The Morning Briefing: Jamaal Bowman Doesn't Have the Greatest Defense or Defenders

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Renzelio felt a connection to anyone who preferred various sweetbreads to the mundane meats of the masses.

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Honestly, I hadn’t planned on doing anything with this Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-N.Y.) fire extinguisher story when I first read about it, but he keeps getting more desperate and weirder about it so, hey, why not mock a Democrat who is essentially begging to be mocked?

We could all use a break from the Kevin McCarthy/Matt Gaetz lovers’ quarrel anyway. Maybe Dr. Phil should have a go at that one.

After the John Fetterman freakshow we’ve been subjected to for the past year, I really didn’t think that there was anyone on the Dems’ side who could step up with a “Hold my beer,” moment. Kudos to Rep. Bowman for finding a way to make Fetterman look relatively normal.

Bowman’s confusion and panic excuse is yet another one of those Democrat false narratives that, if presented to a 4th-grade class, would be laughed out of the room. The dumbest kid in that class knows what a fire alarm looks like and that it doesn’t magically open doors. The kid would either pity Bowman or call him a liar.

Over at RedState, my colleague Nick Arama has a post featuring a video made by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) that shows the standard weekend procedure from Bowman’s panic point. Notorious MTG points out that everyone in the House knows what to do when those doors are locked.

America’s Dumbest Bartender Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tried to spin Bowman’s childish excuse on CNN over the weekend, which Nick also wrote about. Squeaky didn’t have much to offer beyond some whining about Republicans rushing to judgment before there was a full investigation or something. Even infamous Dem sympathizer Jake Tapper was rolling his eyes at that one.

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Matt has my favorite story in the Bowman saga so far. Bowman must have realized that having AOC and her brain cell run interference for him wasn’t going to be enough, and his office sent out talking points to other Dems to use in his defense. The star of the list was this laugher:

There are nine suggested talking points for his Democrat colleagues to use with the media, including the following beauty, “I believe Congressman Bowman when he says this was an accident. Republicans need to instead focus their energy on the Nazi members of their party before anything else.”

If the internet were scratch-and-sniff, you would be overwhelmed by the smell of flop sweat from that statement. Nothing says, “I’m completely full of it,” like lashing out with a random Nazi accusation. Rep. Bowman and his people have obviously never heard the adage, “If you’re in a hole, stop digging.”

Look, one thing that can’t be ruled out is that Jamaal Bowman is just really dumb. That’s never off the table for me when trying to explain the behavior of congressional Democrats. Sometimes when they break away from the paste-eating collective and are on their own for a few minutes they get disoriented. Democrats know that the media will cover for them, but Bowman’s excuse was so pathetic that even the hackiest MSMers are having a hard time carrying the water for him.

Or, as a New York Democrat, Bowman feels entitled and above the law.

I wonder what William of Occam would have to say about that.

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