Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Kelton’s penchant for telling strangers that they should be wearing more corduroy made him the scourge of mall security throughout the greater Akron area.
I have largely avoided writing about John Fetterman because I haven’t quite been able to figure out what’s going on there. I’m talking about stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with the stroke, which we will get to shortly.
The guy dresses like a stoner uncle who has spent the last 30 years reliving the six months he spent in a ska band when he was 19. An uncle who you’re sure does weird things to your hamster when you’re not around. He really does seem like proof that most of the Democrat votes cast in and around the Philadelphia area are done so by dead people.
Normally even someone as callous as I would avoid criticizing a stroke victim. Fetterman has, however, made himself fair game by deciding that he would rather be a United States senator than tend to his health.
Or has he?
Is this still John Fetterman’s dream or has it become his wife’s dream?
I wasn’t even aware of Gisele Fetterman until last weekend when she pitched a hissy fit because NBC News conducted an interview with her husband and didn’t doctor it to make him seem all there. Let’s be honest here, the members of the mainstream media don’t have a lot of energy for that kind of thing after dealing with President LOLEightyonemillion every day.
Since that day last weekend, everything is coming up Gisele Fetterman. They may not be campaigning from a basement, but she’s definitely giving off that “I am my husband’s handler” vibe that Jill Biden first began showing in the summer of 2020. Back in July 2020, I wrote that Jill Biden wanted to be “Edith Wilson 2.0.” It’s now becoming obvious that Gisele Fetterman would like to be Jill Biden 2.0 or, a more apt comparison, Edith Wilson 3.0.
This is from a Twitchy post on Thursday:
I attempted to ask Lt. Gov. John Fetterman if he was satisfied on the construction progress of the Fern Hollow Bridge prior to @POTUS Biden's speech on October 20, 2022 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Fetterman's wife tells me that they are there to celebrate and not do interviews. pic.twitter.com/LfLaXMZTpB
— Kyle Mazza (@KyleMazzaWUNF) October 20, 2022
It was a campaign appearance with the President of the United States but, hey, why talk politics? By the way, a simple “yes” or “no” question is not an interview, GiGi.
About that appearance. Yeah, someone in the Dem hierarchy thought it would be a good idea to have Biden and Fetterman appear in public together.
Train, meet Wreck.
If you’re wondering how bad Fetterman is these days, they only let Joe Biden speak. Let the fact that Biden was the least bad public speaking option sink in for a minute.
Here is some of what Lincoln wrote about the sad affair:
And why shouldn’t they? I mean, sure, the jokes practically write themselves here, but boiled down to the essence, we have a world leader and possibly a future legislator who are obviously dealing with serious cognitive issues. This is important, not only in matters of state but in establishing confidence at home and abroad. The Democrats know this but are standing there with their fingers in their ears shouting “La, la, la, at least they’re not Republicans. La, la, Donald Trump! La, la, la abortion! La, la, la, January 6th!” As long as Joe is kept on a short leash and Fetterman keeps his mouth shut unless absolutely necessary, maybe they can get through the midterms.
Also telling was a line in Biden’s speech. He said, “John, thank you very much for running, I really do appreciate it. And Gisele, you’re gonna be a great, great lady in the Senate.”
Wait, what?
Sure, Biden is a total spaz, but what if he was accidentally blurting out the end game that the Democrats have planned for Fetterman? Get him into office, then tell the public, “Oh yeah, his health is really bad, we’re gonna have to let his wife fill out his term.”
It is difficult to believe that Fetterman’s heart is in this as much as his wife’s is. There is no reason to believe his full health is magically going to return should he win the election. If he can’t give a one-word answer to a question at a campaign stop, how is he supposed to give a floor speech if elected?
Much like with Biden in 2020, it seems that John Fetterman is fulfilling the fantasy of an attention-you-know-what wife who doesn’t love him enough to let him avoid public embarrassment.
Nice bunch of gals you’ve got over there, Dems.
The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
The Mailbag of Magnificence
The Friday mailbag is filled with the joy of the season. We will begin with this from William:
I am convinced that your opening paragraph is generated by an AI program using a MadLibs template. Steve Allen called this ‘off-the-wall’ humor. He liked it but had to drop it because nobody laughed except the guys in the band.
I don’t have a band. They’re written by some guy named Thurwood in Wilcox, Ariz. The fans have spoken. I’ve had I think three naysayers so far and more people who say they like it than I can count. THE WEIRDNESS STAYS.
Billye writes:
Steve,
I do enjoy your opening paragraph. Thank goodness conservatives have a sense of humor. Even in the worst of times we can have a good laugh. That is what keeps us sane.
I especially love ‘Everything Isn’t Awful’. Almost everyday I send it off to our grandchildren first thing in the morning to start their day with a smile. Thank you for giving us something to smile about.
I’m so glad this is resonating with people. I think it’s important to begin with a little silliness and lightheartedness before doing the kind of extensive deep dive into news topics that we do here. Honestly, the opening paragraph and “Everything Isn’t Awful” began just to help my sanity. I am grateful that others are enjoying them. Thank you!
This is from Cliff:
Hello Stephen,I always enjoy the Morning Briefing and look for it every morning. Then I look for anything new from Stephen Green.
This summer I was fretting about the possibility that the Dems might find ways to shore up their vote with the usual tricks, and relying on American’s short attention span. The last time we had inflation like this was not caused by Jimmy Carter but was caused by OPEC deciding that they weren’t getting paid enough for their oil. The main cause of that inflation was the price of gas. This time around we have the price of gas, the plandemic, China, crime, and everything else that the progs have been doing. I think people will remember in November.
Out in the ocean a tsunami is not visible but just travels through the water till it gets to shallow areas near the coast and rises up. I am hoping that we are starting to see the top of the wave.
Keep up the good work.
First, you can’t go wrong with what we here at PJ Media like to call “The Two Steves Approach.” After having typed that out I realize that it’s a great title for a buddy comedy about two guys who really like to day drink.
Yes, it’s autobiographical.
While I always caution against getting too optimistic before any election, even I’ve begun to feel less than full of gloom about next month. In Kruiserspeak, that amounts to optimism. I think the Dems have done so much damage in such a short period of time that even they can’t manufacture magic mail-in ballot ways to get themselves out of this one.
If I’m wrong, there’s the aforementioned day drinking.
We will finish with this from Marni:
Hello Mr. Kruiser,
Re: David Strom’s HotAir piece on International Pronoun Day.
Dey/Dem? It’s ok to use those pronouns now? Isn’t that the kind of language that got Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn banned from public schools?
Great, now we’re on a watch list.
Thank you so much to all who wrote. I hope I have a chance to answer some of the longer, more serious emails soon.
Everything Isn’t Awful
Almost Friday.. 😂 https://t.co/QWoJnOcOJA
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) October 20, 2022
PJ Media
VodkaPundit. PANIC TIME: Dems Shifting Campaign $$$ Away From Safe Seats to Protect Safer Seats
Stupid Party: Kevin McCarthy Says GOP Won’t Move to Impeach Biden or Administration Officials
Why Is the U.S. Government Funding Drag Performances in Ecuador?
Thanks for the quickie. BREAKING: Liz Truss Resigns as UK Prime Minister
Taxpayer Group Asks Supreme Court to Block Student Loan Forgiveness Program
Top Democrat Admits ‘All of Us Knew’ Their Party’s Policies Would Cause Inflation
Former PJTV Filmmaker Investigated by FBI as Domestic Terrorist for J6 Documentary
Fetterman Stays Quiet While Biden Says Gisele Will Be a ‘Great Lady in the Senate’
The Biden-Harris Plan to Reduce Gas Prices Looks Like a Five Year Old Came Up With It
Over One Million Americans Are Rationing Insulin
#TrueStory. Leftists Can’t Stand It When They Can’t Control Speech
EXPLAINER: Here’s What the CDC’s Vaccine Advisory Board Did This Week and How It Impacts Your Family
Former FBI Official Will Testify About White House Pressure to Inflate Domestic Extremism Numbers
Wut? Joe Biden Says ‘Yes, There Should Be’ Restrictions on Abortion
In Biden’s America, You Can Soon Score Some Weed at Your Local Gas Station
Townhall Mothership
Larry O. Governors Can ‘Just Say No’ to CDC Vax Mandate
Ron Klain Strikes Again With Epic Fail Narrative on Gas Prices
John Kennedy: ‘Media Has Turned Biden Into Caricature Of a Nice Elderly Gentleman’
College Enrollment Drops For Third Straight Year Since the COVID-19 Pandemic
Ohio sheriff advocates for armed school staff
Cam&Co. CNN’s good move on gun coverage
Gun bans offer manufacturers golden opportunity
BOOM! 59% of voters think MSM is a “major threat” to Democracy: NYT/Siena Poll
On serving your country: A lament
Kamala hires a new chief speechwriter – Is the third time the charm?
Biden Flips out on Two Reporters, Puts His Hands on Them When He’s Questioned
Texas A&M Faculty Doubles-Down on Policy Discriminating Against Hiring Asians
Brilliant. Hilarious: This May Just Be the Best Response to Climate Change Radicals
Speaker Kevin McCarthy will kick Schiff, Swalwell, and Omar off their committees
Listen to MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough desperately trying to spin President Biden’s approval rating
VIP
Become part of the PJ Media VIP party by subscribing here. Use promo code KRUISERMB to receive a 25% discount. Trust me, we’re having fun over here.
Turns Out the Real Pariah Is Joe Biden
Screw the CDC — I Won’t Give My Child the COVID Vaccine
Around the Interwebz
Comedy wildlife photo finalists are every bit as silly as you’d hope
Real Zombies and Body Snatchers Live Among Us
Smells Like Onion
Widow Finally Ready To Get Out There And Outlive Someone New https://t.co/Gjo4zaqg0h pic.twitter.com/68e0gGEyl6
— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 20, 2022
The Kruiser Kabana
Kabana Gallery
Avenue de l'Opera Rain Effect, 1898 #camillepissarro #danishart https://t.co/i947qwdmqa pic.twitter.com/dn0GnrF7NJ
— Camille Pissarro (@artpissarro) October 20, 2022
Join the conversation as a VIP Member