Are We There Yet?!?
At war, I mean. Not yet, but keep your calendars open.
Things, as the kids say, escalated quickly last night, as the Iranians who have been attacking American troops via proxy for years decided to finally get their hands dirty:
Iran state TV reports that Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) was behind a missile attack on the Al Asad airbase in Iraq in response to the U.S. airstrike that killed a top Iranian commander.
Iran also attacked Erbil in northern Iraq.
The only thing anyone knew for the longest time was that the attack was underway. That didn’t prevent people from rushing to offer a seemingly endless supply of insufferable hot-takes on Twitter to fill the news void.
MSNBC was provided an opportunity to commit journalistic malpractice and — true to form — pounced on it:
MSNBC aired Iran state media’s false claim that 30 U.S. soldiers had been killed tonight pic.twitter.com/DnEkMq3x7f
— JERRY DUNLEAVY (@JerryDunleavy) January 8, 2020
In the midst of watching virtually every liberal on social media say something stupid, President Trump made a Twitter appearance to clear some things up:
All is well! Missiles launched from Iran at two military bases located in Iraq. Assessment of casualties & damages taking place now. So far, so good! We have the most powerful and well equipped military anywhere in the world, by far! I will be making a statement tomorrow morning.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 8, 2020
To make the night even weirder, a Ukrainian (“IMPEACH!”) passenger jet crashed after taking off from Tehran.
I’m no foreign policy expert, and I won’t be hazarding a guess as to how all of this is going to play out. My gut tells me that it doesn’t have the same ending that everyone in Ayatollahville thinks it does. Still, that’s just a hunch.
I am, however, capable of remembering history and the news last week as well. So I know that the notion that the United States provoked Iran and made it reluctantly come out of some gee-aren’t-they-nice reverie to attack us is absolutely absurd.
A week ago at this time, the American embassy in Tehran was under siege from militiamen who were backed by Iran.
The Iranians have been bankrolling violence against Israel and U.S. troops in the Middle East for so long that one could make the case that we’ve been at war with them for a while.
Trump Derangement Syndrome has now morphed into Iranian Apology and Appeasement Syndrome and, like every part of this Trump tantrum, is beyond wearisome.
No one wants another war, but that doesn’t mean that we have to pretend that the regime that came to power in Iran over forty years ago shouting “Death to America!” and calling the U.S. “The Great Satan” has mellowed with time. They aren’t now a bunch of cuddly teddy bears who can only be provoked because ORANGE MAN BAD.
This week is going to be a long year.
From the Mothership and Beyond
Michelle Williams: 'Sometimes You Just Have To Ask Yourself, 'How Many People Do I Have To Kill To Get An Acting Career?'' https://t.co/3Z7Hpyaoox
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 7, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
Rickles, not war.
I’m going to swear only in British for a while.
PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”