Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Radzwina knew that her disdain for artisanal mac and cheese enthusiasts could be both petty and justified.
The original plan was to write about former Vice President Mike Pence this morning, but I found myself getting very sleepy as soon as I typed the words, “Mike Pence.” I’m sure that we will get around to him in the near future, or further news about him may just cure my sleep woes once and for all.
My good friend and colleague Stephen Green had kicked the week of with one of his patented VodkaPundit headlines: “Hillary Clinton Wants to Save Me from Loneliness, and Honestly I’d Just Rather Die of It.” I hadn’t read anything about Hillary for a while, so I figured, what the heck, it was time to catch up on what America’s biggest individual consumer of breakfast Franzia was up to.
Granny Maojackets has — in my opinion — never been the picture of emotional health and stability. I thought that long before Donald Trump became the man who saved a grateful nation from her presidency and subsequently took up permanent residence as the monster under her bed. She’s more drunkenly weird now than ever.
From Stephen’s column:
Lonely people are more prone to anxiety, obesity, and other mental and physical health issues. It’s even a national security concern, as the military struggles to recruit from a population of young people that’s increasingly undereducated and overweight.
And guess who has the cure? That’s right, it’s everybody’s favorite hundred-million-dollar nanny: Hillary Clinton. She’s going to save Muh Democracy™, too!
The question plaguing Clinton is “how our democracy became so susceptible to a would-be strongman and demagogue” like Donald Trump.
It’s pathologically bizarre how the sufferers of the Democrat fever dream can find a way to blame everything on a one-term president. One can easily imagine Hillary up in Chappaqua, rocking back and forth in one of her patchwork muumuus as she drains another box of wine and muttering, “He’s always here,” over and over.
Whenever I bump into anyone who is pondering just how deep the political/ideological divide in the United States of America is, I point out the fact that there are still millions of people in this country who think that Hillary Clinton is a woman to be admired. In their minds, she’s had many great accomplishments in her life. In reality, she made it to where she is by riding her husband’s coattails. She made a deal with the devil after he was besmirching everything in the Oval Office that was besmirchable whilst romping with an intern. She’d stay with him, and he’d give her a career.
Well, Rudy Giuliani had to get cancer first. I’ve always wondered about that one.
Anyway, the poor dear is not well. More from VodkaPundit:
Technically, though, it won’t be Clinton that saves us from the Orange Man Bad and his weaponized loneliness. Instead — and maybe you’re way ahead of me already — it’s going to “take a village.” You know, the same village that’s raising pubescent girls to think that they need to take male hormones and undergo double mastectomies.
Clinton — and the projection on display here boggles everything from your mind down to your toes — blames “Trump and other right-wing leaders [who] politicized the pandemic and turned public health into a wedge issue” for our current troubles. The shark from “Jaws” couldn’t swallow that line without choking.
Those of us who are not concussed remember that it was the Democrats who “politicized the pandemic” and used it to make election integrity drop the soap in the prison shower so they could put a puppet in the White House.
Hillary Clinton’s unceasing battles for relevance continue to plague the country. She’s like a political ghost who is unsettled in the “everyone has moved on” afterlife and wants to haunt us all with lunatic ravings about Donald Trump until we say, “OK Grams, we SEE you. Now please God have an Altoid.”
Once again, big props to President Trump for keeping this woman away from the launch codes.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
The Mailbag of Magnificence
We will begin with a couple of complaints first, then finish on a positive note.
This is from Milt:
Everything isn’t Awful used to be a fun collection of all kinds of weird and unusual stuff.
It was fun.
Now it’s just one thing of a dog and/or cat doing what all dogs and cats do.
It’s awful.
There’s a reason for the shift. A few of the accounts I was getting stories from popped up during COVID and tended to wind down after 2021. One of the ones that didn’t began doing “Rah-rah” posts about climate change issues, which doesn’t really play well to the readership here. After a while, it just wasn’t worth the time to check it for non-political content.
I also have gotten a lot of positive feed about the animal stuff, which I why I stuck with it. It’s easy to find and is a much-needed timesaver. Also, “awful?” Really? Most people find me to be somewhat cranky and curmudgeonly, and I even I don’t get overwhelmed by negativity by having to scroll by a cute cat video. Thank you for reading though!
“Private Citizen” wrote this and, honestly, I had to sit on it for a few days before responding:
Mr. Kruiser,
I am on board with your general position on everything, but comments about people like Rodelio — whom I presume does not exist — do nothing to further the discussion in my view.
I would be more inclined to read your missives if such pointless comments were eliminated.
They do no real harm, but they tend to dissuade me from reading further.
Just one man’s opinion.
Sorry to be the first to tell you this, PC, but you’re really in the minority here. This is probably only the second or third complaint I’ve received about the Sine Qua Non-Sequitur to date. I would say that at least half of the email I get is from people who tell me how much they enjoy it. In fact, not only is the segment popular, but it’s also being turned into a compilation book.
Now, for a word about the SQNS and “Everything Isn’t Awful.” My reason for doing those is — and always has been — this: In these contentious times, the news is more often than not a grating slog to get through. I know, I pay attention to it all day for 5 1/2 days a week. This, despite my quirky touch, is still a newsletter. Believe me, we’ll get to the heavy stuff in short order. I like to start on a very light note with the SQNS, offer up “Everything Isn’t Awful” as a palate cleanser before readers plunge into the links, then get out of here humor, art, then more humor or music. I’m bookending the news with things that won’t make you want to mix your codeine and whiskey, dear readers. Well, not for breakfast anyway.
I know, I’m history’s greatest monster.
“Everything Isn’t Awful” fan Chris writes:
Stephen,
Re Friday’s vid of the cat doing crunches – candidate caption:
Puss-Ups
You’re welcome!
Have a great weekend!
Well played indeed, Chris. Wish I’d thought of that, and your ghost-writing résumé is now on file.
We will finish with this from Ken and Donna, and I promise I’ll answer more emails before the week is over:
Stephen:
My wife and I read your column Every Day as we have our morning coffee.
We have been following this routine for years, even when we are on the road, traveling To Tucson numerous times each year.
You are always On Target with your Surface to Air Spin Missiles!
Thank You for being a part of our Family every day!
High praise! Thank you for honoring me by letting me “hang out” with you on weekday mornings! It’s good to know I’m not chasing everybody off with cute puppy vids.
Thanks, as always, to everyone who wrote in. Someday we’ll do this around a campfire.
Everything Isn’t Awful
I warned you.. 😂 pic.twitter.com/SFiQXXoLRw
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) August 7, 2023
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— Oskar Kokoschka (@artistkokoschka) March 29, 2023
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