Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Zazzou liked to keep fresh fry bread handy in case his emotional support ferret Sylvia got a little chippy.
Lately during our thrice-weekly VIP Gold “Five O’Clock Somewhere” live chats, Stephen Green and I talk a lot about what carnival freak show the 2024 United States presidential election is going to be. We agree that — like a freak show — it will probably be both disturbing and entertaining as all get out.
Full disclosure: I’m still unclear as to the origin of the phrase “as all get out.” I was just feeling nostalgic and wanted to use it for the first time in a while.
Whenever we do talk about it, we’re usually discussing the Republican race for the nomination. Trump vs. DeSantis vs. a bunch of people who don’t stand a chance is going to be wild.
The Democrats are trying to make their primary season a little more sedate. They’re pretending that their incumbent is running unchallenged. If Joe Biden were your incumbent, you’d try to pretend there wasn’t a reason to let him out of the house much too.
I’m not entirely convinced that Joe Biden is going to make it through to November 2024. His medical staff is really struggling with getting the right mix of uppers and downers into him lately. Each public appearance is a bigger trainwreck than the last, yet they still allow him off-leash to try and play president.
Robert just wrote about Biden’s latest foray and failure into sentence-making, this time at the G7 Summit. This one was particularly painful because President LOLEightyonemillion tried to get specific with numbers. That’s a daunting task for a guy who would have difficulty counting the one baggie of Cheerios he has in his hand.
There’s video of the Biden babble in Robert’s post that you have to see. I’ve watched it three times and got more embarrassed for this country with each viewing.
While it’s not unusual for the party with the incumbent to blow off would-be challengers and not hold any debates, Biden’s increasing abandonment of the English language and strange wanderings when left to walk a few steps on his own may force the Democrats to rethink all of this. The time will soon come when Biden’s handlers will have to bring back the basement strategy from 2020 and hope that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. shuts the hell up.
Good luck with that.
Ben wrote yesterday about the current state of non-debates in the Democratic party. He mentions that the DNC will work overtime to “keep RFK Jr. on the fringes,” which, of course, they will. The Dems are notorious for doing everything they can to predetermine the outcomes of their primaries even when they aren’t running an incumbent.
It’s a little harder for the Democrats to tell a Kennedy to sit down and be quiet, especially a firebrand like RFK Jr. After spending decades venerating the Kennedy who killed an intern it’s not easy to find a reason to shun any of the other ones.
Right now, I can think of few things more politically entertaining than seeing Biden, RFK Jr., and Marianne Williamson on a debate stage. Biden can tell a story about riding a manatee to the planet Neptune and frolicking with a jodhpurs-clad Cesar Romero while Williamson casts a spell by slathering an otter in essential oils and yodeling in Gaelic. Rounding out Cirque du Democrat will be RFK Jr. juggling several righteous rants knowing full well that the Dems can’t kick him out because he’s the drunk cousin whose name is still on the deed to the house.
Get Bernie Sanders to join the group, and I would fork over money to watch them debate every night.
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