The Morning Briefing: Talarico's 'Resident Alien' Campaign Keeps Getting Weirder

Top O' the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Leyrkcembrasz couldn't shake the feeling that bay leaves were a practical joke played by intergalactic visitors that long-ago lost interest in Earth folk.

Just as we did yesterday, we're going to spend some time mocking someone who practically begs to be made fun of. We have a duty to snark about the lunatic left whenever an opportunity presents itself.

Resident Alien is a recent dark comedy hit that was broadcast on the SYFY network, and then Netflix. Alan Tudyk plays an extraterrestrial being whose spaceship crash lands in Colorado on a mission to kill everyone on Earth. The alien then murders one of the locals (Sound familiar?) and assumes his identity. The victim was a physician who'd rented a remote cabin and was living alone whilst working out some personal stuff.

As scriptwriting fate would have it, the local small town's doctor exited this mortal coil under dubious circumstances, and fake alien Dr. ET is pressed into service. Classic "fish out of water" hijinks ensue, often in twisted ways. The alien looks the part but is never very comfortable in any situation or his own new skin.

It didn't occur to me until Wednesday night that I have been getting a Resident Alien vibe from Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico for a while now.

I wrote last week that I was worried that all of the conservative media attention being given to Abdul El-Sayed might be providing cover for Talarico's embarrassment of a campaign. Somebody in his camp must have been paying attention to me, because they came up with yet another weird photo-op that was intended to make Talarico look like a real grown-up Texas boy.

This is from my Townhall colleague Amy Curtis:

In case you needed more proof that James Talarico is radical and out of touch with Texans, we present to you this video of Talarico visiting a Cracker Barrel. He not only looks out of place, he also acts like this restaurant — which has 55 locations in Texas — is the wilds of Africa. Cracker Barrel serves roughly 230 million people every year, this isn't some groundbreaking trip.

Here's the video that Amy shared:

OMG, look at how out of place that weirdo James Talarico looks like at a Cracker Barrel restaurant!

This is cringe on steroids! pic.twitter.com/OVZfegrvO3
— Vince Langman (@LangmanVince) September 2, 2026

Excuse me, is there a vegan chicken fried steak option?

When the campaign has to constantly come up with new ideas to make the candidate look normal and relatable, the candidate is not normal and relatable.

This isn't something that's peculiar to James Talarico and his handlers. The Democrats have a long history of trying to repackage candidates. Those of us from the 1900s remember the Michael Dukakis tank incident. During the 1988 presidential contest between Dukakis and Vice President George H. W. Bush, the Dems were desperate to make the Massachusetts governor look tougher. The photo-op of Dukakis wearing a goofy helmet while riding around in a tank looked more like a "Bring your 4th-grader to work day" thing and destroyed what small chance he may have had in the election.

In the 2016 presidential contest, Hillary Clinton's people tried out over 60 different catch phrases and slogans in an attempt to make her seem less Hillary-like. It was frequently written that her handlers wanted voters to really get to know her. At that point Granny Maojackets had been in the public eye for almost a quarter century. She'd been the First Lady, a United States Senator, and the United States Secretary of State. The problem wasn't that the electorate needed to get to know her better, it was that we knew her too well.

James Talarico is a native Texan who often seems as if he is visiting the state for the first time. He makes Beto O'Rourke look like Sam Freakin' Houston. It's obvious that his campaign knows they need to Texan him up a lot, but looking like he thinks that Cracker Barrel is a place he needs a passport to travel to isn't going to accomplish that.

I really hope that all of the John Cornyn supporters overcome their disappointment and rally behind Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton. If they join forces with those who supported Paxton in the primary, that should do the trick. When Paxton wins, they should all celebrate at a Cracker Barrel.

Here's the trailer for the first season of Resident Alien. (Mild language warning.) Oh, as far as I know, James Talarico has no plans to destroy the human race. He just wants to ruin Texas.

More and less of me. Vanity kept me from making "Beyond the Briefing" videos for a while. After losing some weight, I'm back, and there will be a lot more of these going forward. One of the greatest reasons to be a VIP subscriber is that it's almost like having a ring cam in my house. Here's the return episode: Kruiser's 'BTB' — Where Do I Redeem My White Privilege Points?

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The Mailbag of Magnificence

Steve G. will get things going today:

Mr. Kruiser- Yes, Canada's economy is tiny compared with ours. But the disparity is somewhat similar to Russia and Ukraine, and Ukraine is not doing too badly at the moment. Of course, Ukraine is getting help from a lot of friends. I wonder who would help Canada, besides maybe China.

Honestly, I think this is a bit "apples and oranges" for me, especially given the huge role that the United States has played in helping Ukraine. I do agree that China knows there's an opportunity with Canada, though.

Briefing stalwart Jerome writes:

Hey Kruiser, Your MB discussing Canada got me thinking about what Canada has ever brought to the table that we should really care about. So far, I came up with SCTV and possibly Dudley Do-Right (cartoon version only). After that, I’m kinda stumped. And even with SCTV, most of the cast members have been living primarily in the US for a long time. And it’s an honor to have reached the stalwart level.

The SCTV show and troupe would certainly be Canada's greatest export for me. For those of us who were adolescents or young men during the heyday of Playboy Magazine, I would add Canadian beauties Pamela Anderson and the late Dorothy Stratten to the list.

Here are a couple of emails regarding "Chet," the first one from Keith C:

Hey Kruiser, In response to Michael E. from yesterday's mailbag, Chet was the name of Kurt Schlichter's unicorn. I think he just got the two of you confused. That is all,

And this one from Robert G:

Kruiser, Quick note before I head off to work; I think your last correspondent today is confusing you with Kurt Schlichter, who occasionally mentions his "pet unicorn, Chet". Personally I'd be complimented, if not flattered, to be conflated with one of my favorite Colonels, but YMMV. Have a great day!

Obviously, there are people out there who are unaware of how many times I've crashed at Schlichter's house because he and I did so much damage to his wine collection. Perhaps I need to book a trip so we can refresh people's memories by not remembering what happened the night before.

And yes, Michael was confused.

This is from Rick:

Good closing video! In fact, Senator John Blutarsky would be an incredible upgrade from the losers we currently have in the Senate!

Blutarsky would have been a brilliant Republican Senate Majority Leader.

Mike M. writes:

Hello Kruiser, I gotta say, the MB about Mark Carney “laying down” the law on our patriotic memers was classic. Loved the eagle vs. maple leaf comparison. How can anybody take this guy seriously? Patriots like us wonder, did his father never take him to the wood shed? Or in Kier Starmer’s case, did his mummy never tell him the sticks and stones rhyme? I think even Pete Buttigieg might know better than to demand that red-blooded Americans stop mocking him, or else… You are so right, sometimes the news can be a lot of fun!

I'm waiting for Carney to lead off a press conference with, "I know you are, but what am I?!?"

Rodney P. will help us wrap things up today:

Mr. Kruiser, Recent regular reader here. I sure enjoyed today's MB. When describing Canadian PM Mark Carney's wounded feelz you said, "Shade has been thrown, and delicate derrières have been chafed." Very thankful I wasn't drinking my morning coffee mid-slurp or I would have had a big mess to clean. Thank you for a dose of laughter induced endorphins to start the day!

Welcome, Rodney, and thanks for deciding to become a regular. As I've mentioned before, I greatly appreciate spit-takes and near spit-takes. They're a sign that I'm still dedicated to my craft.

Thanks to all who made the Mailbox such a hopping place today!

Everything Isn't Awful

Babies of all species are born with grumpy old people faces.

This is a Highland cow baby. They can usually stand up and start walking shortly after they’re born pic.twitter.com/y3Rmp83899
— Nature Unedited (@NatureUnedited) August 29, 2026

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

In the springtime #artbots #sarian pic.twitter.com/Tbqxtd4kPQ
— Martiros Sarian (@artistsarian) September 2, 2026

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

DYING.

POTUS Press Today

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
09/02/26

DAILY GUIDANCE AND PRESS SCHEDULE FOR
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2026

In-Town Pool
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8:00 AM THE PRESIDENT participates in Executive Time
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11:00 AM THE PRESIDENT receives his Intelligence Briefing
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12:30 PM THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
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3:00 PM THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
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5:00 PM THE PRESIDENT participates in Signing Time
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1:00 PM Press Briefing by the Vice President of the United States JD Vance
James S. Brady Press Briefing Room
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