For you youngsters, it used to be that when people went to ballparks, they would encounter beer vendors walking up and down the stands yelling, "Ice cold beer here!" For the record, you could buy cigars at stadiums and even smoke them during the games. The beer was cold, the brats were greasy, cigar smoke filled the air, and peanut shells were constantly underfoot.
It was a great time to be alive.
If you were a boy too young to drink in the '70s, you probably had a beer can collection. Just about every boy did, and I had a pretty decent assortment until my mother decided enough was enough and sent all my cans out with the garbage one day. Beer cans were pretty easy to collect since your dad, grandpa, uncles, and adult male friends were all too happy to drink more beer to help you expand your collection. It was a win-win.
The crown jewel of my collection was a cone top. Cone tops were prized because of their scarcity, antiquity, and shape. They had a cone on the top (hence the name) that ended in a bottle opening. My one cone top was a rust-covered, barely distinguishable tetanus bomb of which I was exceedingly proud.
If there are any beer can collectors out there, a new offering has hit the market, which should accent your display nicely. You may remember Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer. That company stepped up when what's-his-name became the spokesperson for that one beer nobody drinks anymore. The company has a new product: Conservative Dad's "FIGHT." The can features a black-and-white photo of the wounded Donald Trump rising triumphantly from the platform in Pennsylvania, his fist high in the air. The company released a commercial on X featuring the voice of Sylvester Stallone (or perhaps an impersonator) in his role as Rocky Balboa:
Yep, we're about to break the internet.
— Ultra Right Beer (@ultrarightbeer) July 24, 2024
Get it here >>https://t.co/mqKckJ0WkU pic.twitter.com/X8428LQtYZ
Fox Business reported that in a press release, Ultra Right founder Seth Weathers commented, “On July 13th, Americans saw a leader who was defiant in the face of evil. When President Trump pumped his fist and chanted, ‘fight, fight, fight,' all patriotic Americans were filled with pride. I knew then we had to create this special can." He also predicted: "Conservative Dad’s FIGHT will become the most collectible beer can in history. Our previous limited edition Trump mugshot can became the most collected beer can of 2023 and is being resold for hundreds of dollars per 6-pack on eBay. This will be even bigger.”
At $25 for a sixer, the price may seem a little steep. But you're paying for more than a can of suds. Part of the sales goes toward supporting conservative causes. It will also be a great conversation starter at your next barbecue or family get-together—particularly if you hand a refreshing, frosty-cold can to your green-haired cousin who is parched from shouting, "Free, free Palestine!" all day, rearranging his pronouns and hanging up the latest incarnation of the Progress-Pride flag, which, incidentally, can be seen here. Or, you will likely be ready for a beer after a day of trying to live peaceably with such people.
And if nothing else, the can will look really cool in your collection, provided your mom didn't throw it out in 1979.
Pro tip: Open the can from the bottom and drain the beer into the mug. Beer cans are worth more with the tops intact.
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