The Morning Briefing: Early Voting Is Why None of the Hunter Biden Stuff Matters

Sorry Kids, the Early Voting Fix Is In

The Hump Day is upon us and I hope all of you are having a good one, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. I’m in the mood for sushi.

I know I’m not going to make a lot of friends with this lead-in today but I am compelled by a need to be honest with my readers.

The people on my side of the political aisle are all wound up about the Hunter Biden news and all that might mean for the upcoming election. Most think it’s a game-changer. The mood is good and all is right with the world.

Yeah well…no.

This is going to be quick and brutal, my friends.

I can’t for a moment hope that the fact we’re getting proof that Joe Biden’s son is even sleazier than his dad is will change the election. And that’s because people LEGALLY began voting in the 2020 election sometime back in the Eisenhower era.

There are record numbers of people voting early this year. So many ballots have been cast at this point that Joe Biden might be able to murder someone on live television and not have it affect the election.

That’s the evil of early voting. It eliminates last-minute mind changes. The Democrats love this, of course, because they are running exceedingly flawed candidates of late. Early voting is a cheaply-purchased insurance policy to protect against the revelation that the candidate they’re running was letting his little boy give shady Ukrainians access to the highest levels of American government.

We can work ourselves up into all of the “GAME CHANGE!” fever pitch we want to about the Hunter Biden/Burisma story but the simple fact of the matter is that the average American voter doesn’t know a thing about it and, even if they did, they probably voted a week ago.

Most October Surprises really aren’t that surprising. They usually involve some so-so oppo research that some highly paid but ignorant consultant decided to sit on for reasons that made no sense.

This surprise has some teeth, however. Sadly, these teeth won’t be able to bite anything.

What’s most frustrating is that this early voting lunacy is being cheered on by Republicans:

🗳️ 🗳️ 🗳️

For more information, visit ➡️ https://t.co/EHvw1wGqdk pic.twitter.com/ETsz5Ko5f3

— GOP (@GOP) October 20, 2020

YAY, LET’S CELEBRATE THE CHEAPENING OF ELECTIONS !

Enjoy President Biden and please do keep a detailed account of your gulag experiences.

Early Voting Is the Devil and Has Completely Corrupted the Election Process

Smells Like Onion

‘Hate Has No Home Here’ Banner Taken Down To Make Room For ‘Zombie Crossing’ Sign https://t.co/Hz78XdvqcH pic.twitter.com/xeB73V6YcM

— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 20, 2020

The Kruiser Kabana

pic.twitter.com/VYlM5B9Zls

— Archillect (@archillect) September 18, 2020

I’ve never used a whisk on a first date.

___

Kruiser Twitter
Kruiser Facebook
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.