The Morning Briefing: Dems Will Never Think Their Party Is So Broken It Needs Fixing

Top O' the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Complimentary artisanal body wash is available after completing the Morning Toe-Touch Awakening in the Bungalow of Trust.

(Stay tuned for some lighthearted good news.)

As someone who was very politically active back when the Democrats weren't all clinically insane and who had many friends on the other side of the aisle, I would love it if we could go back to those relatively halcyon days. Or something like them.

It's not going to happen, because the Democrats thrive on negativity and awfulness, and they're swimming in both now.

A lot of conservatives look at the Democrats and attempt to apply the logic and rules that dictat what we do in our lives to speculation about what the Dems might do in a given situation. It's a fool's errand, because the Democrats now occupy a fictional non-reality that isn't governed by anything in our experience.

The conversation this year about the party's internal strife over the rising power of the Democratic Socialists of America presupposes that the higher-ups in the party feel that there is a genuine problem. I've maintained all along that there is no ideological tussle in the Democratic Party because they're all commies. This is merely an ego clash between a caclified power structure that's reluctant to yield that power, and younger Democrats who see an opportunity to skip several rungs on the climb up the ladder of power.

In other words, the old Dems snoozed, and now they're losing.

Abdul El-Sayed's victory in the Michigan Democratic Senate primary this week is sure to keep opening several cans of worms. Robert and Catherine both wrote about looming problems and rough edges concerning the Dems' latest America-hating commie upstart.

The Democrats can't fix what we see as wrong with their party because they drift along on a fairytale sea of blamelessness. They've always been good at deflection, but it's become a pathology that has them blaming President Trump for all that they do wrong.

Change and painful growth require self-reflection, another thing that's not a part of the aforementioned fairytale. The reflexive "But Trump!" blame assignment has them forever looking outward. Inward glances are anathema to them.

Emotionally crushing electoral defeats don't even rattle them. There's always a victim card to play — both Hillary and Kamala are still blaming sexism for their pathetic campaigns and losses. Former Madame Veep gets to throw in "RAAAAAACISM" as well.

There was a very delayed postmortem done on the 2024 loss, but most of the discussion about that has been here in conservative media. The Democrats who need to pay attention to the conclusions remain in denial.

Still, beating them in elections is what's best for Republicans, the country, and, yes, even the Democrats. Maybe a string of losses will force a more functional sprout to grow from the party. Probably not, though.

One thing is certain: there won't be a course-correction because there isn't anyone in the party who thinks one is necessary. Yes, some prominent Dems have been squawking about leaving the party or their votes being in play, but I'm not buying any of it. In the end, the Democratic Party is a Borg hive mind.

Resistance is futile.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE KRUISER MORNING BRIEFING

It was seven years ago today that I took over the Morning Briefing. I was (and still am) very grateful for the opportunity but I had no idea how to go about editing and publishing a newsletter five days a week. Fortunately, I'm always blessed with an extraordinary amount of freedom here to express myself and experiment. I hope I'm figuring things out.

Of course, none of this works without all of you showing up each day and reading whatever tumbles out of my brain. We've got a fun group of regulars here and I would thank each of you individually if I could. Over a beer, even though my current state of health nuttiness means I'm not drinking that much.

Seriously though, thank you all for being here and making this gig so much fun. Let's keep the party going, shall we?

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Contributions to the Mailbag of Magnificence can be sent to [email protected]

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The Mailbag of Magnificence

I never know what, if anything, in the Sine Qua Non Sequitur is going to resonate. Yesterday's "20-foot tall animatronic Abe Vigoda" was a hit. We'll start with a quick note from Rick M. "Abe Vigoda? I didn't have that on my bingo card!" was the subject line for this:

Love your column every morning. It always brings a smile. Keep up the good work

Thank you very much, Rick! I will try to keep it up. Wait, what?

Marlene B. writes:

An animatronic Abe Vigoda— I’ve just got to have one!

I really do need to look into some licensing and merchandise. The Abe Vigoda estate probably wouldn't sign off on this though. Maybe I should give them a chance.

Bob A. is on to something here:

Super K, Your SQNS’s animatronic Abe Vigoda reminded me that I once told my kids that I wanted to put one those in my front yard of President Trump with an oscillating arm of him pointing with a voicebox repeating ‘fake news, fake news, fake news’. As far as your friends that were once Dumbocrats, they were only ‘mostly dead’. Keep on Kruisin’

With a big enough yard, you could assemble an animatronic roundtable of conservative luminaries to trigger any lefty neighbors. Imagine Joe Democrat from across the street waking up to Presidents Trump and Reagan waving at him as he walks outside to get his newspaper. Let's just gloss over the fact that nobody gets a newspaper anymore.

Tim S. will take us into the weekend:

Hi Mr. Kruiser, Long-time writer, first-time reader. No, wait, reverse that. As for the 20-foot animatronic of Abe Vigoda: as long as it is him as Detective Fish during his "Barney Miller" stint, I think it would be a fine addition to the neighborhood. Unless a Speedo is involved. Take care.

OK, Speedo Abe Vigoda worries me. I'm back in college and I'm a Psychology major, this could end up being an extra credit project or something. Also, I think that Barney Miller is one of the most underrated sitcoms in television history.

A big thanks to everyone who wrote in this week!

Everything Isn't Awful

Manure duty in this ring must be a character-builder. (I said "duty.)

Bull sees a show-jumping horse and decides he can do it too pic.twitter.com/7SWUdVrtG0
— Nature Unedited (@NatureUnedited) July 26, 2026

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Fable #artbots #klimt pic.twitter.com/PaxbQ5u9Ux
— Gustav Klimt (@artistgklimt) August 6, 2026

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

I saw two friends from opposite sides of the political aisle post about going to see Cheap Trick at the Troubadour in Hollywood earlier this week. "Cheap Trick at Budokan" was released and became a hit album when I was a senior in high school. In between parties on graduation night (Catholic HS — LOTS of parties) I went to a record store and bought it for myself as a gift. I saw them live once in the '80s. Just fun stuff.

Weekend Bonus

POTUS Press Today

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
08/06/26

WEEKEND GUIDANCE AND PRESS SCHEDULE FOR
FRIDAY, AUGUST 7 - SUNDAY, AUGUST 9, 2026

FRIDAY, AUGUST 7, 2026

In-Town Pool
TV Corr & Crew: CNN
Secondary TV Corr: Fox Business
Photos: AP, AFP, NYT, Reuters, Getty
Print: Huffpost
Secondary Print: AFP
Radio: iHeartMedia
New Media: Washington Free Beacon

Out-of-Town Travel Pool
TV Crew: CNN
Secondary TV Corr: Lindell TV
Photos: AP, AFP, NYT, Reuters, Getty
Print: Politico
Secondary Print: AP
Radio: NPR
New Media: Washington Free Beacon

EDT:
9:00 AM In-Town Pool Call Time
2:00 PM Out-of-Town Travel Pool Call Time

8:00 AM THE PRESIDENT participates in Executive Time
The White House
Closed Press

11:00 AM THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
The White House
Closed Press

12:00 PM THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
The White House
Closed Press

THE PRESIDENT departs the White House en route the U.S. Department of State
The White House
Out-of-Town Travel Pool

THE PRESIDENT arrives the U.S. Department of State
U.S. Department of State
Out-of-Town Travel Pool

3:00 PM THE PRESIDENT hosts a Roundtable on American Mining
U.S. Department of State
Pre-Credentialed Media

THE PRESIDENT departs the U.S. Department of State en route Bedminster, New Jersey
U.S. Department of State
Out-of-Town Travel Pool

THE PRESIDENT arrives Bedminster, New Jersey
Bedminster, New Jersey
Closed Press

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