The Morning Briefing: In Theory, Someone Will Eventually Be Kamala Harris's Running Mate

Top O' the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Aeeywaald felt that perfecting his immersion blender frothing technique would be what finally separated him from the other Merry Mixmasters Jubilee participants.

The Democrats are in what is no doubt a very weird place right now. On the surface, they're at least pretending to be bubbly and enthusiastic about the OH SO AWESOME sudden anointing of Vice President Kamala Harris as their nominee. They're selling it, too. The Dems are quite adept at operating in a purely fictional environment, after all. These are the same people who just spent three-and-a-half years pretending that Joe Biden had a functioning brain. They've got mad acting skills.

Behind the scenes, however, they must be in a dead freakout about the fact that Kamala will still be Kamala, and there is only so much they can spin that babbling train wreck.

Potential running mates haven't exactly been breaking down the doors to get in line and curry Madame Veep's favor. Most have been fleeing for the exits, preferring to keep their eyes on future prizes.

The list of potential running mates for Harris that quickly began popping up in the mainstream media was almost certainly curated by the Democratic National Committee — they're not dumb enough to leave things up to her. As I said in an episode of "Beyond the Briefing" last week, it's quite the collection of White guys. The Dems can only stray so far from their roots.

The B Team White Dude list is suffering from attrition now.

Rick reported over the weekend that Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro was accused of covering up sexual harassment in his office, which pretty much took him out of the running.

One of the other White dudes in the running was Sen. Mark Kelly (did you know he was an astronaut?) from here in Arizona. Matt writes that his shot at the Number Two spot has now lost a lot of its luster:

But now the dirt is coming out about another top contender, Sen. Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.). It turns out that he "co-founded a company that specializes in spy balloons, which was funded, in part, by a venture capitalist in China with close ties to the Chinese Communist Party," according to a report from Fox News.

I had been joking that if Harris chose Kelly, I might vote for her just to get him out of Arizona.

I've been saying for months that the DNC isn't the well-oiled machine that it used to be. Kelly being in bed with a Chinese moneyman wouldn't have gotten past them back in the day. Sure, it could be argued that they don't care about ties to China, which may be true. This is another case where they have to pretend, though.

A Harris-Kelly ticket would be a gun-grabbing nightmare. Good riddance (it would seem) to the possibility.

The man many people think was at the top of the Harris/DNC running mate wish list — North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper — has exited the chat. This is from my friend and Townhall colleague Matt Vespa:

Democratic North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper is out of the 2024 veepstakes. He withdrew his name from consideration today, though we don’t know why. Mr. Cooper and Vice President Kamala Harris go back to their days as prosecuting attorneys. The Tar Heel State is one that the Harris camp is targeting now that the Democratic Party ticket has flipped due to Joe Biden’s withdrawal on July 21. While Democratic enthusiasm has improved and fundraising is now kicking on all cylinders, Harris isn’t polling much better against Donald Trump.

Cooper was the oldest of the Kamala Harris Caucasian Chaperone Clique, and the one who would have lent most of the gravitas there is to lend to the ticket.

At this point, the DNC may order a few Democrats to draw straws to see who gets to take the hit and tag along with Harris until November. Or, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear may win through attrition. The Democrats believe his presence on the ticket might help win over some swing votes in flyover country.

Good luck with that.

The eventual choice for Harris's running mate won't offer much in the way of making her seem more credible. The Dems and their flying monkeys in the mainstream media are going to have to continue to create a new Kamala Harris out of whole cloth, which they've been working feverishly at since President LOLEightyonemillion ~~was forced out in a palace coup~~ stepped aside.

She's gonna be Barbie by the time they're done with her.

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