Trying to cover the Latin America this week is like the famous episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy and Ethel get a job in a candy factory and can't keep up with the chocolate coming down the conveyor belt. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent at my computer since Saturday, and I can't tell you how many articles I've started and have had to abandon because of how quickly things are changing.
Today is #NationalChocolateDay ❤️🍫 Many of you won’t understand this reference, but we honour chocolate with this classic Lucy/Ethel moment 😂pic.twitter.com/p4pad0p1VU
— T O R O N T O 🍁 (@Toronto) October 28, 2019
On Wednesday, I stepped away to buy groceries and spent most of the evening working on Thursday's morning briefing, but I was still planning out other articles in my head, including my regular Friday column, "The New Monroe Doctrine." It was going to be about Colombian President Gustavo Petro, the biggest fool in the Americas now that Nicolás Maduro is off the radar.
But lo and behold, I'm going to have to scrap that too because the craziest thing happened on Wednesday. Petro called Donald Trump, and Trump has invited him to the White House. I had to read Trump's social media post about eight times to make my very tired brain realize what I was seeing.
I started covering this guy more in September after he decided to stand on the streets of New York after the United Nations General Assembly, alongside, well, Roger Waters, and call for the United States military to basically form a coup against Trump. The State Department supposedly revoked his visa, and he hasn't shut up since.
It's "imperialism" this and "poor little fishermen" that and waffling back on forth on whether he and Maduro were friends, with a little bragging about writing erotic poetry and how well he can seduce a woman thrown in for good measure. If you've ever looked at this guy's X page, you see the ramblings of a man who spends an awful lot of time on social media composing these long messages and not someone who's actually running a country.
In October, Trump had enough of it, and he announced on social media that he was stopping all forms of payment to Colombia. I think Marco Rubio talked him out of that because it would have been detrimental to the people and private enterprise of the country — people and private enterprise with whom the United States has a good relationship. Petro and his family did end up on the Clinton List though, which didn't go over well.
Here's the thing about Colombia: Up until when they voted for Petro in 2022, Colombia had never had a left-wing president in its entire history, and when they finally bit the bullet and chose one, they chose a doozy. Petro, the former guerilla, campaigned on "Total Peace," promising to end decades of armed conflict and violence. (Maduro also reportedly helped fund his campaign, but I can neither confirm nor deny that.)
As it turns out, his method for ending decades of armed conflict and violence was to talk to the parties involved and... I don't know, give them hugs and cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles or something. Needless to say, it did not work. He's not particularly popular there with his constituents or his legislature. He's also out of office this summer. Colombia holds elections in May.
Anyway, the guy is a nut, and if you've ever watched him speak, it's quite obvious he likes to sample his country's biggest export (cocaine) and probably drinks quite a bit, but I can neither confirm nor deny that either.
After we captured Maduro on Saturday, he called an emergency media of the Community of Latin American and Caribbean States (CELAC) on Sunday and wanted all of the Latin American and Caribbean countries to sign some sort of communiqué that demanded the U.S. release Maduro. Javier Milei and his new gang of ten countries that don't do socialism and crime anymore shut it down. Petro also mobilized Colombian troops to the Venezuelan border and called for protests across his country this week.
Meanwhile, publicly, Petro was making all these "Come get me" speeches aimed at Trump after Trump warned him to "watch his a**," following the Maduro capture. Trump was not going to physically come at him, especially with only seven or eight months left in Petro's presidency, but it sounded like he was going to harass the heck out of him until he started cooperating with Trump's new plan for the hemisphere.
I guess el presidente finally figured that out and gave Trump a call. "It was a Great Honor to speak with the President of Colombia, Gustavo Petro, who called to explain the situation of drugs and other disagreements that we have had," Trump posted on Truth Social. "I appreciated his call and tone, and look forward to meeting him in the near future. Arrangements are being made between Secretary of State Marco Rubio and the Foreign Minister of Colombia. The meeting will take place in the White House in Washington, D.C."
I guess they're going to have to redo his visa.
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) January 7, 2026
Petro also confirmed the call by posting this picture on X with the caption: "Here talking with President Trump."
Aquí hablando con el presidente Trump pic.twitter.com/zVGjwJiRUx
— Gustavo Petro (@petrogustavo) January 8, 2026
He also confirmed it with several other posts about peace, oil, energy, Joe Biden, and a picture of an eagle hugging a jaguar and whatever else. The last thing he posted says: "This is Historic. We will talk with Trump about the Peace of the Continent, about sovereignty, about a Pact for Life based on clean energies. The US energy matrix can be decarbonized if the potential of South America's clean energies becomes a reality."
The call, which was initiated by Petro, reportedly lasted up to an hour, and it was cordial and positive. I don't think this is the start to a beautiful new friendship, but I guess watching the U.S. military capture one of the only other commie allies left on your continent and throwing him in a jail in New York has a certain element of persuasion about it.
I have no idea when Petro is coming or if it'll even materialize, but as soon as I find out, I'll block the day off on my calendar and hope with all I have that we get a glimpse into the meeting because it's gonna be good.
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