The Morning Briefing: Someone Tell Pence to Take His 2024 Delusions and Go Home

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Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Lorenzo had a strange knack for making dream catchers that the neighbors always thought looked like Charo on acid.

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Look, I like Mike Pence. Always have. I met him when he was in Congress and really enjoyed talking to him. I thought that he balanced out Trump very well.

But his time in the political spotlight is over, especially after last Tuesday’s stomach flu of an election.

Pence is getting a lot of book tour face time right now and he’s become a bit, well, tedious. Robert has the details:

When did Mike Pence morph into Mitt Romney? The formerly sane vice president has now joined the likes of Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger in banging the tattered Jan. 6 “insurrection” drum, trying to stoke hatred of Donald Trump and provoke legal action against him over this supposed effort to destroy “our democracy” that lacked a leader, advance planning, weapons, and everything else you might expect an attempt to overthrow the government to have.

Pence is making the media rounds promoting his new memoir, So Help Me God, which is sure to release a megaton of pious posturing and hypocrisy into the atmosphere; on Sunday, ABC’s World News Tonight released portions of an interview, showing that Pence is going all-in on echoing talking points that Leftists use with increasing frequency to silence and discredit patriots.

Pence told ABC’s David Muir that Donald Trump engaged in “reckless” rhetoric on that fateful day and he “endangered me and my family and everyone at the Capitol.”

In recent years, when a Republican sucks up to the thoroughly corrupt mainstream media this way, he or she is angling for a job (Ms. Cheney, they’re ready for you in makeup…), but there’s no way that’s Pence’s endgame here. The only thing that makes sense is that he is trying to jockey for position in the 2024 presidential election.

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Not too long ago, I would have welcomed a Pence run for the Oval Office. Times have changed at a (pun intended) fever pace since the pandemic, however. Even though he was Trump’s second-in-command, Pence has a “square peg in a round hole” feel about him in the post-2020 GOP. As we saw last week, the party is struggling for an identity right now. This really isn’t a time to look to the past to get to the future.

Pence is a very smart guy, but even the smartest high-level politicians can be swayed by the opinions of their closest friends and advisors. He no doubt has quite a few people in his ear telling him to run. And since he’s the former Vice President of the United States, throwing together a well-financed campaign won’t be a problem.

Because he is smart, I think that Pence will eventually see the writing on the Florida wall and acknowledge that the 2024 Republican nomination contest is a two-man race. He doesn’t strike me as a guy who would willingly seek out the aggravation of an uphill battle like that.

Pence can be very proud of his political service to his state and the nation.

He should now stay in Indiana and spend his retirement cashing royalty checks from the book.

On a lighter, non-political note…

Budd Friedman brought stand-up comedy into the modern era when he opened the first Improv in the early 1960s. He passed away over the weekend at the ripe old age of 90. Budd and the Comedy Store’s Mitzi Shore were the driving engines behind the huge comedy boom of the ’70s and ’80s. I had the great fortune of starting stand-up during that boom. It was a magical time. My career really took off when Budd first saw me in a comedy contest in Atlanta. It changed my life dramatically. In fact, I can draw a line from that night to this gig here. I wrote a column for our Culture section (I need to do more of that) wherein I reminisce about what Budd did for me and my career. I don’t always get personal, so this is a bit of a departure. It’s also a break from politics, which we can all use. I hope you’ll all check it out, even if it’s just to see the screenshot of my glorious mane from my first appearance on An Evening at the Improv.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

We will begin with this bit of nonsense from Tom:

We will never win another majority in any further elections if voices like you continue to ignore the absolute steal of our elections.  There are so many conservatives who think,  “Just wait till next election”, and refuse to speak truth to this ridiculous electoral process right before their eyes.  They are robbing you right in front of your eyes,  and you refuse to acknowledge it.  If it looks like a duck,  quacks like a duck, and craps all over everything like a duck, it’s probably a duck, Cruiser.

It takes a staggering amount of obtuseness to say that my vast body of work has ignored the problems with our elections. That’s as politely as I can put that here. Also, it’s “Kruiser.”

This is from Psi Borg:

I don’t think that there would be as much blow-back as you might think, if Biden the Wonder Chicken ran with New Scum, only to resign. There are still too many of the “offended and oppressed” who wouldn’t think twice about who they voted for, even if the Republican were Warnock. They aren’t worried that the Democrats are ruining things, as long as they get to do what they want (rioting, looting stores, shoplifting with impunity, etc) in places like Commifornia.

Trust me, I’m right. The Democrats got into this mess because it’s all about the diversity checklists for them. They can’t hit that with White-Out.

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Suzanne writes:

Love your column and I am a VIP member.

The one scenario you didn’t include, which my friends and I were seriously discussing, is that sometime in 2024 we will have another “pandemic” and we’ll all have to mail in our ballots.

I have never been so disgusted with the stupidity of the American people.

We’re looking for property in Belize or Panama.

Suzanne

Thank you, Suzanne. I have no doubt that they really wanted to keep the pandemic panic going through last week and weren’t able to get anyone but people who were already voting Democrat on board.

Sadly, the biggest vote-by-mail fix was already put in place in 2020. The damage has been done and the heinous mail-in ballots are here to stay, at least for a while.

As far as property goes, I know a place in northern Arizona I’ll be retreating to if it ever becomes “bunker and manifesto” time.

We’ll wrap up with this from Kevin:

Sir Kruiser,

First off I’d like to add another contestant to the second sentence moniker melange – The Syllabic Menagerie.

I like that, Kevin.

I know that your email was a lot longer but you started talking about another writer who, even though he’s a friend of mine, isn’t me. We talk about me here.

Glad we cleared that up.

Thanks, everyone. Let’s get Friday’s Mailbag full!

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