Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Election Day, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Janet prefers to spend her weekends wearing a vivid magenta muumuu and singing all of Brigadoon while housecleaning.
So…anything going on today?
I’m one of those crazies who still votes on Election Day, rather than opt for the Democrat cons of mail-in and early voting. Early voting is the devil and should die a hideous death. The only people who should vote by mail are deployed military personnel, people who are expatriated for work, and people who are too physically ill to get to the polls. Participation in either for convenience is just enabling the Democrat fraud machine.
While today is certainly one of optimism for those of us on the political right, we must always be wary of the Democrats’ well-oiled election fraud machine. I frequently tell conservatives not to despair about voter fraud to the point of not voting anymore but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about it.
Democrats never believe that they lose elections because voters are rejecting their anti-American commie policies. Most modern Dems don’t believe they’ve lost at all since the year 2000.
Dem candidates have been pregaming their excuses for weeks already, and Kevin gives a good preview of them here.
Mail-in voting is obviously where the Democrats can wreak the most electoral havoc. I’ve been saying and writing for weeks that it is going to be difficult for Dr. Mehmet Oz to overcome the Mystical Magical Mail-In Ballots that will suddenly show up in the middle of the night in Philadelphia. All will be votes for Pennsylvania’s Highest-Elected Hobo, of course.
The Democrats are practically admitting this to be true. Catherine wrote last week about the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s decision to not allow incorrectly dated mail-in ballots to be counted. My RedState colleague Bob Hoge writes that John Fetterman’s campaign has already filed a lawsuit to be able to count the suspect ballots.
Hmmm… wonder why that would be important for them.
The Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media dutifully keep the false narrative going. Stacey writes that Politico has its underdrawers in a bunch because the Dems are facing a rough day at the polls:
You can’t make this up. After two years of being told the obvious irregularities in 2020 were part of the “most secure election ever,” Politico is worried the 2022 Election could be hacked. Follow the logic, dear readers. Under Barack Obama, the 2016 election was “hacked by Russia.” Yet miraculously, the 2020 election became far more trustworthy under the man they called “literally Hitler,” Donald Trump.
Now, after the triumph of a safe and reliable election that included $400 million in Zuck Bucks to local election offices, unprecedented mail-in balloting, widespread ballot drop-boxes, and changes to election laws nationwide, elections have become less secure.
It gets even more ridiculous.
Our sister site Twitchy reports that ABC News warns of a “red mirage” on Election Day. That means that we aren’t supposed to believe that Republicans won elections based on the votes cast today, we have to wait for the — you guessed it — Mystical Magical Mail-In Ballots to appear out of the ether.
The good news is that the citizens of this great Republic are so disgusted with the wrecking ball that President LOLEightyonemillion, Granny Boxwine, and Chuckles Schumer have taken to the country that even the vaunted Democrat Fraud Machine probably can’t save them.
For now, anyway.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
I’ve been a bit under the weather since last Wednesday and haven’t kept up with the emails as well as I should have. Today’s Mailbag will be a quick one, but we may do an extra one this week after I’ve finally woken up. I’m sure there will be PLENTY to talk about.
We’ll start with this note from Terry:
Good Morning MR. Kruiser,
I have a couple of suggestions for names to be used that fits your always enjoyable second sentence.
Actually two from the Greeks that may apply.
Today’s Anacoluthon – strictly speaking, that applies to a sentence. However, the change in the paragraph fits well.
I also like Today’s Hyperbaton. This fits well in the context of the first paragraph.
Yes, I do have too much time on my hands.
I’ve had a lot of suggestions for the second sentence branding and will be sharing some of them today. I’m rather fond of “Hyperbaton” already and am definitely going to find a way to use it if only to confuse people further.
Laura weighs in with this:
Dear Mr. Kruiser,
I think I’ve cracked the recipe of “The Second Line”: equal parts mad libs and predictive text from your phone and a generous schmear of secret sauce, not unlike the short-lived Hellmann’s Big H from the late 70s.
Am I close?
Anyway, love your daily takes and have subscribed to VIP.
Thanks for all of your efforts.
Clarifying: I don’t use predictive text from my phone for the second line (or anything, really), my brain is just not normal.
And it’s highly possible that it’s full of some sort of pickled mayonnaise.
Here’s Kevin’s suggestion:
Kruiser,
A suggestion for naming the second sentence of your Morning Briefing; “KMBThoughtblender”
Also, is your family name actually Kruiser? If so, that is incredibly cool.
My family name is actually Jeff.
Everything Isn’t Awful
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