The Morning Briefing: Taking Bets on the Jill Biden/Kamala Harris 2021 Hate Match

“Kamala Harris and Jill Biden Report to the Octagon…”

Are we still TGIFing anymore? If so, then Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Vicodin and red wine…trust me.

While mentally meandering through the political hellscape that is post-2020 election America, I find myself wondering if perhaps this isn’t all a funky nightmare brought on by going to sleep after eating some bad takeout.

Forget the fantastical fraud numbers — something like fourteen hundred kajilliontybillion have voted for Biden now — did anybody really vote for this drooling moron? Seriously, I’m embarrassed to live in a country where even a hundred people might vote for the demented husk that is Joe Biden.

I get that Democrats are low-info, gullible voters who laughingly operate under the illusion that they’re the intellectual Illuminati of the Republic. They can be talked into voting for anyone.

Like Hillary Clinton.

But seriously, this guy?

There has been a lot of speculation about how things would play out if Joe Biden were to win the election. Would he make it to Inauguration Day? Would he even know he won? Would his own party put him on the express train to the 25th Amendment?

The guy’s brain has obviously left the building. Let’s be honest, he was never working with much in the first place. That’s what made him perfect for Washington. In almost half of a century inside the Beltway, Joe Biden’s most notable achievement was dropping an f-bomb on a hot mic.

For some reason, they’re still letting him talk:

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris gave a joint interview to CNN’s Jake Tapper on Thursday. Biden also gave one of his signature, bewildering answers when asked how he plans to resolve fundamental disagreements with his vice president.

“When we disagree, so far it’s been just like when Barack and I did,” Biden said. “… And like I told Barack, if I reach something where there’s a fundamental disagreement we have based on a moral principle, I’ll develop some disease and say I have to resign.”

So if and when Biden realizes that he has fundamental disagreements with his vice president, the most liberal member of the U.S. Senate, we can expect Biden to say that he has developed a disease and resign? My guess is COVID or some form of dementia.

Grandpa Gropes can’t retrieve any of the scripted “thoughts” in his head without saying “Barack and I.” That’s obviously the trigger phrase. Where the rambling idiot goes from there is always anybody’s guess.

Biden’s mental fragility has been on display for a long time. Now we’re seeing how physically fragile he is. Over the weekend, we were told that he was injured while playing with his dog. As with all things Biden, it gets weirder and makes less sense once he opens his mouth on the subject:

Joe Biden says he broke foot tripping after shower when he pulled dog's tail https://t.co/cQgua3eXaO pic.twitter.com/afJbpYwTDe

— New York Post (@nypost) December 4, 2020

I’m still convinced that they’re covering up for the fact that the dog was making Biden fetch.

Let us be clear about one thing: Joe Biden isn’t going to be president, even if he’s inaugurated.

There will be the guy that looks like Joe Biden hanging around the Oval Office but the only decisions he will be making will involve which Lego kit he wants to play with that day.

The country will actually be run by whichever female prevails in the background: Biden’s wife Jill or the woman who would be his vice-president, Kamala Harris.

Harris is the reason that Biden is going to need a food taster. She’s a nakedly ambitious witch who would probably prefer that Gropey Joe doesn’t even make it to the Inauguration balls on January 20th. Half the country still thinks that she broke his foot.

She’s going to have to get past the Keeper of the Biden Basement, Dr. Jill.

Mrs. Biden did more than anyone else to keep the Village Idiot at home during the campaign and minimize his chances for embarrassment. She knew she had a shot at being Edith Wilson 2.0 and she wasn’t going to let her husband ruin it. When it was finally time to get Joe out of the basement, Jill was by his side for every interview, making sure she was able to get Joe away from the camera as soon as he went off on a tangent about elves massaging his buttocks or something.

Ever since she was tapped to be Biden’s running mate, the Democrats and the media have been playing along and pretending that they like Kamala Harris.

They don’t.

Were she more popular with Democrats, Harris wouldn’t have much trouble pushing Biden aside with some mystery illness and becoming president. She’s not going to have a lot of party support in the battle to be Biden’s background brain.

Jill Biden brings something to the table that’s more appealing to the Dem establishment: Big Labor in the White House. The National Education Association — the most evil labor organization on Earth — will be calling the shots as long as Dr. Jill is the Number One puppet mistress pulling Joe’s strings. That’s something that means more to the party than Kamala’s personal ambition.

That doesn’t mean Harris won’t prevail, but If I were a betting man I’d go all-in on the missus.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL<breathe>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Biden, Harris pledge to keep politics out of Justice Department https://t.co/l6gfiC0NwB pic.twitter.com/H2robOpJYf

— The Hill (@thehill) December 4, 2020

#KruiserFeelings

I didn't even want do go anywhere until my local government told me to stay home. Just sayin'. #Resist

— SFK (@stephenkruiser) December 4, 2020

Bee Me

Selfless Democrats Go To Fancy Restaurants, Parties To Show Public What Not To Do https://t.co/KKhV1q7PU7

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 3, 2020

The Kruiser Kabana

pic.twitter.com/IVZXnktFyA

— 11:11 (@11hr11min) December 3, 2020

Cool Whip is not just for dating anymore.

___

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.