My Long J6 Nightmare Is Finally Over (I Hope)

FACT-O-RAMA! This article is not an admission of guilt. It is meant for entertainment purposes only. Names have been changed because that's what they did on those old Quinn Martin production shows, and Mannix would never lead me astray.

If I were to write a fiction book about Jan. 6, 2021, and I urge you to consider this fiction, it might look like this...

In May 2021, My fiancée and I were driving to a comedy gig when I (allegedly) got a phone call from a Manhattan area code. The number wasn't saved in my phone, and I typically don't answer calls I don't recognize, but I thought it might be a comedy club booker in Manhattan calling me for a gig.

I said hello and heard the following,

"Is this Kevin Downey Jr.?" It (allegedly) was.

"This is Special Agent Beria of the FBI. We want to discuss the events of January 6 with you. We know you were there, and we know you were not violent. You are not in any trouble. We just want to talk to you about what you may have seen. Can you tell me where you are so that we can have a talk?"

Just as I thought I might vomit, I got a text from my neighbor saying, "Dude, the F***ING FBI is here asking people about you!!!!"

I truthfully told the agent that I was on my way to Delaware for a comedy show. He asked if my fiancée, whom I will call Blessica, was with me, and I told him she was. I said I would be happy to meet with him on Sunday. He said Monday would be fine.

At this point, Blessica, who could hear the conversation, began screaming, "The F*CK you will!! HANG UP!"

Neither of us would get a good night's sleep until the night of Inauguration Day 2025.

FACT-O-RAMA! I remembered a conversation with a retired Detroit cop I've known for decades, who told me, "When the cops say 'You're not in any trouble, we just want to talk to you,' you're in trouble. Clam up." He is correct.

As a good little Catholic boy who has never been in legal trouble, I didn't know a lawyer I could call. Another cop friend recommended one, but he lived in a town three hours away.

FACT-O-RAMA! The FBI knew by August of 2021 that there was very little to suggest that the mostly peaceful protest on January 6 was an organized "insurrection" but continued hunting J6ers anyway.

The lawyer called the agent back and told him I had nothing to say and that they should contact him in the future. I heard nothing more until...

SSSS

In June of 2022, I went to the airport to catch a flight for a gig in Indianapolis. The self-check-in kiosk wouldn't give me a boarding pass. It flashed a message directing me to speak with an agent.

The woman I spoke to jumped on her computer and was informed she would have to make a phone call to check me in. That call lasted roughly 20 minutes, during which she said aloud several times, "I have never seen anything like this." Then her face turned ghostly pale, and she squeaked, "Wait here sir," and then briskly walked away, looking terrified.

That's when two muscley TSA bomb squad members showed up.

They pulled me aside and emptied my bags.

A gunpowder swab inside my groovy, vintage Wallstreeter briefcase came back positive (my dad had used this case to store his firearm occasionally). Then, more cops showed up.

Long story short, I was on the dreaded SSSS list, which meant I was to get all but probed because the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) decided I was a greater security risk. I had a feeling I knew why.

So Capitol Police removed the barricades???
Looks almost like a Welcoming Party, doesn’t it?
🔥Can you say, “Staged?”
Of course, we always knew it‼️

pic.twitter.com/OywcXajmVZ
— 🌴♥️🇺🇸Dixie ♥️s America & Trump🇺🇸♥️🌴 (@DixiDarlen) February 22, 2023

One week later Blessica and I flew to Vegas for a gig, and we got the same treatment. They even re-screened us at layovers.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I've been working Las Vegas, which is Mecca for comedians, for decades but never as a "headliner." This was my first time closing out a show. I was thrilled. Most Vegas casinos keep their shows brief (because they prefer you are on the floor gambling), but this contract required I do a full hour, so I was also a little nervous about this gig.

Friday's show went off without a hitch. But because it was my first time closing in Vegas, and I had to do an hour, it was the scariest non-televised show I'd ever done. Then came Saturday's show.

At around noon Vegas time, I received three calls in a row from the Washington, D.C., area code that I didn't recognize. I decided to answer the fourth call.

"Hey, Mr. Downey, this is Ryan Reilly. I'm a reporter for NBC. Do you have any comments about the article I am about to post regarding your actions on January 6?"

I believe I (allegedly) responded with something clever like "Oh." Then hung up.

He texted me asking for a comment. He mentioned there is a video.

Capitol Police opened the doors & the #FBI helped! #J6Committee pic.twitter.com/PhjqYNB3sv
— Zach (@GenDeplorable11) January 6, 2023

Twenty minutes later, the article was up. Ryan J. Reilly wrote the following at NBC:

Kevin Downey Jr. was one of the highest-profile participants to have entered the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6; he appeared on “America’s Got Talent” on NBC in 2013 and was one of the men made over by the original Fab Five on Bravo’s “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” in 2004. He also released at least one DVD special, “I’m Not Gay, but Don’t Stop,” in 2008. More recently, Downey has taken a turn as a pro-Trump commentator, writing for the right-wing website PJ Media and describing himself on Twitter as Kevin “Ultra MAGA” Downey Jr.

Judging by the tone of his article, it would seem Reilly is not a fan of mine.

The article mentions I was busted by "online sleuths" called "Sedition Hunters." How did they get video coverage from inside the Capitol? Did the FBI give it to them, or are they staffed by the FBI?

FACT-ORAMA! I had no idea that old, dusty TV credits made me one of the "highest-profile" people in Washington, D.C. (allegedly) on January 6.

Then Reilly began tweeting to the casino where I was working, with things like, "Why would the @CasinoIwontname hire a domestic terrorist?" Zhe also tried to round up the local Antifa prags to rough me up.

"Hey, it sure would be nice if folks showed up at @kevindowneyjr's show at the @CasinoIwontname at 8:00 pm to show him how we feel about insurrectionists and domestic terrorists. My DMs are open!" Zhe kept up the attacks all day. I can only assume the salad-dodging Reilly doesn't like me because I write for PJ Media.

In my Twitter bio, I posted, "My pronouns are 'Aunt Jemima/Master Bedroom'" to mock the commies who had "bravely" canceled one of America's favorite pancake syrups. Reilly naturally used this to call me a "racist" as he continued with his boring, day-long Twitter attack on me.

Every Marxist institution shared the story about the "high profile" J6er and his mysterious, unnamed finance. Two friends I'll call the Panda Family began calling us "Famous Kevin" and "MAGA slam piece."

FACT-O-RAMA! Reilly'sTwitter/X account is now locked. Only people who follow Reilly can read his tweets. It also appears he, like the rest of the filthy Marxists stains on Twitter have gone on to the Bluesky app.

I then (allegedly) contacted my wonderful friend, whom I will call "Steven Cruzer." He and Blessica contacted Twitter to have those threats taken down, which Twitter did.

But the animals were hungry. I was inundated with threats of violence, invitations to kill myself, and various other taunts.

"Who is gonna f**k your insurrectionist pig GF while you are getting raped in prison you f***ing traitor? Maybe a bunch of us. Tell your MAGA c**t to sleep with the lights on." Communists have a way with words.

SLAM-O-RAMA! Based on the pile of threats and taunts I received, it would seem that leftist prags are hyper-focused on prison rape.

So, on Saturday night, I had to do an hour-long show in Vegas with the potential of having to scrap with Antifa before, during, or after the show. Good times!

I had no personal defense weapons with me in Vegas as I had a hunch I was going to get the SSSS search-and-probe treatment again, which we did.

FACT-O-RAMA! If you want to attack me, please do it in the Midwest. That is all I will say.

It appears that either no one cared about Reilly's day-long Twitter fit or that Antifa can't afford a $30 ticket to a comedy show. I finished the gig, and Blessica and I went to hide at a Project Veritas party down the block.

The next day, we went to the airport, terrified that the FBI would be waiting there to put "one of the highest-profile participants to have entered the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6" and his "unidentified fiancée" in leg irons and drag us to a gulag.

Days after getting back home, after not sleeping more than three hours per day, I (allegedly) received a phone call from a Long Island area code. I let it go to voicemail and received a message that said something like this: "Hello, Mr. Downey, this is NYPD Officer -------. I am working with the FBI's Domestic Terrorism Task Force. I'd like to speak with you about an NBC article that you may have seen by now. Please call me."

FACT-O-RAMA! When you hear things like "This is FBI Special Agent Beria" or "I am calling from the Domestic Terrorism Task Force," things briefly go blank. You can hear someone speaking but the words are foreign. You can see an example of this in "Breaking Bad" when Walter first learns he has cancer.

At this point, I gutted an old 401K to help cough up the $60k that Blessica and I would need for our two new lawyers.

My new lawyer called the NYPD officer working with the FBI and offered to deliver us whenever they wanted, believing this would negate the need for an early-morning raid.

Tim Kaine’s son stormed the MN capitol in an anti-Trump riot in 2017, set off explosive devices and tear gas, and fought the police. He didn’t do any jail time because his father is a Democrat Senator. https://t.co/n7m22AMm2r pic.twitter.com/CMDGSGJe5R
— Dr. Ben Braddock (@GraduatedBen) January 22, 2025

As all this was happening, the news was full of stories regarding the FBI kicking in the doors of J6ers in the early morning. I typically stayed up until 7 a.m. waiting for "the knock." I would drive around my neighborhood late at night, looking for cars full of FBI agents surveilling us. Once the sun was up, I could catch a little sleep.

The feculence in the Operation Mockingbird media skillfully whipped up dunces around the nation to hate and harangue everyone associated with January 6.

Peaceful J6ers like Matthew Perna were being persecuted by dumba** morons in their neighborhoods.

His life from that point turned into a nightmare. Perna was indicted by a grand jury in February 2021 on four counts including obstruction of an official proceeding and trespassing misdemeanors. Despite his nonviolent participation in the events of that day—he did not assault anyone, carry a weapon, or vandalize property—Biden’s Justice Department and local news media nonetheless made his life pure hell.
Whenever his hometown paper, the Sharon Herald, published an article on its social media account about Perna, the majority of replies were “horrible and brutal,” his aunt, Geri Perna, told me on the phone Sunday. After more than a year of legal and public torture, Perna saw no way out.
On Friday night, Matthew Perna hung himself in his garage.

He wasn't the only J6er to kill himself.

The FBI went after everyone who waved a flag in Washington, D.C., that day. Two friends who were there on Jan. 6 but didn't go near the Capitol were called or visited by the FBI.

A 56-year-old woman who taught piano got 30 days in a federal prison. An 81-year-old veteran was dragged through the process and given home detention and probation. MAGA meemaws were rounded up and prosecuted. At the same time, Antifa was allowed to skate after incurring over $2 billion worth of damages around the nation.

Comedy clubs canceled my bookings. Low-IQ quislings I had been friends with for decades suddenly decided I was a "domestic terrorist" and told me to "F*** ALL the WAY off!" on social media. Strangers threatened to come to my comedy shows to "deal with scumbag traitors" like me. No fewer than two comedians I was friends with reported me to the FBI.

People created fake Facebook profiles to harass and threaten me and threaten to rape my unnamed fiancée.

Most of my family didn't take issue with all this. Some found it a great way to make light-hearted fun of me, but one formerly close member, who didn't care that I had allegedly entered the Capitol, decided I was to be exiled on Main Street once the article came out.

A stranger in a bar I frequent came up to me once as I was wearing a MAGA hat and blurted out, "Hey, did you go into the Capitol?" I assumed that he was a fed and walked away. I never saw him in the bar again.

By 2023 the outrage began to wane. Thinking people began to realize that the nation was never threatened by middle-aged people "armed" with Trump flags and arrhythmias. A lawyer friend told us he heard that the DOJ and FBI were getting tired of chasing trespassing "terrorists."

Heroic FBI agents such as SWAT member Steve Friend asked why he was taken off child trafficking cases to raid the homes of trespassers and summarily lost his job.

The lefties' public rage toward J6ers was insane, but to normal people, we were considered harmless. Patriots called us "heroes" and a "part of history." Kind people offered us money, but we refused, as our lawyers had already been paid.

FRIEND-O-RAMA? A friend offered to throw us a fundraising comedy show but then backed out as she was afraid her lib friends would disown her.

In August 2023, my lawyer called to tell me that our case had been given to a federal prosecutor and to buy a suit for court if I didn't have one. My lawyer told the feds that we would surrender when the FBI wanted us.

Luckily, somehow, that day never came.

My suit! pic.twitter.com/vE060zsF4c
— The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show Mon- Fri. 9-11 am EST! (@KDJRadioShow) January 24, 2025

So What Allegedly Happened?

Allegedly, my "unidentified fiancée" and I were investigated but never charged for peacefully and patriotically walking to the Capitol after Trump's January 6 speech. We were allegedly near the back of the crowd and some of the last to arrive at the Capitol.

At one point, as we were walking toward the Capitol, we allegedly found ourselves walking past a parking lot that did not have a fence around it. I found that odd.

A woman and her 15-year-old daughter, who had come from a different direction, told people, "They are letting us in; we just have to remain peaceful," as they were excitedly showing selfies they had taken inside. The energy would have been patriotic and fun.

As we were allegedly standing peacefully outside the Capitol, and not very close to it, I recall thinking, "Wow, there must be 400,000 people here and no violence."

"We are WAY better than those animals in Antifa," I thought, allegedly.

I could see a mere seven people who looked like police standing at the Capitol. A protester spoke with one of them. Then the seven cops I could see walked away. The protester waved the crowd forward.

"They are letting us in!" someone yelled.

FACT-O-RAMA! We allegedly witnessed absolutely no violence whatsoever.

One can assume the crowd pressed forth to the Capitol. Finding ourselves at what I might assume was a side of the Capitol or the back — I have no idea — I am told I allegedly joined a line of people walking into the Capitol through a single open door. There "may" have been a police line about 25 feet down the hall, but not near the single door. If they didn't want us here, why not move the line up to the door? That mother-daughter team was correct: we were free to enter — allegedly — if we remained peaceful.

The unworkable "gallows" that libs thought Trumpers were going to use to "hang" Pence.
The FBI has still not "figured out" who brought it. pic.twitter.com/EUf3pdtE8W
— The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show Mon- Fri. 9-11 am EST! (@KDJRadioShow) January 24, 2025

There were allegedly hundreds of people peacefully milling about inside. If one wanted to press further into the Capitol, there was no way to do that. The police line was blocking any advancement.

I allegedly saw a guy wearing no shirt arguing with the cops. "Why would a guy take off his shirt in Washington, D.C., in January," I thought.

I am told, though I do not admit it, that we ducked into a little side room with a handful of middle-aged Americans, most of whom were taking selfies. We allegedly heard a man yell, "You pepper-sprayed me, but you didn't do anything against Antifa. I'm on your side!!!"

If you read Reilly's article about me, you will see a picture of a guy behind me wearing no shirt. He smelled like he might have been pepper-sprayed, but then again, I have no idea what pepper spray smells like. He hadn't been arrested, so I assumed whatever he did wasn't worth putting him in a pair of handcuffs.

If I were to write this fictitious book, I would add that I saw a copy of the Bill of Rights nailed to the wall and quipped, "How funny if we get pepper-blasted underneath a framed copy of the Bill of Rights." Everyone allegedly laughed, and someone asked that I repeat the joke so he could videotape it.

I allegedly first began to realize there may be more going on than I thought when the police line moved up and told us to leave. That's when I allegedly noticed one of them had a shotgun. Why a shotgun for a peaceful protest?

I was told that law enforcement believed I walked no further than 26 feet into the Capitol for about eight minutes and peacefully left when told to do so. If you watch the whole alleged video, you may see me allegedly thank the police for their service.

As we were allegedly milling around outside, a line of riot cops lined up. That's when Blessica said it seemed like a good time to bounce. No one could understand why the cops were in riot gear for the "Back the Blue" crowd. It was Antifa, who had previously burned Washington, D.C., with impunity twice, who wanted the police dead.

What Have I Learned?

Most Americans are smart enough to know that the Pravda press is corrupt and will show you what they want you to see, but the lite-thinkers, those most likely to be violent, believe what they are told to believe and will go so far as threatening rape against whomever they are told is bad.

I have also learned that there are vile communists in the DOJ, FBI, and the judicial system who will happily ruin the lives of peaceful people, including senior citizens, for nothing more than a paycheck and two weeks' vacation.

I learned that the best thing to do when people want you dead and your fiancée sexually assaulted is to hang out with patriots at places like the America First Warehouse.

Most importantly, I have learned that most Americans are good, strong-willed people who will have your back when your own government does not.

Blessica and I can not adequately thank those who were on our side. You know who you are.

Our friends are funnier than your friends. pic.twitter.com/9E8sSJ4jlu
— The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show Mon- Fri. 9-11 am EST! (@KDJRadioShow) January 22, 2025