‘Beyond the Briefing’—Welcome to My Seven Deadly Sins Amusement Park.” As always, if you’d like to see what the madness is all about, you can subscribe here and receive a 25% discount when you use the promo code KRUISERMB. There is no drink minimum or dress code on the other side.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
The Mailbag of Magnificence
Let’s dive right in with this from Bill in Chicago:
Stephen,
Lately, Old “Rock” songs are playing in my head as things in this country go down the toilet. Some titles:
“Life During Wartime” and “Burnin’ Down the House” – Talking Heads
“Goon Squad” – Elvis Costello
“Clampdown” and “I Fought the Law” – the Clash
“Time is Running Out” – Steve Winwood
“What’s this Life For” and “One” – Creed
I’m a “Boomer”; I stopped listening to rock or contemporary music back in the ‘90’s. The only contemporary band to whom I listen are the “Dropkick Murphys”
Now you’ve got me thinking, Bill. I may just make a Spotify playlist of “U.S. in the Toilet” songs. The current state of affairs has me listening to Merle Haggard’s I Think I’ll Just Stay Here and Drink on a loop.
My fellow Arizonan Marni writes:
Hello Mr Kruiser,
Am I the only one surprised to find out that the White House uses real chicken eggs rather than candy-stuffed plastic eggs, which would be infinitely more appealing than a bland ball of hard-boiled protein for intrepid young egg hunters at its annual Easter Egg Hunt (cf. Rick Morgan’s piece “PETA urges Biden to use fake eggs at annual White House Easter Egg Hunt”)?
l like the candy eggs idea a lot. There are few things in life that are more entertaining than getting other people’s kids hopped up on sugar.
Vivian sent a lengthy, interesting email (I’ll try to answer it!) and I just wanted to share her opening line:
Thank you for supporting our Governor, he is a one-man wrecking crew and us Floridians enjoy watching a true Conservative at work.
I hear a lot of this from the people I know in Florida, Vivian. In fact, I know of some who don’t want DeSantis to run for president because they don’t want to lose him before his second term is up.
Momster offers this:
I must disagree with the poster who said that a mind capable of the Fabio reference was wasted on politics.
I believe that such a mind is PERFECT for politics! What other mind could possibly wrap itself around the US government honoring Women’s Month by honoring a “woman” who is really a dude? I guess there are just not enough actual women deserving of such an honor. But I could be wrong.
I think what you’re saying is that it takes a lunatic to understand the lunatics. I don’t disagree with you. Rest assured that I will always be the right’s lunatic.
Wednesday’s “Sine Qua Non Sequitur” inspired Maurice to do this:
Ran “life size statue of Charles Nelson Riley made out of Crisco” on openai’s image generator:
Absolutely priceless. Thank you for that, Maurice. The world is a better place now that this homage to CNR is in it.
And thanks to everyone who wrote in this week!
Everything Isn’t Awful
Mobile observation platform.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/yePtTToW0l
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) March 16, 2023
PJ Media
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New Poll Shows What Voters Think About Trump and the 2020 Election
The Biden Family Influence-Peddling Scandal Just Got Much, Much Worse
The Economy Is Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place With Nowhere Good to Go
And common sense. San Fran Bans Natural Gas Furnaces, Water Heaters
Late Night Host Asks Kamala to Explain Her Job… and She Fails Miserably
BLM Shakedown Raked In Billions; This Group Tracked the $$$
Always Believe the Woman? Stanford Employee Arrested for Lying About Rapes
Democrats Deserve Plenty of Blame for the Bank Crisis
Shattering the UN’s Many Lies about ‘Islamophobia’
New Student-Led ‘Red Guard’ Installed in Maine School District Causes Fury at Board Meeting
Here’s Why the Unanimous Shurtleff Decision Is Even More Important than 6-3 Dobbs
Classy: Fake Girl Defeats, Mocks Real Girls at Track Meet
Vacationers Are Falling Out of Love With Woke Disney Parks
Utah Teacher Has Kids Eat Bugs Because Cows Are Destroying the Environment
Lyin’ Joe Biden Says MAGA Republicans Want to Defund the Police
Gavin Newsom’s ‘Shady Ties’ With Failed Silicon Valley Bank Reveals His Other ‘Corruption’
Dems Are Livid at Biden for Approving Alaska Oil Drilling Project
Democrats Boycott Border Control Hearing After Accusing Republicans of Using It to Attack Biden
LOL: Fauci Claims GOP Attacking Him Because of His Honesty
The Avignon Presidency, or the American Schism
Suck up. Yes, She Really Did: Kamala Harris Says Joe Biden Is an ‘Extraordinary Leader’
Townhall Mothership
Here’s Who’s Currently Leading in a Trump vs. DeSantis Primary
Sweet. DeSantis Unveils 19 State Alliance to Fight Biden’s ‘Woke’ ESG Agenda
#Evergreen. Kamala Harris Has No Clue What She’s Doing
Border Patrol Chief Says He Disagrees With Biden Not Building Wall
Critics take issue with Biden’s gun control efforts
Cam&Co. Congressional Republicans aim at Biden’s pistol brace rule
Gun dealers react to Biden executive order
HOLD ON THERE: Yellen says not ALL deposits at ALL banks are “insured”
Dutch farmers on tractors gain political traction in shocking election victories
That’ll work out well. NY PERMANENTLY lowers math and reading standards
Jonathan Haidt on why the mental health of liberal girls sank first and fastest
Rand Paul Storms out of Committee Meeting After Dems Play Dirty With Firefighters’ Jobs
Democrats Turn Backs on Israel as Plurality, Now Sympathize With Palestine
NY AG Letitia James to Host Drag Story Hour, Libs of TikTok Responds With Event of Their Own
The Atlantic presents the strongest evidence yet that COVID-19 came from a wild animal
School curriculum promotes puberty blockers to fourth-graders
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[WATCH] Kruiser’s ‘Beyond the Briefing’—Welcome to My Seven Deadly Sins Amusement Park
Trump Needed to ‘Lose’ the 2020 Election So We Could See the Rot Our Nation Is Suffering
Study: ‘Body-Positive’ Social Media Propaganda WORSENS Women’s Body Image
Majority of Democrats Believe Life Will Never Return to Pre-COVID Normal
Dutch Farmer Revolt Against EU Green Craziness Blows Up the Nation’s Politics
Lunatic Social Justice Warrior Claims ‘Trans Women’s Menstrual Cycles’ Are Real
We Must Support Those Who Bravely Stand Up to the Trans Cult
Around the Interwebz
‘The Big Lebowski’: The Dude Bowls Back Into Theaters For 25th Anniversary
‘SpaceEngine’ Is Your Ticket to Exploring the Universe
I’m in a documentary about him. A Mouthful: When ‘The Morton Downey Jr. Show’ Ruled the Airwaves
Bee Me
Stephen Colbert Finally Gets Someone To Laugh At His Showhttps://t.co/9P1Iq4XE8s
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 17, 2023
The Kruiser Kabana
Kabana Gallery
Road to Louveciennes #danishart #pissarro https://t.co/697d7u5DQj pic.twitter.com/AtQjmfbOuU
— Camille Pissarro (@artpissarro) March 17, 2023
Kabana Tunes
On the rare occasions when I set an alarm, this is the song I wake up to.
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