The Morning Briefing: Oh God, Biden Is Going to Try and Use Words

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. I’m thinking of installing a champagne fountain in the yard for community relations.

I finally made it back from CPAC after some travel woes. I would like to thank Megan (who was not at CPAC) for pinch-hitting for me yesterday, which she was able to do because she wasn’t at CPAC.

Many have given their recaps of this year’s conference (except for Megan Fox, who was not there), so I’ll just say that my legendary immune system failed me and I felt off from the beginning of the event. Still, I feel that I accomplished a few things. Matt seemed to have learned a lot. I convinced him of the importance of balancing work and play, and he’s soon heading to a Tijuana donkey show to blog about Vladimir Putin’s tramp stamp.

Anyway, today is my birthday and I may have given myself a case of the Bat Flu as a present, so today’s Briefing is going to be, well, brief.

One important programming note: my friend and colleague VodkaPundit will be bringing back his legendary DrunkBlog for the State of the Union Address. I would like to thank him in advance for watching so I don’t have to. I don’t have the stomach to watch the drooling idiot Biden babble on about Corn Pop, and pandemics, and reasons. The guy can barely get through a five-sentence response to a simple question without eating his foot, I can’t watch him wrestle with a teleprompter.

Just check the top of our homepage when the speech starts to enjoy Mr. Green’s snark.

And, just in case he forgets to report it, Megan Fox wasn’t at CPAC.

Everything Isn’t Awful

GOOD NEWS ALERT:

In 2012, NFL center Jason Brown retired from football, learnt how to farm, and starting growing his own food.

Today, he has given away 1.6 million meals to food banks and soup kitchens.#Humanity 🌎🏈 pic.twitter.com/QljSO0qDv2

— Goodable (@Goodable) February 28, 2022

Smells Like Onion

Landing is one of the most expensive aspects of the flight process, as it takes several highly specialized professionals to accomplish, so some airlines are skipping it altogether. https://t.co/aoS0x3WtRp

— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 1, 2022