Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Quelledina was often called to the village to soothe troubled goatherds with her zither rendition of “Danke Schoen.”
The real reason is that Republicans and Democrats can’t find any common ground when dealing with issues pertaining to our southern border is that there has never been any agreement between the two parties about what’s actually happening down there. It’s as if they’re discussing two different borders on two different continents.
As we wrap up this week, we’ve been provided with a perfect example of this divide courtesy of two female members of Congress: Massachusetts Democratic Rep. Ayanna Pressley and Sen. Katie Britt, a Republican from Alabama.
Rick covered the story about Squad stalwart Pressley:
For example, during a CNN interview with Jake Tapper, the Massachusetts Democrat was asked about the looming government shutdown and funding border security during the crisis. Tapper pointed out that Republican governors sent a few buses to northern cities, and Pressley responded that she disagreed with using people as “political pawns.”
That’s when the rocket blasted off and sent her speeding toward Mars.
“No doubt about it, our border is secure, and we are in the midst of a humanitarian crisis,” she said.
Who would know more about how secure the U.S./Mexican border is than a woman who lives in Massachusetts and works in Washington, D.C.? Next up, I’ll be speaking authoritatively on the fishing conditions in Newfoundland.
As Rick notes, Pressley keeps repeating the phrase “humanitarian crisis,” like some sort of female impression of “Rainman.” The question then is: Why is there a humanitarian crisis if the border is secure?
I’ll wait.
Next up is this righteous rant from Sen. Britt, which Gwendolyn wrote about:
On Wednesday, Sen. Katie Britt (R-AL) had had enough. She’d had enough of the lies and the lack of truthful mainstream media coverage of the chaos caused by Joe Biden at our southern border.
Britt, flanked by Senators Lindsey Graham (R-S.C. ), Marsha Blackburn (R- Tenn.), John Cornyn (R-Texas), and Ted Cruz (R- Texas), gave an impassioned and seemingly impromptu speech the likes of which we haven’t seen from any GOP politician in a long, long time.
“We got to hear [illegal immigrant] women tell us their stories — and their stories are brutalizing,” said Britt. She explained how she heard a woman explain her story “not just about being raped, but how many times a day she’s raped…having to lay in that bed while they come in and out and in and out — it’s disgusting, and it’s despicable.” And that woman isn’t alone. There are thousands more like her experiencing the same things or worse, but the mainstream media chooses not to cover it.
“If you’re not telling it, that’s on you,” Britt told the member of the media in front of her.
Go watch the videos in each of these posts. That’s where the real contrast comes into play. Pressley is a soulless automaton, reciting tired and untrue talking points in the service of an administration that created the humanitarian crisis she’s bemoaning. She’s speaking about an abstraction.
Britt, on the other hand, is on fire and choked up with emotion. She realizes that it’s not just a humanitarian crisis but a humanitarian horror. The Democrats pretend that their border policies are compassionate, even though all they’ve done is create a situation where women and children are getting trafficked and raped. While Britt demands that the media do their jobs to highlight the nightmare at the border, Pressley babbles on and on about “more funding,” like the mindless socialist that she is.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Your Tale of Two Parties: Border Edition.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
The Mailbag of Magnificence
Let’s start with a question from Ralph:
Hi, Stephen.
A suggestion:
This is a bit of a nitpick, I will admit, but when you quote the PJ Media writers, you normally use only their first names. Would it be a big issue to include the writers’ last names when you refer to them? I’m not that familiar with all of the writers and if I’m in a hurry I don’t necessarily want to click on the link to see exactly whom you are referencing.
Thanks for your consideration.
I promise that I will think about it, Ralph. I don’t do it because I think it’s a bit formal for what I’m doing here. I do appreciate your reasoning, however, and may give it a trial run.
Alex writes:
All the talk of Michelle Obama not wanting to give up the celebrity life, not wanting a day job and so on presupposes that she cares about doing a good job as president. #44, Jesus Obama was not exactly the hardest working man in DC, phoned it in most of the time and never let the mundane duties of the office interfere with Celebrity Night Wednesdays at the White House.
All of the above may be true, but I do remember Obama complaining about the lack of freedom when he was in office. Yeah, he’s still got the Secret Service hanging around all the time, but he and the missus dictate their own schedules, and I do think that may be the big thing. Just yesterday, the Lightbringer had a meeting at CAA, the Hollywood power players who represent the Obamas’ production company. I could be wrong, but it does look like they really like the lifestyle.
This is from Brian:
Good Morning Mr Kruiser,
Biden and the gang lie about the economy as if they are actual Soviet economists.
I’m just bracing for the inevitable, “Real Bidenomics hasn’t even been tried yet.”
(Also, Madera Canyon in March is awesome.)
Thanks for your briefings,
Thank you, Brian, for reading the Briefing. I need a Xanax with a Jameson chaser just to get up the nerve to look at my retirement account these days. The Soviet comparison is dead on, and one I’ve made on several occasions myself. Maybe we can bump into each other on a bread line soon.
Thanks for reminding me; I haven’t been to Madera Canyon since I moved back. I’m going to have to fix that soon.
We’ll finish with this complaint from David:
You are still opening with the STUPID ABSTRACT JOKES.
You have IGNORED my previous email.
Your stupid abstract jokes are STILL NOT FUNNY.
Your stupid abstract jokes are STILL ANNOYING.
Your stupid abstract jokes
STILL DETRACT from any semblance of JOURNALISTIC PROFESSIONALISM you might otherwise have.
Please do not ignore me again.
If you actually did send me these complaints before, then I would have told you everything I’m about to, and you just didn’t understand.
The second line isn’t a joke, it’s a goofy non sequitur meant to kick things off on a lighthearted note. Jokes are what I do onstage professionally. If I were telling jokes, you’d be paying me.
Nothing is detracting from my journalistic professionalism because I am not a journalist, nor would I want to be one. Ever. I have never claimed to be one. I am a verbal bomb-throwing conservative opinion writer. Anyone who thinks — or ever thought — that I’m a journalist is seriously and sadly confused.
Good talk, everyone. Thanks for keeping in touch!
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