The Morning Briefing: Karine Jean-Pierre's Last Brain Cell Has Left the Building

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Lenora knew that if she ever did find herself in trouble with the law it would be because somebody used the word “artisanal” around her one too many times.


White House Spokesditz Karine Jean-Pierre is really bad at her job. I know that’s not exactly a big reveal, but I believe it needs to be said more often.

When the 2020 Democratic primary field began assembling in 2019, the leftists in the mainstream media never failed to note that the field was young and diverse. At the end of the slog, the party of youth and diversity had two elderly white dudes to choose from, and one of them wasn’t even a Democrat. Bernie Sanders had played the interloper card again and helped vanquish those whacky diverse kids.

Hell hath no ridiculousness like a 21st century Democrat trying to expiate white guilt.

The Dems have been trying to deflect from the fact that they enthusiastically went for the whiter than white grandpa in 2020. You best be checking off some HISTORIC FIRST diversity boxes if you’re submitting a résumé to Team Biden.

Jean-Pierre’s claim to fame is that she checked off not one, but two HISTORIC FIRST boxes when it came to the press secretary gig. She is the first black person and first openly gay person to hold the job. The Democrat rules of political combat say that those two things mean that we’re not supposed to criticize her.

Too bad. Jean-Pierre is simply too awful to ignore.

President LOLEightyonemillion has a bit of a mess on his hands with Docugate, and KJP did not handle being questioned about it well at all. Ben wrote about it yesterday:

At around 54:45, following about the tenth non-answer from Jean-Pierre, one reporter very tepidly pushed back, reminding her of her boss’s pledge to transparency back in 2021: “One of the reasons we ask this is because on, like, day two of this administration, when he swore all of you in, the President said, quote, ‘I’m going to make mistakes. When I make them, I’ll acknowledge them and I’ll tell you, and I’ll need your help to help me correct them.’”

A visibly perturbed Jean-Pierre didn’t appreciate this mild pushback, and replied, “Ed — Ed — Ed, I am — we don’t need — we don’t need to have this. We work very well together… You don’t need to be contentious with me here, Ed.”

Being contentious with government propagandists is literally the intended function of a free press.


That’s a level of snippiness that Jean-Pierre usually reserves for the Fox News Channel’s Peter Doocy. She is obviously not handling the shock of having one of her leftist cheerleaders from another outlet press her for some coherence.

Jean-Pierre is always ill-prepared and says so many stupid things every week that we could probably task a writer with just covering her. She’s good at finding new ways to be bad, like her penchant for mangling easy to pronounce words, which Matt wrote about last week. She’s being paid to speak on behalf of the administration, and she can’t pronounce “Nobel Prize” correctly.

It’s almost impressive that they found a spokesperson who’s nearly as incoherent as the always-incoherent buffoon at the top. If she and Biden meet one on one, they must have to bring code breakers in from the intelligence community to transcribe what was said.

Thanks to those two HISTORIC FIRSTS, Jean-Pierre has plenty of job security. She could light the briefing room on fire and anyone who suggested that she lose her job would be called a racist and a homophobe.

She’ll just keep getting angrier and angrier that people are asking her questions.

Even though it’s her job to answer questions.

Please consider subscribing to the Morning Briefing here. It’s free and it helps keep me off the streets.

The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

Let’s hop right in with this from Sheila:

Hey Stephen!

You’re in the big leagues now. I subscribe to HG Tudor on YouTube who discusses narcissm and he read your recent article about Harry and Meghan, who Tudor only ever refers to as “Harry’s Wife”.


Anyway, I smiled to hear it again. I almost emailed you after reading the article that morning to tell you that I had transposed some letters in your statement that you could believe Meghan was actually feeding Harry his lines. I read ‘…feeding Harry his illness’ which actually is what I think is also happening but that’s for another therapy session that Harry will hopefully one day seek out.

Thanks for all you do!

I’m not sure who HG Tudor is, but I will check it out. My ego and I love being quoted. And I think I may have a new calling as a celebrity columnist. I can hardly wait until I can experience my first red carpet.

Here is Paul’s response to a recent Sine Qua Non Sequitur:

Good morning Mr. Kruiser.

I’ve never been a fan of Motorhead, but I still love the idea of an a capella tribute band. So much so that, well, I want in. I don’t sing very well, but then neither did Lemmy, so I think it will work out fine. Please forward my interest to Maclean at your earliest convenience.

One way or another, Paul, we’re going to make my imaginary friends from the second line real. I’ve passed along your information to Maclean.

Randy writes:

Dear Mr. Kruiser,

Your quip about the FAA being run on a Commodore 64 had me laughing hard.  It flashed me back to my first computer circa 1989, which was an Amiga 500.  The idea of the FAA being powered by an ancient computer was a fantastic visual.  Keep up the good work!

Thanks, Randy. That line got Stephen Green and me reminiscing about our first floppy drive computers on yesterday’s Five O’Clock Somewhere. I wouldn’t be surprised to find some of them still kicking around in the bowels of some government building.


David enjoyed the Commodore 64 reference as well:

Dear Kruizer,

As many have said the morning briefing is a daily ritual of sanity for me. 
Today’s had the line of the week though.

“Condolences to anyone who had their day ruined yesterday when the Federal Aviation Administration’s Commodore 64 bought the proverbial farm.”

I’ll admit I almost fell out of my office chair at that one. My first PC was an IBM PC-1 (No HDD and minimal memory but far more advanced apparently than the FAA’s system.)

I have for years been an advocate for privatizing the K-12 Education system. I’m glad to see that Republicans are finally waking up and realizing that we can’t allow the continued radical indoctrination of our children.

I really do hope the Republicans start focusing on school choice again. It was really gaining momentum around 10-12 years ago but then fell by the wayside. It hasn’t been abandoned by the right, but I don’t think school choice gets nearly the attention that it should.

We’ll finish with this from Andy:

Kruiser, Thinking of opening an upscale restaurant featuring breakfast items. “Great Eggspectations”! Pricey, yes! You in?

Let’s partner up! I can’t wait until we sell our first $150 omelet.

Thanks for all of your emails and please keep them coming. I’ve grown rather attached to the Mailbag.

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