Impeachment: 'Ain't Nobody Got Time for That' Trump Lawyer's Blathering on Day 1

Trump impeachment defense attorney Bruce Castor. Screenshot from live feed.

What the hell happened to one of Donald Trump’s impeachment lawyers on day one of the Senate trial? Bruce Castor, Jr.’s rambling, nearly hourly long opening discourse on memories of his parents’ pressed vinyl recordings of Everett Dirksen lectures, easily getting lost at the Capitol, occasional fragments of cogent thought, and deep thoughts on competing metaphors set a bizarre tone after the House impeachment managers’ taut and tear-filled presentation of what a bad man former President Trump is.


We were looking for a defense of the 45th president and what we got was Uncle Bruce spouting free radical thought  bubbles.

Well, now we know what happened.

It wasn’t planned.

As if we couldn’t tell.

Let it be noted for the record that winging-it at an impeachment proceeding is to be avoided at all costs, no matter how many founding father quotes you have in your rhetorical arsenal. Period. Or, as Joe Biden would say while reading an ellipsis on a teleprompter, “Period, period, period.”

Castor admitted during his rhetorical ramble, “I’ll be quite frank with you: We changed what we were going to do on account that we thought the House managers’ presentation was well done.”

One of Trump’s other attorneys, David Schoen, admitted on Hannity on the Fox News Network that Castor “hadn’t planned on going” today and that “they’ll be very well-planned in the future,” as Mediaite reported. They’d changed that day’s tactics to rebut Congressman Jamie Raskin’s crying and the Hollywood-like produced propaganda film the Democrats showed the Senators.

That great political philosopher, Mike Tyson, once famously said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth,” but, political pugilism aside, didn’t the president’s attorneys, granted, on the job for only a few days, foresee that the Democrats would have a video of crazy rioters interspersed with edited video of the president’s speech on January 6th that even Twitter might flag?

In addition to the appeals to emotion, unalloyed hubris, pictures, and quotes from everything not the Constitution, the only thing the Democrats failed to shovel at senators were tubs of buttered popcorn to enjoy during the show.


But that didn’t mean senators, who will not vote to convict Trump – again – wouldn’t care to hear this team of highly paid lawyers pick apart the vacuous sophistry that passed as argument to impeach a guy who’s not even in office anymore.

The Democrats pounded the table and Castor responded in kind on behalf of the president. What a missed opportunity.

The Wall Street Journal collected responses from Republican senators about Day 1 of Impeachment Part Deux.

Sen. John Cornyn (R., Texas) said Mr. Castor “just rambled on and on and on and didn’t really address the constitutional argument.” He said Mr. Castor’s partner, David Schoen, made a better case: “Finally, the second lawyer got around to it.”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R., Texas) said he didn’t think Mr. Trump’s lawyers did “the most effective job.” He added: “I will say this: Jamie Raskin was impressive. He’s a serious lawyer.”

“The [Democratic] House managers were focused, they were organized,” Sen. Bill Cassidy (R., La.) told reporters. “President Trump’s team were disorganized. They did everything they could but to talk about the question at hand.”

Everyone knows this impeachment is politically motivated retribution to silence Trump and his millions of supporters. They know his words did not cause the horrible riot at the Capitol; that it was preplanned days or weeks in advance by outside agitators.

Trump’s lawyers should direct the high key kliegs at this Democrat power play as they make the constitutional case on his behalf.

Wasting 48 minutes on old timey yarns may increase Castor’s billable hours, but as that other political philosopher, Sweet Brown, once said, “ain’t nobody got time for that” during an impeachment trial.



Victoria Taft is the host of “The Adult in the Room Podcast With Victoria Taft” where you can hear her series on “Antifa Versus Mike Strickland.” Find it  here.Follow her on Facebook,  TwitterParlerMeWeMinds @VictoriaTaft 


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