The Morning Briefing: Can Joe Biden Survive a Battle With...Joe Biden?

(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)
Joe Biden Is His Own Toughest Opponent

Joe Biden hasn’t put together three coherent sentences since he announced his run for president, yet he is apparently leading all of the presidential polls at the moment. We can cast aspersions on the validity of the polls and the choice-making of the American electorate at a later date. Today we’re going to speculate about Crazy Joe the Wonder Veep’s eventual return to the campaign trail, however socially-distanced it may be.


That Biden is the Democrats’ presumptive nominee is truly remarkable when you think about it. He’s all but abandoned his native tongue. He had one mediocre debate performance while the rest ranged from awful to disastrous. He’s off-script more than Robin Williams during his peak cocaine years on Mork and Mindy, yet everyone over on that side keeps giving him a pass.

As many have noted, this pandemic shutdown has been a boon for Biden and is probably the reason he’s doing well in the polls. Time away from the public eye has been Biden’s friend, train-wreck video appearances notwithstanding.

My latest “Democrats want the shutdown to continue” theory doesn’t have to do with tanking the economy, which I still believe is their primary objective. I believe their secondary objective is to leave as little time as possible between the return of the candidates to the campaign trail and the election. Biden is barely able to navigate the tightly scripted affairs that his handlers have him doing from his basement, they’re petrified of the thought of him being out in the wild, off-leash, and babbling.


Former Vice President Joe Biden, left, and Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., right, greet one another before they participate in a Democratic presidential primary debate at CNN Studios in Washington, Sunday, March 15, 2020. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

So, the longer Democratic governors can keep things at least in partial shutdown, the more the economy tanks and hurts Trump and the more reason Team Biden has to keep their guy away from cameras where he might eat a booger or sniff a stranger.


I’ll admit, this is the first presidential election since 1984 where I was looking forward to the general election debates. The thought of seeing Trump’s extemporaneous wizardry going head-to-head with Biden’s word salad factory will probably come off as something more akin to British comedy than American political theater. Must-see TV for sure.

There is little doubt that Biden’s biggest gaffe is just waiting for his grand return to campaigning in public. You know it, I know it, and his handlers all have bleeding ulcers because they know it better than anyone. Once he is back out in public, Joe Biden becomes the greatest weapon against Joe Biden. President Trump could go on autopilot and win the election.

Joe Biden is a classic example of a guy who can’t get out of his own way and the Republicans would love to put him in his way very soon. Expect President Trump to taunt him more about getting out as the summer wears on if they still have Joe locked in the basement. That could have some high entertainment value too.


Vice President Joe Biden, participates in a Democratic presidential primary debate at CNN Studios, Sunday, March 15, 2020, in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

This weird year is only going to get weirder as we get closer to the election. Biden may be leading in the polls right now but everyone who is being honest with themselves knows that his only real chance of winning is having this pandemic drama shield him from having to be himself in public.


OK, Biden is being honest with himself right now, but all he knows is that he wants a white pony and his foot doesn’t taste as good as he thought it would.

Um, They Can Get Free Booze, Food, and Money by Dating Any Men

I Become a Bigger Fan of Hers Every Week

PJM Linktank

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The Kruiser Kabana Episode 40: Memorial Day Recap and My Mask Rant

Who Pooped Joe Biden’s Pants?

The Shocking Influence of Politics on Mental Health and Social Distancing Perceptions

VIP Gold

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Picking and Choosing What Is Racist Makes Racist Outrage Completely Meaningless

From the Mothership and Beyond

Schlichter: This Election Is Republicans v. China – Oops, I Mean Democrats

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I desperately argue to ignore WaPoWaPo Editors Desperately Argue For SCOTUS To Ignore 2A Cases

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The ‘Fact-Checking’ Mess Twitter Has Created For Itself

CDC Changes Its Tune About Antibody Testing

Dave Rubin Exposes the Left’s Hostility Toward Free Speech in New Book

Did You Read Pew Research’s Messy COVID Death Count Study Between Dem and Republican Counties

Joe Biden Oddly Rants That He’ll Break a Law Democrats Relentlessly Accused Republicans of Breaking          

Ric Grenell Eviscerates Crazy Fake News Claim About What His Next Position Will Be

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Kira Davis: Would the World Be Safer If Women Ran Everything? LOL…No.

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Curiouser and curiouser…Today’s Hot Question: When Will Ratcliffe Release Transcripts At Heart Of The Flynn Prosecution?

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Why Are Democrats Fighting The Revival Of The US Nuclear Industry?

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Arizona sues Google over claims it illegally tracked location of Android users 

Coronavirus lockdowns mean bad business for drug dealers, too

Las Vegas Coming Back To Life, As State Approves UFC Events, Boxing Matches And Casinos For Reopening Dates

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The Kruiser Kabana

Had this doing earworm duty for a bit yesterday.

No, I don’t think Fernando hears the drums.


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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear every Tuesday and Friday.


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