The Morning Briefing: Republicans Better Not Wuss Out If They Win Big in November

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Many admired Clarissa’s optimistic attitude about the eventual worth of her VHS collection of Richard Simmons workouts.

We will hopefully be transitioning out of the United States of America’s East Berlin phase when the Republicans take back the House and maybe even the Senate in November. There’s been some worry that the Republicans would find a way to blow the election. Lately, however, there has been a lot of chatter about how they might blow it even if they win.

This week’s Biden Stasi antics are not going to go well for the Democrats. They’re practically weaponizing Trump at this point. As Kevin wrote yesterday, his fundraising has been off the charts since Monday. Our Townhall colleague Sarah Arnold writes that Trump’s support among Republicans has gone up several ticks this week as well.

But Trump is a three-year project, this country needs some saving now. Even if the GOP steamrolls in November, they won’t come to power until January. That gives Uncle Joe (Stalin reference most definitely intended) and his fascist freak show a lot of time to keep smashing the Constitution with a wrecking ball.

If the Republicans get some power back we’re going to need more than a lot of dog-and-pony show hearings. And we definitely won’t need any “above the fray” garbage. If there are hearings, there had better be results. Democrats in orange jumpsuits kinds of results. Every Republican in Washington needs to Google how to say “scorched earth” in as many languages as possible.

The country will well and truly be lost if the GOP waltzes back to power and begins to behave the way it did the last time it had majorities. It’s time for some bare-knuckle, only-one-winner-emerges brawling.

No more Mr. Nice Republican.

The Mailbag of Magnificence

Let’s kick off the Friday mailbag fun with this from Jim in Texas:

Stephen,

Your opening line – “The unshaved koala rarely whistles at midnight.” definitely sounds like a recognition phrase that would be used in a cheesy spy movie. The reply would have to be something like, “The virginal pangolin loves to sing light opera.” Either way, it’s a HOOT!

Yup, I’m a regular reader – indeed if I can’t find TMB in the links, I pull up the PJ Media home page and go looking for it! Good stuff!!!

Jim, I saw Virginal Pangolin open for Tool in ’18.

Charles writes:

Stephen

I greatly appreciate the opening jokes and links in the Morning Briefing. But your biggest impact for me was introducing Craig Ferguson on the Late Late show. I’ve now devoured EVERYTHING I can find of Craig’s work on YouTube.

thanks!

It’s a journey we are taking together, Charles. I didn’t get to watch the show much when it originally aired because I was on the road a lot then. I’m seeing most of the clips for the first time. I sometimes worry that he and Conan will be the last of the fun late-night hosts. I want fluff entertainment at that hour, not some knee-jerk leftist lecturing.

And Geoff was one of the greatest things ever to happen to television.

Kevin wrote a long and very entertaining email and here’s about half of it:

Stephen,

I’m so very happy that I found The Morning Briefing! The magnificence streaming from the tips of your fingers as they dance across your keyboard has changed my life and transformed me into a true 21st Century Renaissance Man!

Your Morning Briefing is an all-encompassing tutorial that educates, informs, entertains and enlightens, therefore it is the first and most important portal that I visit every weekday morning. Saturday and Sunday only leave me thirsting for more, but Monday comes soon enough!

The way you weave your tome each day is masterful; an inspiring greeting (Happy [insert day of week] dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends). So personal, so intimate and yet… not at all homoerotic.

Then you immediately jump start my two brain cells by stringing together a series of nouns, pronouns, verbs and adjectives with a couple of prepositions and the occasional dangling participle thrown in for good measure. Words that the English language never intended to coexist in the same paragraph, let alone a single sentence. And viola! My mind has begun to churn. The appetizer consumed, I’m now ready for the main course.

This is where you get real (and today’s reality can be jarring). However, you incorporate your unique brand of levity (#TeamLevity) and even the most distressing news becomes somewhat palatable.

After impressing the heaviness of the day upon my brain you then quickly transition to a video or story to prove that Everything Isn’t Awful. A good news palate cleanser giving hope that if you can find a silver lining, then by gosh I can keep a smile on my face too!

Thank you! The world is a cesspool and I want to keep people up-to-date in a way that doesn’t make them want to run for the fentanyl and bargain vodka. And thanks for your email, it was a lot of fun to read.

Thank you to everyone who jumped in for the fun this week. It was a nice mix. Nothing is off the table, get as weird as you want! Remember, [email protected] is your portal to a little bit of my madness.

Have a great weekend!

Everything Isn’t Awful

“Come on mom, play with us” 😅 pic.twitter.com/L7KjVsUbSk

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) August 10, 2022

Reduct This

How to Be Less of a Pushover and More Like Those Men Who Throw Fish at Fish Markets: https://t.co/ZG6xmgJLGh pic.twitter.com/qxSRc1x25A

— Reductress (@Reductress) August 11, 2022