(Don’t) Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Or Something
As we move into the 925th week of COVID-19 stay-at-home goodness, I’ve made no secret about the fact that I think it is going to have to go on a little longer, probably through the summer. I’ve also been the sports fan naysayer, predicting that Major League Baseball was more than likely done for the year. This hasn’t been an easy call for me because baseball is my greatest love out of all of the sports.
Major League Baseball is teasing me now. Ed Morrissey wrote a post yesterday at our sister site HotAir about a plan that baseball officials are working on to be able to stage a bizarro baseball season in this most bizarro of years.
Out: “Go the distance.” In: “Go inside the biosphere.” ESPN reported late last night that one major sports league has a plan to launch a new season. Rather than play at all of the regular stadiums, however, Major League Baseball would play all of its games in Phoenix — where hot weather might keep the coronavirus at bay.
There is just one catch, pardon the pun. Players, coaches, umpires, and staff will have to live in quarantine for the duration of the months-long season.
As a hardcore fan, being able to watch any baseball — even with all of the empty stadium weirdness — would be a welcome relief from the sports-free hellscape we’ve been slogging through thus far.
Talking the players into committing to being isolated from their families will obviously be a tough sell.
Another big problem is the weather. Many of these games would be played at Spring Training venues, which are all outdoors. Phoenix in the summertime is a scorch-y affair. I’m from this desert and I don’t spend a lot of time outside in the summer. Nobody does. A three-hour baseball game that is being played in 108-115-degree temperatures in July is going to require a LOT of Gatorade.
As Ed points out, this could be a great boon for Major League Baseball. It’s the only of the big sports leagues that have even floated a plan beyond wishful thinking. Watching a baseball game or three could just be quite the “rally and feel better” distraction that the country needs after being served heaping piles of doom and gloom for a couple of months.
Then again, I won’t rule out the possibility that watching baseball games with no one in the stands might just be depressing.
Either way, I am sure that most of you are familiar with my constant insistence that there be some kind of even loosely-defined endgame for our current situation. This news is at least a theoretical light at the end of the tunnel on our journey back to post-apocalypse normalcy.
Now if we could just get Vin Scully to come out of retirement for a little while.
It’s VIP Gold Live Chat Time Again
My friend Stephen Green and I will be doing another live video chat this afternoon for our VIP Gold subscribers. In fact, we’ve decided to do them every week during the lockdown. We went on for over two hours last week and had a great time. Sign up for VIP Gold for just a month to see if you like it.
Bring Out Your Death tolls!
We have what may be a little good news in a time when it’s such things are in short supply. Megan wrote yesterday about the head of the CDC reporting that all of our social distancing may just be working.
If I have to avoid people in the name of public health I’m willing to continue doing what I’ve been doing for the past ten years.
— Variety (@Variety) April 8, 2020
From the Mothership and Beyond
Smells Like Onion
— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 7, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
Street art by SmugOne pic.twitter.com/paBT286nLN
— Street Art Magic (@streetartmagic) April 8, 2020
WIPE IT ALL DOWN.
It’s important to get the coffee/toilet paper ratio just right.
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”