The Morning Briefing: Dem Candidates Don't Want Biden Anywhere Near Close Races

AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Sascha felt that his haiku skills were heightened when he wore his aquamarine crushed velvet bell bottoms.

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Even though the party that holds the White House tends not to fare well in midterm elections, it usually tries to minimize the damage by getting POTUS out to campaign for candidates in winnable races.

In normal times, anyway.

We are, of course, not living in normal times. We’re mired somewhere between Through the Looking-Glass and a Hunter S. Thompson lunchtime acid trip. We’re also saddled with a president who will go down as one of — if not the — worst in American history, despite the best efforts of the hacks in the Democratic advocacy media.

The dirty little secret is that Democrats know it.

In their rush to get rid of Donald Trump, the Democrats didn’t really think too much about who they were replacing him with. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are a one-two punch of clownish uselessness that have brought the Democrats to the precipice of a historical electoral butt-whupping.

Democrats in close races aren’t filling Joe Biden’s dance card this week. Barack Obama is getting a lot of those calls. He was here in Arizona campaigning for Mark “I’M AN ASTRONAUT!” Kelly last night.

Where has President LOLEightyonemillion recently been? Bumbling around in places where the Democrats either aren’t going to win or don’t need any help. And, as always, embarrassing himself and the country. Stephen Green wrote about Biden’s Tuesday night gaffe, which was a doozy:

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Thanks to the indispensable Christina Pushaw, we have video evidence of Biden — possibly the whitest man to walk into the Oval Office since Pee-Wee Herman paid a visit to President George H.W. Bush* — claiming to have attended Delaware State University.

For those like me who hadn’t heard of that particular school before today, it is one of America’s many proud Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU).

Maybe you’re more charitable than I am, and believe that maybe he simply misspoke. It isn’t that difficult, after all, even for a person with all their faculties, to accidentally say “Delaware State University” instead of “University of Delaware,” which Biden did attend**.

That’s what I thought, before I did two things.

First, I actually watched the clip instead of just relying on Pushaw’s quick summary. Second, I did a little digging into the Poor Black Child’s history of riotous HBCU claims.

What Mr. Green discovered, of course, is that Biden is full of you-know-what.

These remarks were made at a Florida rally for perennial candidate Charlie Crist, the Democrat opposing juggernaut Ron DeSantis in the state’s gubernatorial race. As of this writing, Crist trails DeSantis in the polls by, well, infinity. He’s gonna get killed next Tuesday. The only needle Biden has a chance of moving there is the one they’re apparently sticking in his hand for his pre-speech Adderall hit.

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Matt writes that Biden’s plans later in the week may involve a trip to the Windy City, which is another real head-scratcher. Here’s his conclusion from the post:

There may be a red tsunami coming, but I don’t think that explains Biden’s pending visit to Chicago. I believe this isn’t Biden trying to save deep-blue Chicago as much as it is that deep-blue Chicago is one of the few places that will even have Biden. We’ve known for a long time that vulnerable Democrats aren’t exactly running to Biden to come to help their campaigns. Chicago is safe territory, where Biden, who has been underwater in the polls since August of 2021, will turn off the least amount of voters. Outside of deep blue enclaves, Joe Biden is a leper and a pariah you wouldn’t want your campaign associated with.

BINGO.

The one close race Biden has shown up for is the Pennsylvania Senate contest. That’s probably because Pennsylvania’s highest-elected hobo, John Fetterman, is the only politician in America who makes Biden look like a brilliant orator.

Joe Biden is the reason for the Democrats’ dismal election season. If any of the people running his brain had brains of their own, they’d keep President HBCU locked in the deepest bunker in the White House in order to keep him from embarrassing his fellow Democrats. He could spend his days regaling Corn Pop with tales of what it’s like to be down with the struggle. Then he could wander around in circles shaking hands with phantoms.

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Attempting to give him some relevance by trotting him out in public but keeping him as far away as possible from anything he might screw up is just a reminder of which party not to vote for next week.

Don’t forget, this is the last chance to send something in for a chance to be in Friday’s Mailbag of Magnificence!

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