Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Clive knew that he needed professional treatment to deal with his growing fear that all chihuahuas were possessed by the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor.
We’ll do something quick here at the top before getting to the debut of the “Mailbag of Magnificence” (working title).
Gavin Newsom — the insufferable governor of the up-and-coming Soviet state of California — has been in the news a bit too much lately. He keeps insisting that he’s not running for president, which is what all politicians do when they’re planning on running for president.
Gwen wrote about Newsom’s recent trip to the Swamp, and the ridiculous reason for it:
Ostensibly, California’s Gov. Gavin Newsom went to Washington, D.C. on Wednesday to attend the National Forum on Education Policy and to receive the Frank Newman Award for State Innovation. Yes, that’s right, the leftist governor — who not only needlessly prevented over six million California kids from attending their schools in person and forced them to wear masks
foreverfor over two years but also oversees some of the nation’s most academically inferior schools — accepted an award in education innovation for the once-Golden State. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?
Cool story, bro.
Gwen synopsizes Newsom’s real motivation quite nicely:
In reality, Newsom was at the White House to meet with Biden Administration officials and congressional leaders all in an orchestrated attempt to contrast him as the youthful Democratic prince-in-waiting to Joe Biden’s old decrepit King.
Hey, why not? It’s not like the Democrats are blessed with a bench that’s loaded with potential juggernauts to replace Biden on the ticket in 2024. Let’s not even pretend that any of them want Kamala Harris to carry the torch.
This got me thinking about a potential DeSantis/Newsom battle in 2024 and how delicious that would be. The contrast between the governor the MSM loves to hate, but who gets everything right, and Newsom’s house of cards career would really clear things up. Even with the help of their flying monkeys in the mainstream media, the Dems won’t be able to make COVID panic linger long enough to help them in 2024. DeSantis would crush Gov. Hair and we could enjoy at least four years of watching the left drown in their own tears.
Sounds like a party.
The Mailbag of Magnificence
This is a work in progress. I’ll just be using first names. Our first email comes from Warren:
Curious as to what you consider good sources of honest information, beside PJ, Townhall and Red State….
Are you a fan of Substack, News with Views, and CNN+(haha)…?
Honestly, since I write so much about media bias I spend a lot of time reading the news sources we love to hate. Yeah, it makes me feel icky, but somebody has to do it. My colleagues will occasionally share some things from Substack writers and I usually enjoy what I read, but I don’t read any of the content there frequently. Stick with us and the rest of the Mothership sites and you won’t have to worry about anything.
Next up, we have John providing an example of my favorite kind of feedback:
“Kudos to you, DOCTOR Mama Jill for being the attention junkie that you are, even though you have the people skills of a diarrhetic hyena.”
Congratulations! Your sentence captured the essence of Jill Biden. She insists on DOCTOR with a third rate degree from a fourth rate college. The phrase “diarrhetic hyena” left me rolling on the floor with laughter.
John, you are a man of discernment and taste. America remains great because of people like you. Keep up the great work.
We’ll finish up our first mailbag with a note from Pat:
I enjoy the morning brief and always appreciate the way you begin with something funny.
I don’t know how you come up with those but the incongruence of the statements always make me laugh out loud.
The rest of the brief is necessary, if painful…I live in Canada so we have much pain up here, too.
Thanks for the always interesting and insightful morning read.
THANK YOU, Pat, for enjoying that. I like starting off on a friendly, lighthearted note because we know that the news of the day isn’t going to be pleasant very often. The second, nonsensical line just sort of took off last year. I like the challenge. Because it wouldn’t be the internet if someone didn’t complain, I got an email this week asking me to stop doing the “dumb first paragraph.” Yes, I’m truly history’s greatest monster (LITERALLY HITLER) for kicking each day off with a warm greeting and an attempt to make people smile or chuckle.
Thanks to all who sent emails this week, even “dumb first paragraph” guy. You can ask me anything, it doesn’t have to be about the news that week. Come at me from out of left field. Send your comments, questions, or rants to [email protected] by Thursday morning each week. Let’s make it weird.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Everything Isn’t Awful
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