Top O' the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The Garden of Camembert Delights will begin seating as soon as every attendee has successfully navigated the Maze of Emotional Recompense. 

It would be just grand if I could promise that I won't write about John Thune next week. I don't make the news, though, I just sound off on it five days a week. For all the wrong reasons (except in his mind), Thune keeps popping up in post-election stories. 

Before we get to Senate GOP's village idiot, there is something happening on the other side of the aisle that really illustrates just how stupid the Thune affair is. This is from my Townhall colleague Cameron Arcand:

Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) is running against Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer for majority leader.

“In this election, Americans called on us to unrig an economy rigged against working people & fueled by political corruption,” Van Hollen posted to X on Thursday night. He gained national attention for meeting with Kilmar Abrego Garcia in El Salvador.

“To deliver, we need new leadership. This isn't about any one person – it’s about answering that call,” he wrote. “That's why I’m running for Senate Majority Leader.”

Let's all wrap our heads around that. The Democrats won the election and they're having a contested leadership fight in the Senate. Gosh, it's almost like one party is more serious than the other about prevailing in this existential battle for the future of the United States. 

Thune hit Fox News for an interview with Brett Baier and, once again, he didn't sound terribly upset about the election. He is also remarkably bad at making excuses. Given how long he's been in office, one would expect him to be much better. 

After Thune called a meeting with his Republican colleagues in the Senate, Baier asked him what they told him he might have gotten wrong. Thune's response is a real blood-boiler: "Well, I don't know that they necessarily told me anything I got wrong."

Eric wrote a detailed, choice response to that here.

My friend and colleague Matt Vespa also covered the interview. His post has a video clip of Thune rambling on about talking to independent voters. He makes it obvious that he won't prioritize what Republican voters want, which has been the real problem with him all along. 

There is still a little time for Senate Republicans to do something that could actually help the GOP and be good for the country when the New Dem Order takes over, like get to the backlog of President Trump's nominees. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy addressed that and, ever the poet, he had some sage words for his do-nothing colleagues. This is from Matt:

Recalling something he'd read that morning, Kennedy offered his colleagues some colorful advice. "A smart man washes his hands after he urinates. A wise man doesn't urinate on his hands,” he said. “We need to stop urinating on our hands.”

John Thune is the one doing most of the, well, you know, on everyone else's hands. Let's hope he's not too busy sucking up to independent randos to heed Kennedy's advice. 

Let the Sine Qua Non Sequitur wash away the Blue Wave blues. Take a trip through the nonsensical with, Jodhpurs in the Bundt Pan: A Sine Non Sequitur Journey. It's a compilation of our daily date with absurdity. There's also the SQNS origin story and some bonus material. It's fun, it's a healthy distraction, and it pairs well with the adult beverage of your choice.

Contributions to the Mailbag of Magnificence can be sent to [email protected]

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The Mailbag of Magnificence

A couple of quick ones today, then we move on to the weekend. Roger R. referring to my line about the "Great Blue Shift Electoral Slaughter of 2026" here:

Kruiser, is it wrong I actually did laugh out loud over this from the MB? IDK but the MB is currently my most frequent go to piece since the drubbing we took, I still want to pull the covers over my head rather than read a lot of what I normally went to before our drubbing. So thanks for making me laugh, I think I may actually be alright in a few weeks time, not sure about the country however. Thanks for always being out there. GBSES-2026 Never Forget

The Morning Briefing will always be a safe space for conservatives who have high regard for dark humor and day drinking as coping mechanisms. In the immortal words of the late, great Jimmy Buffett: "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane." Let's just try to keep laughing here. I can be insane for everyone. 

OG FOTB Brice takes us outta here:

"I feel that we're headed for some messy and geographically inconvenient Balkanization. I'll have a column on that soon." Townhall's Kurt Schlichter has written extensively about this in his columns. If it happens it won't be pretty but the left insists on taking policies that have destroyed previously awesome states like California and Colorado national. The only thing socialism creates is class warfare with the end result always the same... equality through everyone except the elite being equally miserable. Ask any Venezuelan in the US (with the exception of the Bovine-American Ana Navarro) how it worked for them.

 I am always mildly amused when people mention Schlichter in an email in a way that makes it seem as if I am unfamiliar with him or his work. Seriously, how many times have any of you imbibed so much of his wine that you ended up spending the night on his couch? Worry not, I'd already given him a shout and a plug in the column. I once shared a story about a Venezuelan kid who worked at my hangout bar in Los Angeles. It's too long for the Mailbag but, trust me, it was heart-wrenching. I'm sure it will come up again, given all that we're facing. 

Thanks to all who kept in touch this week and have a great weekend, everyone!

Everything Isn't Awful

PJ Media

Me. My Balkanization Plans Are Much Clearer After Last Week

VodkaPundit. Jensen Huang Had to Go. The Real Question Is: Cui Bono?

Sen. Kennedy Warns the GOP to Stop ‘Urinating on Our Hands’ Before the Dems Take Over

Expert Warns Dems Are ‘Exhuming the Corpse’ of Climate Alarmism

The NCAA Revealed an Ugly Truth About the Transfer Portal

Trump: No Iran Deal, Vance Off Foreign Policy to Focus on Domestic Corruption

Greta Thunberg Laughs at Climate Protesters Following in Her Footsteps

Josh Shapiro: Electoral College, Schmelectoral College!

Um, everything? Thune: 'What Could We Have Done Differently?' Glad You Asked, Senator.

What Did He Know? Top Democrat Faces Questions Over Timing of Nvidia Stock Sale.

Democrats Are Already Drunk With Power, and They Don't Even Have It Yet

👉144 Nations Back Iran at the UN. Kick the UN Out of America.

The Jumping Corpse of Calaveras County: Dead for Months, He's Winning a Race for County Supervisor

Let's Eat! Hog Heaven

Townhall Mothership

Schlichter. Red State GOP Organizations Need to Get Their Act Together

It’s Official: Chuck Schumer Has Serious Competition for Top Job

Nayib Bukele Took a Break From Airstriking Haitian Gangs to Nuke Amnesty International From Orbit

John Thune, I'm Not Sure That's Going to Resonate With the Base

Guns Aren't the Problem. It's People Like This Who Are.

Cam&Co. New Jersey 'Red Flag' Law Disarms Victim of Domestic Abuse

Could Pro-Gun Alaska See Texas-Like Deluge of Gun Control Bills?

Your city on Democrats. LAX People Mover Moves Deeper Into Junk-Bond Status

That Was Quick: DEI Back on the Texas Agenda

Democrats Won the Election but They're Still Losing the Ballroom Battle

Movie Review: Jim Caviezel’s 'Ghost Soldier' Hero Smashes Corporate Greed and the Critics Hate It

Colorado Democrat Places Ad for Internship, and the 'Requirements' Are Highly Questionable

Tackling the Dumb 'Dummymander' Narrative Emerging About North Carolina

The Media Thought They Had a 'Gotcha' — Then Pete Hegseth Showed Them What Leadership Looks Like

Rep. Robert Garcia Reads the Dems' Lawfare Hit List (Compare That to CNN's Chyron)

CHUTZPAH: Obama's Wingman Thinks the DOJ Needs to Restore Its Reputation As a 'Neutral Body'

VIP

VodkaPundit, Part Deux. Thursday Essay: Slipping Off America's Leash

The Great Replacement Chronicles: Making the Globo-Home Race Communism Omelet

My Grandmother Would Have a Heart Attack If She Saw the Mess We've Made in Space

Elitism on Wings: Climate Hypocrites Fly More Jets Than Ever to Woke Conference

Joe Biden's Presidential Memoir Is Going to Be an Orwellian Mess

The Public Health™ Totalitarians: Back in the Saddle and Riding Hard

America 250: 'Molly Pitcher,' the Revolutionary Woman Offered a Soldier's Pension

Around the Interwebz

👏👏👏Letterkenny is hitting the road

The amazing disappearing exoplanet

The Defining Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon of Every Decade

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

These two made sense for going into the weekend. As Slade sings, "I don't know why."

Weekend Bonus


POTUS Press Today

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
11/12/26
 

WEEKEND GUIDANCE AND PRESS SCHEDULE FOR
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13 - SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2026

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2026

In-Town Pool
TV Corr & Crew: ABC
Secondary TV Corr: EWTN
Photos: AP, AFP, NYT, Reuters, Getty
Secondary Print: Washington Examiner
Radio: AURN
New Media: Lila Rose Show

EST:
9:00 AM                                                   In-Town Pool Call Time

8:00 AM                                                   THE PRESIDENT participates in Executive Time

The White House
Closed Press


12:30 PM                                                  THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
Oval Office
Closed Press

3:00 PM                                                    THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
Oval Office
Closed Press

4:00 PM                                                      THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
Oval Office
Closed Press

4:30 PM                                                     THE PRESIDENT participates in a Policy Meeting
Oval Office
Closed Press

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2026

In-Town Pool
TV Corr & Crew:  CBS
Secondary TV: Telemundo
Photos: AP, AFP, NYT, Reuters, Getty
Print: RealClearPolitics
Secondary Print: LA Times
Radio: ABC
New Media: The Spectator

EST:
8:30 AM                                                  In-Town Pool Call Time

8:00 AM                                                  THE PRESIDENT participates in Executive Time
The White House
Closed Press

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2026

In-Town Pool
TV Corr & Crew: CNN
Secondary TV Corr: Spectrum
Photos: AP, AFP, NYT, Reuters, Getty
Print: Regional Reporters
Secondary Print: Daily Caller
Radio: AP
New Media: The Blaze Media

EST:
8:00 AM                                                 In-Town Pool Call Time

8:00 AM                                                  THE PRESIDENT participates in Executive Time
The White House
Closed Press