The Morning Briefing: Dear Dems—Trump 2024 Is Gonna Be Super LIT

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Wednesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Albert’s efforts to convert his cravat closet into a hamster run kept meeting with resistance from Mrs. Tutwiler in 3C.

There certainly has been a lot to parse since Garland’s Folly was unleashed on Mar-a-Lago on Monday night. As Robert writes, this is an unprecedented level of acrimony between American political rivals who, in theory, are all serving the same country.

Mitch coined the term “Mar-a-Lagogate,” and notes that this should be a crippling scandal for Team Biden.

In a perfect world, anyway.

Matt points out how this will backfire on the Democrats and I’m going to add to that.

All of this is being driven by the Democrats’ obsession with using the J6 fauxsurrection to keep Trump off of the ballot in 2024. They know that they could resurrect FDR and Trump is still going to waltz back into the White House. He’s the monster under all of their beds. As I’ve written before, he’s not only living rent-free in their heads, he’s building condos and inviting his friends.

Had they not been working out daddy issues since Jan. 20, 2021, there is a chance that Trump might have opted to enjoy more golf and play Republican kingmaker. Let us not forget that he enjoys sticking it to establishment “Harumph!” Republicans as much as he does to Democrats.

All that these idiot Democrats have done with their extended fascist tantrum is guarantee that Trump wants to come back and give them a righteous butt-whupping. Every single thing that they do to weaken him makes him stronger, constantly renewing his energy to build more of those condos.

It’s cloudy now but that’s one heck of a silver lining.

The Mailbag of Magnificence

Well, I had quite the response to yesterday’s request for emails. I may have to do a bonus round on Thursday.

Let’s begin with a gem from my friend Susan:

Waaaaaaahhhh, I have nothing to share today because nobody emailed me to tell me how much they love me. Geez, who do you think you are? God’s gift to journalism? I mean, you do have an amazing way with words and so I read the Morning Briefing everyday, but do I have to suck up to you also?

Yes, we have lives, which is why we aren’t sitting at the computer fawning all over you every minute of the day. Isn’t it enough that we join you on Thursdays for 5:00 Somewhere and listen to your podcasts? What more can we do?

Susan and I first met in a holding cell after an unfortunate incident with whipped cream at a Tijuana donkey show. We immediately hit it off because being on “Locked Up Abroad” was a bucket list thing for both of us. I now buy all of my essential oils from her.

William writes:

Mr. Kruiser

I used to read Liz Sheld religiously when she did the Morning Briefing and I followed her to AG. Yet, I have been reading you from the first day.

She now rarely posts anything original and does mostly links.

You (You, you, you…), along with the links, provide content and are funny more times than not. I like the art, music, and comedy videos too even though I don’t always agree with you.

Sparingly, you even give glimpses into your personal life, which is why I can say (and have said) you are a good father.

I think the main attraction of your daily column is you. To readers, you seem like the guy who would have a beer with you and maybe even buy one back. I don’t think I’ve missed more than a few of your posts since you replaced Sheld and I plan to keep it that way.

There are only a few columns I strive to never miss. Leading the pack is your Morning Briefing and Friday’s Thoughts from Ammo Girrrll at Powerline (My apologies, but I know Susan and she is my favorite ex-comedian.).

Thank you, William! I’ve always been a fan of Liz’s work and was very honored when they asked me to take over for her. I’ve also had many beers with me and can confirm that I’m fun to hang out with. And it’s OK that Susan is your favorite ex-comedian, because I’m still at it, just not as much as I should be at the moment. I want to die on stage. A long time from now.

From Randall:

Stephen,

Congrats on the 3 year anniversary of the Morning Briefing. I will admit, I was a big fan of the previous Morning Briefing, and I was a bit hesitant about the transition from the previous author to you. And I freely admit my fears were unfounded. Your column is an essential part of my day. If I had one nit to pick, it is that there is no weekend edition. But two days of forced exile are but a small price to pay. Love the openings, too…..don’t lose those!

Thank you, I wasn’t sure that anyone even noticed the mention of the anniversary on Monday! Honestly, I was a bit hesitant about the transition too. I greatly appreciate your patience.

Josh writes:

Hi Stephen,

I love your first paragraph. My only request would be for you to work the word “closet” into one of them at some point.

I hope the GOP can reign in some of this craziness. I just get worried that once they have the house and hopefully the senate they will go back to playing defense. It seems President Trump has helped them find some spine at least. If only we could have enough of a majority to make it veto proof; I’m not sure we can achieve that, but it would be nice.

Keep up the great work!

A happy reader,

I think we all have a lot of trepidation about a new GOP majority being a bunch of simpering milquetoast wussburgers. If they go full Romney on us we all better start learning Mandarin on Rosetta Stone.

And this from Larry:

Wondering if Geraldo Rivera will be called in to reveal the contents of Trump’s safe?

Ha! My best friend said the same thing to me!

We’ll wrap up with this from Les:

First: I love your column and am a daily reader. Thanks

Second: I was curious why the FBI hit when President Trump was absent. Then it hit me, if President Trump had been present we would have been presented with the interesting scenario of the FBI negotiating with the Secret Service detail for access. THAT is a clown show that I would have enjoyed watching.

I hadn’t thought of that! Trump is still the most successful reality television celebrity in American broadcast history so that truly would have been spectacular.

Thank you to everyone who wrote. Again, I hope to soon be able to answer some emails privately too. Please keep ’em coming! [email protected]

Everything Isn’t Awful

After getting hit in the head with a pitch, this little leaguer showed a true act of sportsmanship by comforting the pitcher 🥲 pic.twitter.com/AbzXaLL5uz

— ESPN (@espn) August 9, 2022

Smells Like Onion

Toddler Scientists Finally Determine Number Of Peas That Fit Into Ear Canal https://t.co/zCOI7I7HQp pic.twitter.com/NF7Htflp0V

— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 9, 2022

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Mood.

The Horseman of the Apocalypse, 1970 #dali #expressionism https://t.co/OwFPBv98lQ pic.twitter.com/t9tHwe2H3v

— Salvador Dali (@artist_dali) August 9, 2022