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Kruiser's (Almost) Daily Distraction: I Dream of Elon Musk Playing 4-D Chess With Twitter

(Kruiser’s Permanote Description: This column is intended to be a lighthearted, short-form way to frequently connect with our cherished VIP readers. Sometimes it will be serious. Sometimes it will be fun. Sometimes it will be a cornucopia of intellectual curiosities and fascinations. OK, maybe not so much the last one. Anyway, as this is a departure for me, I’m including this explanation at the top of each post for a while. Also, non-subscribers can see the first couple of paragraphs so I am in desperate need of filler until we get to the private stuff (subscribe here). Please remember that there is a standing invitation to ask me anything in the comments. Once in a while, I’ll answer some of them.)

Yeah, I know, this was supposed to be a more frequent thing. Well, I’ve been reexamining my work and realized that I have been WAY overthinking the process and the output lately. We are done with that and I’m going to have some fun that’s entertaining for you as well, cherished readers.

Let us begin anew.

It is no big secret that I am an old-school Twitter fan who laments what has become of the platform but still holds out some hope that it will get better. Naturally, I was excited when Elon Musk broke the will of leftists everywhere and announced that he was going to buy Twitter.

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The recent news that Musk wants to pull out of the deal because he thinks that Twitter is lying about the number of spam accounts it actually has hit hard here in the Kruiser Bunker. I was ready to do the whole sackcloth and ashes thing because I remain convinced that only Musk can save Twitter from itself.

When Twitter responded by suing Musk in an effort to hold him to his purchase offer, I oddly found myself rooting for the Twitter board.

Yeah, I needed a couple of showers after that.

Musk responded to the suit by mocking the Twitter brass ON TWITTER, which was fun to watch (click to see the whole tweet):

My PJM colleagues and I were discussing this on Slack when it happened, and I said that I wouldn’t be surprised if this was Musk’s plan all along.

Because I so desperately want Musk to end up with the platform that I once loved, I keep hoping that he really is just manipulating the Twitter board and making it play into his hands. In my fever dream, Musk not only forces Twitter to come clean in court, but he then picks up the company at a huge discount from his initial offer because of it.

Then he cleans house and we get back to doing dirty hashtag games on Twitter when we’re bored.

I am aware that a lot of people don’t like Twitter. My fondness for it partially has to do with the fact that it once was a boatload of fun. The real reason it holds a special place in my social media heart is that Twitter was where I first met almost all of the people who have become my friends through politics. It was what we did.

Heck, I wouldn’t have this gig if it weren’t for Twitter. My original path to PJTV and then PJ Media was made possible by people I’d met on Twitter.

For now, I’m going to keep dreaming that Elon Musk is chuckling away, entertained by the knowledge that he’ll get what he wants at an even better price.

If that doesn’t happen, I’m going to see if Friendster can be revived.

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