The Morning Briefing: Get Ready for an Onslaught of Saint Romney Hot Takes From the Dems

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Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Shellebryn and her service chinchilla were often seen gallivanting far too close to the Tilt-A-Whirl.


Programming Note: I will be traveling back to my native Sonoran Desert after my month-long Michigan “workcation,” and my esteemed colleague Chris Queen will be covering tomorrow’s Briefing.

For far too long now, the Republican Party has been plagued by members who seem to delight in being at cross purposes with it when they’re needed most. Many refer to them as RINOs; I prefer the term squish, because I think that adequately describes the invertebrate nature of these people. Not all of the squishes begin their careers that way, but most do.

Mitt Romney is a squish who has been a blight on the GOP for a good chunk of the 20th century now. On Wednesday, conservative Americans received the wonderful news that Mittens would soon be exiting the political stage. Kevin covered it for us:

Neocon Sen. Mitt Romney (?-Utah) announced today that he blessedly won’t seek reelection in 2024, citing his age as his reason to exit stage left.

“I have spent my last 25 years in public service of one kind or another,” Romney announced in a statement. “At the end of another term, I’d be in my mid-eighties. Frankly, it’s time for a new generation of leaders. They’re the ones that need to make the decisions that will shape the world they will be living in.”

The iconic quisling decided to take a shot at both President Trump and *President Gropey Joe Biden on his way out.

While it’s fun to see Romney engage in a little age trolling of the frontrunners for next year’s presidential election, I’d put money on the fact that his age wasn’t the primary factor in his decision to drop out.

Rumors of Utah voters’ increasing dissatisfaction with Romney have been steadily growing for a while, and his ability to win a second term is highly in question. He’s not too old to easily read the writing on the wall. Incumbent senators are easiest to pick off at the end of their first terms and Romney knows he’s vulnerable.


Romney’s squishy ways were to be expected. Although born in Michigan, he came to political prominence as the Governor of Massachusetts. I’ve said for years that northeastern Republicans are essentially Democrats from 1975. Conservative Republicans don’t win a lot of elections in that part of the country. The most recent Republican governor of the Bay State — Charlie Baker — would have made a fine moderate Democrat in Congress in the not-too-distant past.

Romney may be representing a southwestern state in the Senate, but he’s a carpetbagger who will probably flee back to the East Coast by the end of January 2025.

The junior senator from Utah has reached a point in his career where many Republicans loathe him. He still has some fans among the avowed Trump-haters, but most of us wish we could have our 2012 votes for him back. If a “Most Regrettable Presidential Vote Ever” award existed, Romney would be its first recipient.

As soon as I saw the news that Mitt the Squish was bowing out, I knew what was coming next:

They are going to dust off stories from 2018 that they wrote about my former senator in Arizona, Jeff Flake, and rework them for Romney.

One of Romney’s most obnoxious traits was that he spent so much of his time in the Senate slobbering all over the backsides of the media leftists who savaged him when he ran for president. The late John McCain must have left behind a “How to Make the New York Times Love You” manual that laid out how to kowtow to people who still actually hate you anyway.

It didn’t take long for the lefties to start proving me right. Here’s CNN mouthpiece and former Obama flack, David Axelrod:


In this case, “decency” means “He danced for us when we wanted him to and stabbed his party in the back.”

Axelrod, by the way, was the chief architect of the Obama campaign that portrayed Romney as a sexist animal abuser who gave a woman cancer.

We will be peppered with variations on this theme for a week or two. Democrats and their flying monkeys in the mainstream media love to heap praise on Republicans who badmouth Donald Trump and are no longer in politics. George W. Bush went from being “Bushitler” to a “decent” man once he was out of the way and grousing about Trump. It’s disgusting to watch these Republicans grovel for a pat on the head from the same people who spent years trying to destroy them.

Mitt Romney will not be missed by liberty-loving conservatives.

And I would still like to have that 2012 vote back.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

This was a very thoughtful response from hardcore Trump fan Wanda with the subject line “Escalator MAGA explainer (I hope).” It was in response to this column that I wrote at the beginning of the month:

I am a highly rational, jaded as hell, 58-year-old voter. And I want you to understand why I will vote Trump, or not vote for President at all. I honestly might just give up and never vote again, having voted in every election I was ever allowed to for forty years. And I’ve voted for Democrats and Republicans. I’m not an ideologue; I’m a pragmatist. I voted for Bill Clinton because I thought he was better for the economy (I know better now).


I’ve seen a lot in my time. And mostly what I’ve seen is that there is a monolith in Washington, D.C. that runs the country as its own combination of playground and wallet. They ALL go there and get rich, no matter whether the country is headed for prosperity or the ditch. It makes no difference to the political class, and that includes Democrats and Republicans alike. It’s a big club, and we ain’t in it, as George Carlin said.

The observation of us peons out here in the hinterlands is that every one of the people running against Trump this time are in the Club. The club they use to beat on us. They are the Rich Men North of Richmond, or they really, really want to be. And this time, I’m just not having it.

Thank you for that, Wanda. Honestly, I agree with a lot of what you wrote. What I strongly disagree with is the notion that Ron DeSantis is some sort of establishment Swamp creature. There’s just nothing to bear that out. For the past three years, DeSantis has consistently given the finger to the powers that be on both sides of the aisle. Trump was still president and the evil Fauci’s most powerful enabler when DeSantis opened up Florida in 2020. I know that a lot of the Trump faithful have been trying to rewrite that story, but the receipts are easy to bring on this one.

The way DeSantis stood up to Disney kicked off what is now becoming more successful pushback to the woke plague. That Trump (and Nikki Haley) chided him for that made me a little distrustful of both of them.

This is from Jim in San Diego:

Greetings, Kruiser, and keep up the good work and the non sequiturs. Mao Lujan Grisham’s stunt reminds me of signs we see here in San Diego. As you drive south toward the international border on either I-5 or I-805 you are reminded by signs saying (to the effect) Notice: Guns/Ammo are illegal in Mexico.

That’s right! Mexico has no 2A and gun control legislation! Clearly, the place must be a paradise of tranquilidad – right.


But Mao knows, political power grows out of the barrel of a gun, so the peasants must be disarmed at all costs.

Yes, using leftist gun logic, THERE IS NO GUN VIOLENCE IN MEXICO.

Say that fast three times in Tijuana and you’ll probably have to duck a bullet.

We will finish with this from Robert, because he’s on my side:

English majors, if they still exist, may believe I’m an ignorant, old engineer, but “Everything is not awful” is perfectly clear to me. Keep on fighting the English Karens. (I used to read National Review when Buckley was still around and was amazed by the complexity of the English language often discussed by Bill and readers who objected to the magazine’s English usage.)

THANK YOU, Robert. People will always nitpick, even over things like the heading for goofy pics of animals. I appreciate that you’re not letting that ruin your enjoyment of the section.

Thanks for the emails and I will “see” you all next week!

Everything Isn’t Awful

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