As I presciently anticipated on my obnoxiously pro-America, gleefully anti-commie pink radio program, The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show, a bunch of Democrat-voting, man-bunned hipsters and their hirsute, cloud-hugging, troll mates showed up to vote for Nikki Haley in Tuesday's New Hampshire primary, softening Haley's second consecutive loss to President Donald Trump.
This is a maneuver started by PJ Media's own Victoria Taft, who cleverly devised what she called "Democrat for a Day" many years ago: flip sides, cast votes, and return to your own party, watch the fun.
FACT-O-RAMA! Haley came in third place in Iowa but somehow celebrated as though she won. Someone should really tell her...
1. More Democrats voted for Haley than Republicans.
Much like the morning after a drunken hookup with that salad-phobic dude from the IT department, the sun rose to reveal Darling Nikki's reality. It turns out that a whopping 70% of Haley's votes were grudge votes from Democrats according to exit polls.
I'm surprised Haley didn't dump a bucket of Gatorade over herself Tuesday night as she celebrated another shattering loss. More importantly, either Haley doesn't know a bunch of patchouli ghoulies voted for her, or she doesn't care.
70% of @NikkiHaley’s votes in New Hampshire were not from registered Republicans… but from Democrat “undeclared” voters. Only voting for Haley as a strategy vote against President @realDonaldTrump. Facts don’t lie, Nikki. But you do. And you lost. pic.twitter.com/awbPP5Bdht
— Strawberry Fields 🇺🇸🗽 (@Strawberry_Flds) January 24, 2024
According to my calculator, 70% of her 136,461 votes is 95,522. Do the subtraction and Haley received a paltry 40,938 Republican votes compared to Trump's 172,202. In other words, Trump got well over four times as many Republican votes, and Haley got hammered like Thor for the second time.
FACT-O-RAMA! Nikki Haley's Twitter account has 1 million followers. Trump's Twitter account, which he can use but chooses not to and hasn't since 2021, has 87.4 million.
2. Haley beat Biden.
Haley may want to, like most of her voters, switch sides. She scored 95,522 Democrat votes. Gropey Joe Biden, who was admittedly a write-in vote, snagged a measly 67,712.
Absolute insanity. Nikkki Haley is a Democrat plant. Listen to this voter explicitly state he is voting for Nikki as a protest vote against Trump and will be voting Biden in the Generals. This is why the Democrats are funding her campaign. pic.twitter.com/kYTmUh1FiZ
— Kephfas (@Kephfas) January 24, 2024
3. Trump made history again.
New Hampshire cast roughly 320,000 votes on both sides, a record for that state. Trump secured a whopping 172,202 votes, or 53.81% of all votes cast on both sides of the aisle. He won more votes than any candidate in New Hampshire primary history. Trump also received more votes in Iowa last week than any candidate in that state's history. I'm smelling a pattern.
4. Democrats sent a glaring message.
Biden scored 57% of the Democrat vote but lost 43% to people no one has ever heard of. Dean who? Also, 17,561 people wrote in someone not named Joe Biden. I'd love to know if Democrats are still casting write-in votes for Harambe.
5. Trump clown-slapped Biden.
Trump's 172,202 is almost three times as many votes as Biden. Even if we credit Biden with 57% of Haley's 95,522 Democrat votes, Biden still goes down like the Hindenburg as the Trump juggernaut presses onward.
Bonus Takeaway: Does Haley know something we don't?
Despite two rock-solid thwackings, Haley refuses to give up the ghost.
I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL https://t.co/mXHvDjde1W pic.twitter.com/PNU2jxjJME
— PINEOWL ETH (@pineowleth) January 23, 2024
It's no secret that many conservatives consider Haley a deep-state plant. Why won't she cave and just endorse Trump? More importantly, why are her donors still chipping in mad stacks to keep her afloat?
Has Haley been told that something is coming that will change the course of the election? Are the swamp slimers planning to send Trump to prison — or do something far more sinister — that will catapult her to the Republican ticket in November?
The next stop on the campaign trail is South Carolina, Haley's home state, where she served two terms as governor.
South Carolina's Gov. Henry McMaster, Sen. Tim Scott, and three representatives, including Rep. Nancy Mace, have all endorsed Trump, yet Haley continues her embarrassing campaign.
Why would she risk political humiliation in her home state after everyone has gone full-on for Trump and polls show him up 62.2% to Haley's 25%?
Related: LIVE RESULTS: Will the New Hampshire Primary Bring Us Any Surprises?
As my grandfather used to say, I smell a stink badger in the perfume aisle. Donors do not tend to flush their money away with no hope of winning. Either Haley knows something we don't or she should compete with Biden for the "dementia-ridden politician-of-the-year" award.
If she doesn't bail before or immediately after her impending, home-field, Titanic-like loss on February 3, something might be up.
We watched the Democrats screw Bernie in two primaries and get away with it. We would be daft to think the deep state won't pull the same skullduggery with this year's Republican primary.
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