News & Politics

Skate Or Die: Skaters Send Message to Government Agents Who Filled Their Parks With Sand

A protester carries a sign during a rally against Michigan's coronavirus stay-at-home order at the State Capitol in Lansing, Mich., Thursday, May 14, 2020. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

Of all the people to pick on, skateboarders are a poor choice. It’s kind of like picking a fight with 4chan (and a bunch of skaters probably are 4chan anons) that always ends in extreme embarrassment for whoever decided it was a good idea to poke a bear. That’s exactly what happened when a bunch of municipalities in different places decided it was a good idea to put sand in the skate parks to keep the kids off them.

Skaters will lead the way.

This did not stop the skaters from discovering new ways to use the parks. PJ Media previously reported that they turned the sand hills into dirt bike tracks.

But now the skaters want their ramps back and they’re not waiting for government permission.

The city of Pittsburgh also found out that stopping the skaters is a useless energy-wasting activity after filling in their skate parks with sand. Earlier in May, it was only hours after the city vandalized the skate park with sand that City Hall found its own revolving door blocked with….wait for it…sand.

The public works director just didn’t understand why the skaters these days don’t listen.

Pittsburgh Department of Public Works Director Mike Gable said they locked up the park, but people cut the locks to gather at the park.

“We don’t take any pride or pleasure in doing this,” Gable said on Thursday. “The park is closed and we kept the gate locked, but they cut the lock or the chain or they hopped over the fence. People have to listen to what the directive is and the directive is social distancing.”

Americans really don’t like directives that infringe on our liberties to the degree that these lockdowns have done. And if there’s one group that won’t take it lying down, it’s the skaters. Who could have guessed that it would be the skaters to show us the way out of this mess? My only piece of advice for them is: Next time, get a dump truck and fill it with the sand and take that to city hall. It’s going to have to be a painful cleanup for them to get the message.

Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo,” and host of The Fringe podcast. Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter

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