The Morning Briefing: New Twitter Is Full of Glorious Musk-Scented Liberal Tears

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Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Monday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Jasmine’s extensive collection of paperback romance novel Fabio covers is kept well hidden ‘neath the floorboards of her essential oils pantry.


The reins of Twitter were finally wrested from the woke nerd fascists who’d been doing cheap Mussolini impressions and sucking the fun out of a platform that used to be a blast. Elon Musk waltzed into Twitter headquarters with a smile on his face and pink slips in his hands and immediately began breathing life back into the place.

There has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth on the left about this takeover. They’ve enjoyed a few years of censorship protocols that were the envy of North Korea but now the icky people who disagree with them aren’t going to be banned for wrongthink anymore. Nothing terrifies the goose-steppers like free expression, after all.

Musk’s acquisition of Twitter isn’t just some rich dude’s vanity project. He has some serious ideas about transforming the platform. First, he has to make the business functional, which will probably take some work. After tweeting that he’d received an autogenerated email informing him that it was time to start his Twitter management training, Musk was asked what the biggest problem with the company is at the moment. Our sister site Twitchy covered the thread. Here was his response:

I kept popping on and off of Twitter all weekend just for the straight hits of schadenfreude, and it never took me long to get my fix. The aforementioned weeping and gnashing of teeth had devolved into garment-rending and diaper-soiling and — not gonna lie — it was kind of fun to watch.


Also, I hope the internet never becomes scratch-and-sniff.

My favorite occurrence by far during the first few Musk-y days of New Twitter was this gem that Megan wrote about for us:

A few moments ago, less than 24 hours after Elon Musk took over as Chief Twit of Twitter, a fact-check has been placed on one of Joe Biden’s @POTUS tweets because… he’s lying. Biden tweeted, “Let me give you the facts. In 2020, 55 corporations made $40 billion. And they paid zero in federal taxes. My Inflation Reduction Act puts an end to this.”

Not so fast, homie. Twitter took the opportunity to add context that said, “Out of the 55 corporations the tweet referenced only 14 had earnings greater than $1 billion and would be eligible under Biden’s tax law.” LOL

This entire presidency is built on a mountain of lies so big that it keeps sunshine off of the peak of Mt. Everest. Seeing President LOLEightyonemillion called out so quickly in what used to be a safe space for him and his pathologically lying puppet masters was like a five-month early birthday present.

The emotional midget kids who run Biden’s social media are probably petitioning for mental health days off and access to trauma counselors after getting pushback like that.

The woke censorship fascists at Twitter have comforted themselves by saying that they’re really protecting people from hate speech and the new catch-all favorite of draconian thugs, “misinformation.” My colleague Jazz Shaw blows that notion completely out of the water in a recent post over at HotAir.


I obviously can’t predict how New Twitter is going to turn out under the guidance of Elon Musk. I do know that he does seem to genuinely have fun with the site and wants it to be more than a public scolding platform run by a bunch of constipated, woke millennials and Gen Z-ers. My hope is that he can make it fun again.

We’ve been running a little low on fun here in the Republic these last couple of years.

Reminder: there’s still time to get in something for tomorrow’s Mailbag of Magnificence.

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