The Morning Briefing: Maybe 2024 Will Give Us Some Third-Party Madness Just for Fun

(AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Alfonse left nothing to chance when choreographing his favorite “I Love Lucy” scenes with various action figures.

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Just a bit of end-of-the-week “Why not?” today. Be grateful that I’m not writing about Jason Aldean or Mitt Romney’s wieners.

We’re still approximately 1,700 months away from the 2024 United States presidential election. I may be exaggerating a bit, but I think most people feel me. I’ve written on a few occasions that this election cycle is either going to be the worst slog ever, or the most entertaining hot mess we have ever had to enjoy in American politics.

I’ve been leaning towards “slog” lately, but a bit of recent news is giving me hope for “hot mess.”

This is from something Kevin wrote yesterday:

A recent Quinnipiac University poll reveals that a statistically substantial number of Americans may have had it with our two-party system, with a whopping 47% stating they’d consider casting their vote for a third-party candidate. Another 47% claim they will only vote for either a Democrat or a Republican. Another 6% claimed they didn’t know if they’d consider a third-party vote.

Independents lead the charge by a margin of 64% to 30% claiming they would consider voting for a candidate not aligned with either of the two main political parties.

“With neither President Biden nor former President Trump knocking it out of the park on favorability, almost half of the country would consider another option,” Quinnipiac pollster Tim Malloy reported. “No specific name for the candidate, no specific designation for the party, but it is a vivid indication that for many voters, the status quo is a no-go.”

For a long time, I was dismissive of the independent factor in American elections. They now make up a voting bloc that’s been able to flex a lot more in recent elections, though. Here in Arizona, registered independents are about to outnumber both Republicans and Democrats. That they’re wound up enough to glance at a third-party candidate could throw a little fun into the 2024 mix.

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Third-party candidates, as we all know, exist to act as disruptors. Multiple third-party candidates could be very disruptive. As Kevin mentioned, Cornel West is already in as the Green Party candidate. Rumors of a Joe Manchin/No Labels Party romance have recently been floating around.

There has also been a lot of speculation about whether Robert F. Kennedy Jr. might run as an independent, especially if the Democrats keep treating him like a pariah.

That would make for a lot of disruptive distractions.

West, Manchin, and RFK Jr. would obviously create more problems for Joe Biden than the eventual Republican nominee. In fact, even if the Democrats succeed in getting Biden to step aside, that third-party triumvirate will still cause some irritation for whichever wingnut replaces him. Maybe not enough to help the Republicans overcome the power of the Magic Mail-In Ballot Machine, but who knows? There are a few factors coming together to create a… situation.

The combination of the increasing importance of independents, the potential third-party free-for-all, and a growing disgust among the American electorate with almost all things political could make for an interesting side story in an election cycle that will not be lacking any drama. It will be quite interesting to see what the two major party candidates do to woo the independents.

OK, if Biden does make it through to the general election — and I grow more doubtful of that each day — he obviously won’t be doing any of the wooing. The Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media will have to do that. They got away with selling a fictional Biden to some independent voters in 2020, but the time he has to spend on camera as president isn’t doing their creative writing efforts any favors.

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Maybe none of the third-party fun will materialize, but anything that sends me for the popcorn and whiskey will be welcome.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbag of Magnificence

We will begin with this from Laura:

Dear Kruiser–
In your 18JUL piece you write of Trump, “…I just wish he’d stop attacking Republicans and maybe focus on the Dems for a while.”

I could not agree more! Even if he DID direct his ire at Dems (which would be a refreshing change of pace) I find his boorish behavior exhausting.  Policies? Love. Behavior? Loathe.  If he’d focus on topics of import instead of people of varying degrees of interest, he’d experience far less friction.  I fear that’s too much to hope for, sadly.

Also, just reading the word “kimchi” raises my temperature uncomfortably. My late Korean sister-in-law introduced me to that fare and I’m scarred for life.

Keep up the great work!

I should have clarified my remark about Trump. I get that he has to attack the other Republicans in the primary. It’s when he’s going after people like Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds in one of what I refer to as his “loyalty tantrums” that he wears on me. I really like everything Trump has to say when he does lay out a policy vision for a second term. Then he’s back to the foot-stomping, unfortunately.

As for kimchi, my ancestry is Polish and Irish — I never met a cabbage I didn’t like.

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This is from Chris in Virginia:

Stephen,

Your comment today, “i… Joe Biden is creepy, sleazy…) got me thinking about the Snow Non-White remake from the folks at Dizzy, Inc.

A POTUS remake, with:

Joe – Sleezer/Creaper, and/or Grumpier (International meetings è Sleeper?)

Jill – Doc-er (in her own mind, that is)

Hunter – Doper

KJP – Deflector

DOJ – Ignorer

Sec Svc — (Reluctant, coerced) Protector

Kamala – Confuser (or just plain Confused!)

Hopefully, 2024 Voters – Rejecters

Please, please, please!?!?!?

Have a good day sir!

Day drinking is really fun, isn’t it, Chris?

Friend of the Briefing Brice writes:

What?  You aren’t clamoring for a Hutchinson/Pence ticket where the campaign slogan will be “That’s Not Our Concern”.

Well, I have been having some trouble sleeping lately. A Hutchinson/Pence ticket may be just the cure for that. Also, I think that Mike Pence is sleepwalking most of the time.

This is from Krysta:

Oh Great & Glorious Kruiser!

I was going to make the subject Long Fauci as a play on Long Covid, but that just sounds gross. 

Since cancelling people for their pasts is a popular tactic on the left, how about we tackle Fauci that way? He was behind the horrible way people with AIDS were treated back in the 80’s. Maybe somebody with a big platform could get the alphabet soup community on board.

You really do have a gift for knowing how to greet me properly, Krysta. I still haven’t abandoned my theory that if the heat on Hunter and Christopher Wray doesn’t cool off, the Dems won’t hesitate to throw Little Lord Faucleroy under their short bus.

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As always, thanks to everyone who wrote in. I’ll do a couple earlier in the week next week.

Everything Isn’t Awful

Weekend mood.

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