Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Temperance’s insistence that she was above eating Velveeta is what eventually got her thrown out of the cul-de-sac Glee Club.
The worst political theater show in American history finally wrapped up its run in Washington. The House J6 Soviet Select Committee on Daddy Issues finished up where it began: whining about Donald Trump because ORANGE MAN BAD.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s handpicked January 6 committee announced Monday that it will refer former President Donald Trump to the Department of Justice for criminal prosecution, according to a report from Fox News.
The decision is about as surprising as the big dance number at the end of a kabuki performance, and just as scripted.
MSN headlined the decision as the January 6 committee “condemn[ing] Trump as ‘central cause’ of insurrection.”
Here’s where sensible people ask, “What insurrection?”
Exactly. The only people who are calling this an insurrection exhibit one or more of the following traits: they’re pathological liars, they’re head trauma patients, or they’re too stupid to understand what “insurrection” means. As Mr. Green says in his post, the insurrection charge is “absurd.”
This is yet another case of the Democrats and their flying monkeys in the mainstream media creating and perpetuating a story that bears no resemblance to reality. Stephen shared this gem from Scott Adams that perfectly encapsulates how insane the Dems’ version of what happened is:
The Jan6th Committee reminds America that we can never again allow a small band of unarmed protesters to conquer the largest military power in the history of human civilization by sauntering through the Capitol rotunda and taking selfies.
We were so close to losing everything.
— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) December 19, 2022
If you missed all of this televised abuse of American taxpayer money, it’s understandable. The only people who watched it are the same people who watch MSNBC and CNN so…not the biggest audience.
We all know that the J6 Dems — along with their trained Republican chimps Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger — have been solely focused on keeping Donald Trump off of the 2024 presidential ballot. That’s it, nothing more. They’re terrified of facing him with whichever mundane loser they end up running, so they are preemptively tampering with the election.
Here’s the thing though: the Democrats’ obsession to keep Trump off of the ballot is probably doing more to make sure that he’s on it than anything else. And yes, that includes his ego.
In a recent column, I wrote that I’m not getting the vibe that Trump even wants to run. Yes, he was the first to enter the race, but there could be any number of reasons for that.
In fact, I’ve written that I think Trump was perfectly content to hold rallies and play kingmaker before Merrick Garland decided to raid Mar-a-Lago. The Democrats practically filed the campaign papers for him.
Because they can’t quit Trump, they make him bigger than ever. After doing all of the questionable things that they could to get Joe Biden into the Oval Office, they could have been content to let Trump golf for a while. But they couldn’t shut up.
What the J6 commies have done now is turn Trump into a living martyr. There is little doubt that Garland will try to make some of the J6 Committee folly stick. Trump may end up with a coronation rather than an inauguration if the AG decides to keep using the Justice Department as his therapy vehicle for working out personal issues.
Liz Cheney may very well end up with an MSNBC gig, but that’s not the way she or Daddy Dick drew up her political career path. She sabotaged her career to try and stick it to Trump, but her time on the committee may have merely served as an in-kind contribution to his 2024 reelection campaign.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
The Mailbag of Magnificence
Let us begin with a correction. William reminds me:
Arizona was the last of the contiguous states to join the union. Alaska is on the same continent. Me, long time Arizonan and Tucsonan who now lives in Washinton state (older than dirt and near one child). Long time MD in the Casas Adobes area, now retired. I miss my Tucson. Keep up the good work.
We don’t bury the corrections here at the Morning Briefing. I am embarrassed and have brought shame upon my family. Thanks for the heads up, Bill. In my defense, there may have been alcohol involved.
This is from iMPROViTRON:
Mr. Kruiser,You mentioned that you’d often thought of collaborating with an artist to illustrate your introductions.
Immediately I thought, why pay a human when OpenAI’s DALL-E program will do it for free?
I ran a few through of the more recent ones and got some absolutely insane results, as you can see
The ensuing images were very drug trippy but — not gonna lie — I will give this a try soon. No drugs will be involved unless I decide to work remotely from the 1980s.
Momster Mom is back with this:
Dear Kruiser,
I agree with Lee from Queensland. Your “Everything Isn’t Awful” videos never fail to warm the cockles of my heart. However, this makes my cockles too warm and they have begun to chafe. It has necessitated my putting in a supply of dry ice to rub my cockles with. Due to supply chain issues, dry ice has become increasingly difficult to obtain. Please put in a word for me with Pete Buttigieg!
Proper cockles care is always a priority here at the Morning Briefing. I did try to contact Mayor Pete, but he was on a vision quest at a petting zoo, drinking Bellinis from a canteen and attempting to breastfeed a yak.
We will finish with this quick note from David:
“Lorenz should be kicked off forever so she can have more time to get the mental help she so obviously needs”. Hilarious!
Great article, loved every word of it.
Taylor Lorenz is so unstable that she actually checks under her own bed every night to make sure that she hasn’t stashed an icepick there. Then she cries herself to sleep in a My Pillow, slathered in the shame of her hypocrisy.
Thanks for the note and I’m glad you enjoyed it, David!
And thanks to everyone who wrote in. This Friday is the big Christmas Eve Eve Mailbag, so please keep those digital cards and letters coming.
Everything Isn’t Awful
This is Anna Makievska.
When Russian tanks swept into Ukraine, she refused to shut down her bakery. Instead, she and her team started giving away bread to anyone who needs it.
So far they've given away 100,000 loaves — and counting.
🍞 🇺🇦 pic.twitter.com/pbr08YT8pY
— Goodable (@Goodable) December 19, 2022
PJ Media
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Why You Need to Stop Worrying and Love Trump Again
Townhall Mothership
Well, he’s a commie, so…Rep. Ted Lieu REALLY Does Not Want People to Read the Twitter Files
How the NFL Just Embarrassed Every Team’s Owner
CNN Chief Reveals What He’s Found ‘Stunning’ Since Taking Over Network
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Cam&Co. Progressive opposition to IL gun control package?
Some Texas schools not ready for guns in classrooms
Why we still don’t understand turbulence
Amber Heard has decided to settle her case with Johnny Depp
Wreaths Across America – NAS Pensacola, Barrancas National Cemetery
That Pic of Elon Musk and Jared Kushner That’s Driving the Left Mad
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Kira. Tucker Carlson Says What We’re All thinking About Ronna McDaniel and Elections
Here are some examples of the handwritten poem Joe Biden gives to his wife every year
Veteran GOP strategist says these Trump rivals ‘smell blood’
Glenn Greenwald’s two-tweet swipe at ‘heroic, noble’ Liz Cheney is straight-FIRE and LOL
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VodkaPundit, Part Deux. Kissinger: Here’s How to Avoid Stumbling into World War III
‘Rachel’ Levine Accidentally Revealed Everything Wrong With the Transgender Movement
Around the Interwebz
Google will soon translate your doctor’s terrible handwriting
Can You Spot All 10 Differences Between These Two Festive Offices?
Bee Me
Hallmark Researchers Say They Are Close To Developing A Second Movie Plot https://t.co/XarsbomdPM
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 19, 2022
The Kruiser Kabana
Kabana Gallery
Boulevard Montmartre Winter Morning, 1897 #pissarro #danishart https://t.co/0UfiHfY26G pic.twitter.com/xUcop51l7A
— Camille Pissarro (@artpissarro) December 20, 2022
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