The Morning Briefing: The DeSantis/Newsom Gubernatorial Throwdown Is a Welcome Distraction

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Feldwyn was determined to sell his Parcheesi league on the joys of split pea guacamole.

It’s a good time for a little sideshow.

California Governor Gavin Newsom presides over a disaster and loves to run around pretending otherwise. In Newsom’s telling of the story, California is still the Golden State of yesteryear, the one I loved for most of the time I lived there.

That California, as all of us who have fled the state are painfully aware, doesn’t exist anymore and probably isn’t coming back.

An odd part of Newsom’s ongoing delusion is a habit of badmouthing red states that are thriving. His favorite target is Florida and Gov. Ron DeSantis. DeSantis recently decided to do a little needling of his own, which Chris wrote about:

At a press conference after signing a bill into law, DeSantis took on Newsom directly and brutally. He began by detailing the plight of the Tarnished Golden State. He pointed out that Newsom has “huge problems in his state. I mean, like, huge problems in his state. We all know that. I mean, you see it in San Francisco, you see it in L.A. You see it in the people fleeing.”

DeSantis went on to remind his audience that California’s slow bleed-out hasn’t always been the case.

“California, from its inception, gained population every single year until [Newsom] became governor,” he said. “California was probably the height of opportunity for middle-class Americans for many, many decades. In this country… people were drawn to there, and yet he’s the first governor that’s overseen a massive exodus out of California.”

I can personally attest to this being true. At CPAC 2022, I ran into a lot of my old Hollywood conservative unground friends, and we had all left California in recent years. In fact, it’s easier for me to quickly recall the conservative friends who still live there than the ones who have moved away.

Chris hilariously refers to Newsom as “Patient Zero” for “DeSantis Derangement Syndrome.” He does seem to have DeSantis on the brain. I guess having a nonsensical interstate spat helps keep his mind off of all of the Hep C-covered sidewalks in San Francisco, which Newsom was once the mayor of.

DeSantis issued an interesting challenge to Governor French Laundry:

“But what I would tell him is, ‘You know what, stop pussyfooting around. Are you going to throw your hat in the ring and challenge Joe? Are you going to get in and do it or are you just going to sit on the sidelines and chirp? So why don’t you throw your hat in the ring? And then we’ll go ahead and talk about what’s happening.’”

He won’t challenge Biden. However, there are a lot of people on both sides of the aisle who think that President LOLEightyonemillion will check out (or be checked out) of this presidential race and that the Democrats will find a way to get Kamala Harris to step aside. Most who think that way believe that Newsom will then be the lefty of choice.

I think there are too many “maybes” in that scenario. There’s also the fact that the party that’s all-in on diversity politics would have a very difficult time making the black woman from California get out of the way for the lily-white man from the same state.

What’s happening in California is truly tragic. It remains one of the most physically beautiful places on Earth. It was once a land of great promise for people seeking any number of variations of the American Dream. Only Democrats could ruin something so grand. They did it rather quickly too.

This is just the first year of Newsom’s second term. By the time he’s done, the once glorious Golden State may forever be the saddest permanent example of the damage leftist lunacy can do.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

Let’s begin with this from Patricia:

Hi Steve,
Love your stuff. But I just got the word through a friend that the Republicans who didn’t vote to censure Schiff did so because the measure included a fine of $16M for Schiff. They thought it would set a bad precedent to fine a member of the House that heavily. Not that I don’t think Schiff should be fined (better yet tossed out), but that table could easily turn. The said Republicans are waiting for a better version. I tend to agree with them and I am as far right as you can get.

Yeah, I’ve read all the “Blah, blah, blah” about the fine. It’s crap. First, the fine isn’t set in stone in the resolution. Second, they could have negotiated and gotten it out of there. Rep. Massie’s whining about not wanting to provoke the Dems and have them retaliate when they’re back in the majority was really stupid. Newsflash Tommy: they’re already awful.

John writes:

Greetings earthling,

Inquiring minds want to know regarding phobias:

If there were a “Straight Pride” celebration, would anyone who opposed it be a “heterophobe”?

Asking for a friend …

In the end, we are all phobes. It’s the one thing that truly unites us.

Our friend Brice weighs in with this:

When they started attacking Santos over his resume lies he missed an opportunity to do some master trolling. He should have offered to resign as soon as Biden resigned for his lies… then listed all of Biden’s lies going back to Biden’s plagiarism. He should’ve sold his “resume enhancements” as a plan to make Democrats and their Catamites in the media deal with their liar.

Brilliant! You know, I don’t think it’s too late for this. I will pass this along to his chief of staff, who I believe is Napoleon Bonaparte.

We’ll wrap up with this from Garrett:

Where do you come up with some of the names for this non-sequitur? And secondly, what is a Capybara? I know there are some books that have baby names in them for folks to look at prior to their child being born, but “Alora”? I don’t remember that being in the books we perused.

You have a fertile mind, my friend. First thing I read each morning. Just wish you also had one on Saturday and Sunday, but it just wets my whistle to wait until Monday mornings.

Honestly, I just wing it with the names. I also often talk to myself in fake languages. Things are a little weird here in the Kruiser Bunker. A Capybara is a huge rodent. They’re so ridiculous looking that they’re kind of cool. I need my days off to avoid humanity so that I can once again deal with humanity. I also like to pretend that there is no news on the weekends.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in!

Everything Isn’t Awful

“Wait for me” 😂 pic.twitter.com/12SZV7cYGK

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) June 15, 2023

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