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The Morning Briefing: Britney Spears Is the Only Thing Americans Can Agree On

(Steve Marcus/Las Vegas Sun via AP)

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Britney Spears Unites Us All

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. People who can touch their toes are a little too full of themselves.

After giving it quite a lot of thought, I have decided that I would really like to spend a lot more quality time working with chocolate. I feel that I have untapped talents in the world of chocolate and I might be looking at a new legacy here.

Mmmm…chocolate.

Anyway, let us finish this fine week with a discussion about the state of interpersonal relations here in our beloved country. I will see what I can do to help facilitate some sort of healing that everyone can enjoy.

Tens of thousands of words are written seemingly every hour of every day right now bemoaning the schism that has befallen the United States of America. We don’t get along, at least when it comes to politics. For some of us, that’s not a full-time problem. There are some people, however, who have to make everything political, so schism it is.

There are days when it seems as if it will be this way forever. We’re headed toward permanent emotional, ideological, and geographic Balkanization. It can be a bit much at times.

It appears, however, that common ground can still be found in the strangest places, among the most disparate groups of people:

Note to lefty trolls: I am not now, nor have I ever been, a QAnon fan. I still don’t really know who they are.

Seriously, I have had conversations about this Britney Spears thing with people from all walks of life and political persuasions in the past few weeks and everyone is in agreement: It’s a tragic situation and Britney deserves to get control of her life back.

Megan has more on this budding American kumbaya moment:

Matt Gaetz is fired up and he has every reason to be. Recently, Britney Spears took the stand and told the world that she’s been suffering under a forced conservatorship. The conservatorship has taken her freedom, enforced her sterility, denied her a marriage, and even restricted her freedom to see her own children. The country is waking up to the reality of guardianship and how terrifying it is that a judge can just strip all of your human rights away.

A crowd had gathered to celebrate Spears’ legal victory in being allowed to hire her own lawyer instead of having one apointed by the court. Gaetz stood up to the microphone and told the crowd that America has a big problem and it’s festering in probate courts. He called it a “black eye” on our justice system that Spears is still under conservatorship.

“Britney has been abused by the media, she’s been abused by a grifter father, and she’s been abused by the American justice system,” he said. “We need to come together and create a federal cause of action…that will free Britney and the millions of Americans who are impacted by a corrupt guardianship system that empowers people to take advantage of the weak.”

Just how unifying is this cause, you ask?

It’s got Ted Cruz and Elizabeth Warren on the same side.

This could be a turning point at this dark time in American history. Who better to bring about the healing than a former member of The Mickey Mouse Club? This is the kind of scenario the Founding Fathers envisioned when they created a country where we were free to worship a God who would eventually give us Walt Disney.

All kidding aside, what’s being done to Britney Spears right now does rattle one’s faith in the American court system. Megan writes a lot about this kind of disturbing family court stuff and I encourage you to read it all. Remember, a family court gave O.J. Simpson custody of his kids after everyone in the world knew that he had decapitated their mother. It’s not a pretty set-up.

Let’s all rally behind Britney and not waste this bonding moment, America.

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