The Light at the End of the Quarantine Tunnel May Still Be a Train Full of Tyrants
One of the more frequent themes of shutdown humor has been our inability to discern time and dates much anymore. We are in the fifth week of a calendar blur that at times has seemed as if it might never end. I know, I know, that’s not a very long time but, let’s admit it, most of us are a little spoiled when it comes to having undergone shared national hardships.
The time fog has begun to thin this week as we approach April 30, the current date on the books for when we are at least to begin exploring a return to the Land of Normal.
As most of you are aware, I have been erring on the side of “we’re screwed for the rest of the year” for the most part. Still, even I have begun to indulge a little thinking about what life on the other side might be like. In my Tuesday column, I even ran through a post-quarantine wish list. I’m not really sure that this slight case of newfound optimism is going to stick.
The chatter about “reopening” is ticking up, however, and while nothing definitive is in the works, it’s at least happening.
From the beginning of all of this, I have been going on about just wanting to hear government officials offer even a loose outline of an endgame plan. I’ve frequently written that I would at the very least like to see some metrics in place. To my surprise, California Governor Gavin Newsom offered some, which Kira wrote about at RedState yesterday.
I don’t agree with my friend that what Newsom outlined was “creepy,” although I do think much of it was rather vague.
Yet I find myself still in the throes of this “glass half-full” fever and am satisfied that California’s dictator made the effort.
The Washington Post reported that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, along with FEMA, is drafting a blueprint for a phased-in re-opening of the American economy, and President Trump wants something soon so he can make recommendations to some states. Schools and daycares are at the top of the list concerning the first phase of re-openings but stressed that some areas might have to wait longer until a vaccine or some level of communal immunity is reached. The CDC also wants a “COVID-19 Response Corps” to assist state and local health officials to keep tabs on the virus.
Schools and daycares are at the top of the list? I guess everyone is sick of their kids already. Back to the indoctrination mills they go, mommy needs a martini.
The president would like to have some states be able to swing the doors open on May 1, which is encouraging.
If we’re lucky, he’ll keep California and New York closed for a couple of years.
I kid. Maybe.
That’s what the president wants though. Dr. Fauci is throwing cold water on the idea, however, saying that “we’re not there yet.”
Reiterating: it’s encouraging that officials at all levels are talking about making something happen when May 1st arrives.
The American public is getting restless. We’re being safe and it’s working, but most of the country is moving into the time of year when they really want to get out of the house. Here in the desert, the opposite is approaching. The sun will soon be enforcing a “stay-at-home” order here.
A complete unfettering might not be possible at the beginning of next month, but it would be a relief to most if we could see movement toward an end date and a reopening, however small that movement may be.
Heck, I don’t care if it all doesn’t happen on May 1st.
No May Day parades for the commies if we’re still shut down.
Oh, here is one of my favorite quarantine jokes about time:
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Sums It Up Quite Well
"I'm proud to endorse Joe Biden after Bernie Sanders and everyone else did, and at a time when it won't impact any votes, and also everyone is focused on coronavirus. Proud!" https://t.co/3hoW5ZRS32
— Steve Robinson (@BigSteve207) April 14, 2020
It should be obvious to everyone that the Lightbringer wanted no part in actually advancing der Bidengaffer’s candidacy. If he did, he would have made this endorsement around the time of the New Hampshire primary. Every Dem knows that they’ve got a real problem of a candidate on their hands, which is why most of them aren’t even hiding the fact that they’re cheering for the virus to continue tanking the economy.
On Wednesdays, We Double the Steves
It’s that time again. VodkaPundit Stephen Green and I will be getting together with our VIP Gold subscribers for an AMA live chat. These things are really fun. I have never lied to you.
From the Mothership and Beyond
Not the baseball news I wanted.
— Reductress (@Reductress) April 14, 2020
Street Art by Hopare pic.twitter.com/Xs93Pz3zib
— Street Art Magic (@streetartmagic) April 15, 2020
It was very rare for Carson to invite a comic over to the desk after his or her first set on the show.
I see enchiladas in my dreams now.
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”