Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. More people die from pretzels than the government is telling us.
Phew. Alleged President LOL Eightyonemillion reassured the nation yesterday that there is no reason to panic about the ZOMG OMICRON variant here in the U.S. just yet. He’s probably told Fauci to wait until just before Christmas to sound that alarm.
A grateful nation is always comforted when the president butchers the reading of a short speech. They really should have him do more of those.
One thing that we can be certain of going forward is that the COVID-inspired tyrants among us will follow the same tired script they wrote last year, getting everything wrong but insisting that their way is the only way. We’ve already seen it starting with New York’s new governor, which we discussed here yesterday.
Here in the real world, that script of theirs is once again proving to be pure fiction. Governor Ron “Blood On His Hands” DeSantis and the great state of Florida are blowing the vax/mask Nazi narrative out of the water.
Florida currently has the lowest number of COVID-19 cases per capita in the United States.
The Sunshine State reported a daily average of 1,393 cases as of Friday, which is only six per 100,000, and a 2% decrease in the last two weeks.
Gov. Ron DeSantis has been slammed by partisan media critics since the pandemic began due to his opposition to government-imposed mask and vaccine mandates. Yet facts favor his decisions.
A buffoon named Chris King, who finished fifth in the 2018 Florida Democratic gubernatorial primary and is laughably running again in 2022, accused DeSantis of going on a “killing spree” for opposing mask mandates. Earlier this fall, the far-left rag Vanity Fair chose a huge “angel of death” headline to describe the successful governor.
You read that correctly, sports fans: Florida has the lowest per capita infection rate, and it is happening in a state where the governor has decided to let the citizens live like free Americans.
Contrast that with my current situation. I’m in Michigan, where Governor Gretchen Whitmer has kept the mandates and the panic flowing since early last year. I’ve been here for a week and most people are still wearing masks. Kevin Downey Jr. and I had six gigs scheduled here over the next couple of weeks and he texted me Monday to tell me that one of them had been canceled due to a COVID outbreak.
In fact, just yesterday, Michigan hit a new record number of COVID hospitalizations and is second in the nation for the number of cases, averaging over 5000 a day, as opposed to the 1393 average in Florida.
If Florida had numbers like that, DeSantis would be subjected to daily media character assassination attempts, as well as calls for his resignation.
Nary a negative peep is uttered or disparaging word written about Whitmer, who is easily one of the five worst governors in America.
COVID tyranny isn’t keeping anyone healthy or saving any lives. What a marvelous world we would live in if the Democrats and their flying monkeys in the mainstream media would stop lying about this.
I’d also be really happy if it would stop snowing here.
Everything Isn’t Awful
College basketball player Dexter Dennis won a game – then was seen in the stands, helping staff clean up the stadium. No one asked him to do that. pic.twitter.com/p14SIL27Ai
— CBS News (@CBSNews) November 19, 2021
Around the Interwebz
Smells Like Onion
— The Onion (@TheOnion) November 29, 2021
The Kruiser Kabana
— THE MONTMARTE (@themontmarte) November 29, 2021