The Morning Briefing: I Could Have Counted Half of Maricopa County's Votes Myself by Now

AP Photo/LM Otero

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Lisette is increasingly worried that a “Tonya Harding Moment” will erupt when the Bunco babes start getting chippy after a few shots of Fireball.

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When I was a younger Republican voter here in my native Arizona, things were simple. I’d vote for Republican candidates and Republican candidates would win. It was a lovely, functional dance that we did. Then I went to California for a couple of decades, and blue chaos reigned here in the Grand Canyon State upon my return.

Conventional wisdom says the place has gotten more purple because we’ve had an influx of Democrats from California. I blame Illinois, however. There’s been some sort of unwritten law for a long time that residents of Chicago beeline for my desert as soon as they get sick of ducking bullets.

Wherever they’re coming from, a lot are moving to Phoenix, which is in — you guessed it — Maricopa County.

There’s no accounting for taste.

As we have all seen this week, their counting skills are rather suspect.

There were a couple of updates from the snail’s pace count today, but Catherine writes about more maddening news that came out of the Maricopa clown car on Thursday:

Maricopa County, Ariz., has announced that its vote count will not be completed Friday, meaning election results will likely not be known till after the weekend, as the Post Millennial reported. Apparently, Maricopa is counting at a rapid rate of five votes an hour…?

News Nation network correspondent Ali Bradley tweeted, “Spokesperson for #MaricopaCounty elections tells me the majority of ballots won’t be done being counted until after the weekend. They initially anticipated 95-99% of ballots to be completed by Friday. An historic 290k ballots were dropped off #ElectionDay causing the delay.” An “historic” ballot drop. Let’s hope they didn’t come from the residents of the local graveyard.

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It’s not like this is important or anything, so why not take the weekend off, right?

Honestly, I could hand count these votes faster than the “tabulators” in Maricopa County are getting the job done.

Every excuse offered by Maricopa County election officials for the myriad problems there this week has been beyond pathetic. The printers weren’t set right. Sixty of them.

Then there are all the mentions of just how many more ballots there are to count, which confounds me. They know how many registered voters there are. They know how many mail-in ballots have been sent out. They should be prepared for all of them to show up at once. As Florida showed on Tuesday, it’s quickly doable on a large scale.

There is no acceptable reason to stop counting votes. None. Zero. Shut up, I don’t want to hear it.

As I have been fond of saying since 2020, I didn’t use to be much of a conspiracy theory guy, and now I’ve got a walk-in closet full of tinfoil hats. The way the Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media have been insisting that any suspicions about fraud in Maricopa County are “misinformation” has got me smelling rat carcasses all over the place.

Kari Lake should win Maricopa County, California and Illinois transplants notwithstanding. This stalling makes it feel as if the Magic Mail-In Ballot Machine has been borrowed from Philadelphia.

I will stop saying it’s rife with fraud when it stops really looking like it’s rife with fraud.

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That doesn’t seem too much to expect.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence

Let’s jump right into it with this quick question from James:

What , exactly, is the problem with early voting?

I’m going to assume that you’re not trolling me, James. This is a lot like a conservative asking, “What’s wrong with getting a tax refund every year?”

Let’s take the Pennsylvania Senate race as an example. The debate was a disaster for Fetterman. Democrats were despairing all over the place. That train wreck might have changed a lot of minds. Sadly, the people of Pennsylvania had been voting for almost a month at that point. That’s one of the big problems with it.

I traveled for work for almost 30 years and managed to be home for every Election Day, including primary elections. It’s not difficult to vote on Election Day. Mail-in ballots are a travesty too, but it looks like we’re stuck with them. As I’ve written before, early voting and mail-in voting are the main components in the Dems’ ongoing effort to remove transparency from the election process.

No need to help them.

Ken writes:

The Republicans need to run as if the actual Election was being held on the day after Labor Day.

True story. Let the ballot harvesting begin!

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This is from Randy:

Dear Mr. Kruiser,

I know I’m in late with this but considering your ruminations today
concerning that fantastical second line, I feel “Stream of Unconsciousness”
is appropriate. Well, for me, anyway.

Keep up the good work! The entertainment value of that line, that all-to-fleeting
break from reality, means more to many of us than you could imagine.

That’s a pretty good description! I’m glad you’re enjoying everything. We’re all going to need some levity in the coming months.

David shares this:

Trump’s ego won’t let it happen, but… a DeSantis/Trump ticket would be hard to beat in 2024!! 

Love reading your column daily.  Especially the “Daily Distraction” of your opening thoughts!  Thank you for shaking loose the  morning cobwebs of my mind

Yeah, that would solve a lot of problems, but if the last few days are any indication, Trump is going to be as difficult as possible about this. The Trump/DeSantis thing could blow up the GOP’s chances completely.

We will finish with this from Candace:

Thank you Sir. you articulated very well what so many of us are feeling this morning after another duping of the electoral system… we feel they did much the same as in 2020 but tried to be a little more clever by ‘cherry picking’ what they hoped would make it seem less obvious …
What we do come away with is they can’t win if they don’t  cheat ..  and cheating is their norm! Period!
Will tune into your site going forward and again thank you for shedding the truth of what is really happening … many of us are not fooled either~

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LOL, I was a little cranky on Wednesday morning. The thing with me is that I get it all out of my system and don’t hold onto anything. I need that for the morning after. Now it’s time to focus and figure out the next steps with a clear head.

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