The Morning Briefing: Woke Eggs and Ham Time—Lefties Are About to Ruin Dr. Seuss

(AP Photo/Steven Senne)

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The unrealized promise of The Jetsons is the source of all my trust issues.

Let’s just finish the week with something different. OK, it’s leftists being ridiculous, so it’s not that different but, as we have seen so often lately, they’re getting even more awful.

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The woke types spend their days looking for things to be aggrieved about. I’m still occasionally amazed at what they can find to be their outrage du jour.

Things like Dr. Seuss books.

Matt’s got an update on a woke saga that began last year:

New Dr. Seuss books are coming, but they’re coming with an agenda.

Last year, the woke left decided that after decades of being in print, several of Dr. Seuss’s books were suddenly racist, not diverse enough, etc., and they were ultimately canceled by his publisher. Even Joe Biden refused to acknowledge Dr. Seuss in his presidential proclamation for Read Across America Day, which occurs on Seuss’s birthday.

But I guess time heals all wounds, because Joe Biden did mention Dr. Seuss in this year’s proclamation.

It’s nigh on impossible to wrap one’s head around what might be offensive about a bunch of imaginary creatures, but the wokesters see made-up monsters under every bed.

If it seems that the perceived crimes against humanity to be found in the Dr. Seuss oeuvre have been forgiven, that’s not entirely correct. There’s always a price to be paid with these people.

More from Matt:

According to a report from the New York Post, an “inclusive” group of writers and artists from “diverse racial backgrounds” will be taking previously unseen sketches by Dr. Seuss and “woke-washing” them for the next generation of indoctrinated leftists with “inclusive” storylines “inspired by the drawings” that will “represent a diverse cross-section of racial backgrounds to represent as many families as possible,” reps for Dr. Seuss Enterprises explain.

So, have you always wanted to see a pride-flagged Sneetch perform fellatio on a brown-furred Lorax? There’s a high probability you might finally get your chance, because diversity!

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This is a story that is deeply in “not The Onion” territory. It’s too absurd to be believed, or at least it would have been even 10 years ago. Yet here we are.

The only consolation in this madness is the undeniable fact that the wokesters are inherently miserable people and incapable of experiencing joy. It’s impossible to have a laugh when the next grievance absolutely must be found. So, even when they win, they don’t win.

Now we just have to learn to fight them better.

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