The Morning Briefing: Not Gonna Lie, Queen Elizabeth Was Kinda Cool

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The allure of the forbidden clam never wanes in Hector’s remote mountain village.

We should cover a few things up front for this one.

First: I never thought that the old girl could die.

Second: I am in no way a Europhile or obsessed with British royalty.

Third: Queen Elizabeth II was kind of a stand-alone force that made even people like me admire her.

I know that there are countries all over this planet that still have royal families. If you put a gun to my head and said that I had to name any living royal not among Elizabeth’s family, I’d be a goner. I don’t even know all of them. There’s an Archie, I believe, and I will forever aver that it’s things like that which make the British ridiculous.

Elizabeth’s greatest accomplishment was being more than the mere figurehead that she was supposed to be. I will never understand the Brits, but I do know that she mattered to the many I’ve met. It’s a safe bet that none of the King Olafs floating around in the Scandanavian countries are as important to their people.

Yesterday, both my friend Larry O’Connor and my mother expressed that they thought it was horrible that Elizabeth’s incredible reign was going to be followed up by the crowning of her dullard offspring, Charles. Chuckster is one of the British royals who inbreeding wasn’t kind to. And he cheated on his hot princess wife. Many Brits probably think that Elizabeth’s ability to keep Charles off of the throne for so long was the greatest thing anyone could have done for England.

Queen Elizabeth irritated the kind of people who you want to be irritated. And the people who admired her really admired her. Matt wrote about President Trump’s statement after her passing:

Trump added, “Melania and I will always cherish our time together with the Queen, and never forget Her Majesty’s generous friendship, great wisdom, and wonderful sense of humor. What a grand and beautiful lady she was—there was nobody like her!”

“Our thoughts and prayers will remain with the great people of the United Kingdom as you honor her most meaningful life and exceptional service to the people,” Trump continued. “May God bless the Queen, may she reign forever in our hearts, and may God hold her and Prince Philip in abiding care.”

During our “Five O’Clock Somewhere” live chat yesterday (subscribe here with the promo code PJSQUAD for a discount to join that madness) Larry noted that he, Mr. Green, and myself have all been blessed to live in an era of extraordinary leaders like Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, Pope John Paul II, and Queen Elizabeth.

May the memories of them sustain us as we suffer through this moment in history where the world is governed by so many paste-eating mediocrities.

The Mailbag of Magnificence

As I have mentioned more than once, I like it when people say nice things about me. So, we’ll kick off with this from Chris:

Loved your “Biden’s spit-filled rants” phrase.
New headline —
POTUS PHLEGM FLINGING IN PHILLY

Keep up the good work!

Thank you, Chris, and one thing will always be true: “phlegm” is a goofy word to look at when it’s spelled out.

Chris offered some writing assistance, Janice steps up with some editorial help:

Wikipedia (I know, I know, but it’s accurate as far as I can remember.)

In 1969, Hillary Rodham wrote a 92-page senior thesis for Wellesley College about the views advocated by community organizer Saul Alinsky, titled “There Is Only the Fight . . . “: An Analysis of the Alinsky Model.[1]

While the work by Rodham as a college student was the subject of much speculation in articles and biographies of Hillary Rodham Clinton in the 1990s, access to the thesis was limited by the college, at the request of the Clinton White House, during her time as First Lady of the United States.

I think she did turn down an offer by Alinsky to intern or somehow work with him. But too busy to look that up now.

I double-checked (which I should have done the first time) and you’re right. Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow! Also, Granny Maojackets is still a lousy commie.

Aron writes:

Good morning, Kruiser!
I have two questions: I miss “Unwoke, with Kevin & Kruiser.” Are there plans for when it will return? I also have been wondering about your picture at the bottom of your columns. It is a small picture, so it is hard to tell, but it sure looks like human female figure behind you on your right.
Thought: We should send Biden a pair of odor eaters to put in his tennis shoes. Then when he puts them on…Poof! he would disappear! Have a great Day!

I miss “Unwoke” too! Kevin and I are still working on taking it on the road live, but our schedules aren’t syncing up for the podcast at the moment. We hope to have that rectified soon. It’s fun being uncensored and ridiculous which, thanks to the United States Department of Defense, Kevin and I have had the pleasure of doing in some exotic places around the world. The picture behind me is actually an abstract painting that doesn’t have any human figures in it. No naked ladies, I swear.

We’ll wrap up with this from Mike:

I tried to not re-vip but I really enjoy you and VP.

So this is my weekend update:

NBC I think,

STATE OF EMERGENCY – FLOODING ON THE EAST COAST

…electric vehicles not doing well in water.

Mr. Green and I are here to be enjoyed.

Wait, what?

Thank you, everyone who wrote to [email protected] this week. I really enjoy being in touch with so many of you throughout the week. Don’t tell anyone I said I like something. It’s off brand for me.

Everything Isn’t Awful

NASA's new telescope just captured this stunning image of the Tarantula Nebula.

It was captured by the James Webb Space Telescope.

In other words, NASA just caught a Tarantula in its Webb.

We're here all week 😇 pic.twitter.com/3g2bCtC58X

— Goodable (@Goodable) September 7, 2022

Smells Like Onion

‘Madden’ Glitch Lets Player Win Super Bowl With Texans https://t.co/vh3ZK029Zz pic.twitter.com/RErLXsnfjL

— The Onion (@TheOnion) September 8, 2022

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Field at Eragny, 1885 #pissarro #impressionism https://t.co/VDaRxCa4LQ pic.twitter.com/NLaAEkRNQI

— Camille Pissarro (@artpissarro) September 8, 2022