The Morning Briefing: The Woke Left Lunatics Have Come for Willy Wonka

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Happy Monday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Dryden spent most of his free time attempting to convince itinerant paperback vendors that sandalwood is the most suspicious of all the fragrances.

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After emerging from my regularly scheduled weekend news hiatus, a story grabbed my attention that reminded me why I’m relentless in combatting and condemning woke culture. Before we get into the specifics, I’d like to reiterate my main misgivings with these mentally unwell freaks.

As a professional entertainer and writer who abhors censorship, I find their constant efforts to turn the world into one big safe space both offensive and dangerous. They’ve been indoctrinated to believe that they should go through life without ever being offended, so they’re attempting to sanitize reality until there is nothing real about it anymore.

The story was covered by several writers at various Townhall Mothership sites. Here is the beginning of Robert’s in-depth analysis of it:

The past, as they say, is another country, and as far as today’s Left is concerned, that will never do: it might give the lumpenproletariat the idea that there is some other way to think, some other way to live. As Rick Moran noted Saturday, if you buy a new edition of one of the works of the beloved children’s book author Roald Dahl, author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach, you’re not going to get what Dahl actually wrote. Instead, you’re going to get a woke facsimile of Dahl, drastically written to bring thousands of little details into line with modern-day woke sensibilities. The implications of this are much larger than Dahl alone: the rewriting of Dahl is part of the Left’s larger effort not just to dominate contemporary society, but to close off all avenues of escape, and even the possibility that someone might think a non-woke thought.

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Make no mistake, whitewashing literature via posthumous content editing like this is far more insidious than banning books. The danger is in the subtlety. Banning and burning books provoke outrage among a wide variety of people. Yes, this story will get plenty of bad press in conservative media, but you won’t hear a peep from the left. Yes, the same left who screams “BOOK BANNERS!” at the tops of their lungs every time conservatives suggest that maybe having sexually graphic books in elementary school libraries is a bad idea.

Here’s a further example of just how ludicrous this all is from one of the two posts our sister site Twitchy did on the story:

Remember how traumatized you were by the fact that Augustus Gloop was fat after the first time you saw Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? And how dare the fictitious Oompa Loompas not be more gender inclusive?

One almost has to admire the pluck of trying to erase fat kids from literature, given all of the visual evidence to the contrary on American streets.

If the endgame here weren’t so detrimental to the future of freedom, this could be dismissed as so much silliness. Rewriting fiction using the excuse that the context at the time it was written is offensive now dovetails with the woke left’s attempts to rewrite history. Remember, the left is offended by everything, so it’s all fair game. Leftists can keep using the delicate sensibilities of the fragile young woke kids as the reason they need to take a big historical eraser to everything. If the lefties have their way, a hundred years from today will be Lizzo Day and American schoolkids won’t have the slightest idea who George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are.

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I wish I were completely joking about that.

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