The Morning Briefing: On Cue, Biden Gets the COVID Pre-Election Panic Ball Rolling

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Even the hardest of hearts were moved by Garrett’s touching interpretation of “No Diggity” on the accordion.

The buzz around conservative circles for weeks has been about just when and how the Democrats would start ramping up the COVID panic porn in order to lay the groundwork for a sequel to 2020’s election “irregularities.”

Who knew that the guy at the top would kick things into high gear?

In this era of casual conspiracy theories, it’s not difficult to imagine that the Democrats have been doing everything but making Biden lick doorknobs and kiss hobos to get some pre-election Bat Flu.

“If it can get to the President of the United States, it can get to anyone. THE SKY IS MOST DEFINITELY FALLING!!!”

Former White House Spokesditz Jen Psaki admitted that the White House has been planning on the Big Guy getting the ‘rona for a while now.

Planning? Or plotting?

The Democrats will no doubt find a way to convince the low-info types that the fact that President LOLEightyonemillion got COVID despite being vaxxed and boosted to the gills is the reason that we all need more vaxxing, boosting, and hysterical whatnot.

Dems aren’t big on logic and their base can’t even spell the word.

They’re hoping that COVID can once again be the shiny object that distracts voters from what they’re actually peddling. The odds that it will work again aren’t that good.

But, bless their rotten little hearts, they’re gonna keep trying.

The Mailbag of Magnificence

Last week was a fun start to this segment. We have a full one so let’s jump right into this week’s mailbag (all are presented with unedited punctuation).

Andy writes:

Having never been polled on any subject including Brandon, I was just wondering who gets contacted. Could it be my “eau de Walmart”!

Andy, in all of my years as the proud owner of a telephone number with my name on it I’ve only been called twice by pollsters. I practically bathe in Eau de Walmart so hang in there, they’ll bother you too one day.

Susan gets me and knows what I like to read:

I am STUNNED that the opening paragraphs seem to always GREATLY resemble and describe my ex-husband(s). Notice I said EX!!!

You ALWAYS make me laugh (or snort, as the case is on occasion!). In our currently pitiful world, that laughter is GOOOOD medicine!

Thank you for giving me the best part and start to my day!!! Youre the BESTEST EVER!!!

I do it ALL for you, Susan. Thank you, and your schmuck exes for providing me with so much material!

Paul offers this assessment of my assessments:

Discussing how the Republicans can blow the election is important. But your ideas on how not to do that are problematic.
Codifying same-sex marriage is not a turnoff to most reasonable people. Nor is the sensible gun “control” measure the Republicans supported.
It is NOT okay to be against everything Dems want – even though they do it to us. A party that deserves to lead does what is best for the Country – it doesn’t just act against everything the other side wants.
Republicans CAN blow this election if THEY press the social issues. Moderation is what Americans want. Not crazy Leftists or Rightists.

Thank you for respectfully disagreeing with me. Now here’s why you’re wrong: there is nothing even approximating “moderation” with the 2022 Democratic party. They are radical progressives who have an endgame that seeks to destroy the United States. It’s not only OK to be opposed to everything they want, it’s imperative.

This is from Nick:

OK, you asked for it, so here goes …

[rant]

Have you ever noticed that leftists can’t laugh at themselves?

BINGO! I remember watching an interview with Dennis Miller in the ’90s. He hadn’t come all the way over to the right yet but his transition was underway. He was asked what the biggest difference was between Republicans and Democrats when it came to humor. He replied (paraphrasing here but I’m close), “Republicans can laugh at themselves.”

We will wrap up this week with this absolute gem from Jack F. Keep reading, you’ll get it.

I was just offered a job, and this job that I was just offered, is the job of offering myself as the speechwriter for Kamala Harris, whose job is the VP. Now this job that I was offered, the job that I really desire, offers to Ms. Harris, who offered me the job and whose job it is to offer to the public her wisdom, an opportunity to offer real change. I’m going to take the job of speechwriter offered to me because the job offer is very exciting. It’s gonna be a real hard job that I was offered but I can do the job offered to the VP’s satisfaction. She needs me!

Bravo.

Thanks to all who wrote me this past week and please keep those emails coming. I’ll tackle almost any topic that you want (asparagus gets a hard pass though). Hit me up at [email protected] and let’s keep this party going.

Have a great weekend, everyone!