Hello and welcome to Saturday, May 23, 2026. Today is International Jazz Day and National Lucky Penny Day. Gotta wonder how much longer the latter observance will make any cents at all. (Get it?) It’s also National Turtle Day — obviously a day for coming out of your shell. And it’s Amateur Radio Military Appreciation Day — honoring the role of amateur radio operators in supporting the military. Only 216 days until Christmas.
1701: Captain William Kidd is hanged in London after being convicted of piracy and the murder of William Moore.
1785: Benjamin Franklin describes his invention of bifocals in a letter to his friend George Whatley.
1845: The New York City Police Department (NYPD) is formed, replacing an old night watch system.
1863: The organization of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church in Battle Creek, Michigan.
1867: Jesse James' gang robs a bank in Richmond, Missouri, killing two and taking $4,000.
1873: Canada's North West Mounted Police Force forms (receives the "Royal" designation in 1904).
1903: The first automobile trip across the U.S. leaves San Francisco for New York (where it arrives on July 26).
1934: The police kill outlaws Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in an ambush near Sailes, Louisiana.
1945: Lord Haw-Haw (William Joyce) is arrested at the Danish border with Germany.
1945: The Allies arrest the members of the Nazi Flensburg government, including Admiral Karl Dönitz, formally dissolving Nazi Germany.
1958: Mao Zedong starts the "Great Leap Forward" movement in China, ultimately killing between 23 and 55 million Chinese citizens due to famine and forced labor.
1969: BBC orders 13 episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
1985: President Ronald Reagan awards Jimmy Stewart the Presidential Medal of Freedom and promotes him to Major General on the Retired list.
1994: The Star Trek: The Next Generation finale airs this week in syndication.
Birthdays Today include Ambrose Burnside, soldier, industrialist and politician (Governor of Rhode Island, 1866-69), who popularized sideburns; Alfred P. Sloan, longtime president, chairman and CEO of General Motors; Douglas Fairbanks, actor (The Mark of Zorro, 3 Musketeers, Robin Hood); John Bardeen, physicist, electrical engineer and co-inventor of the transistor; "Scatman" Crothers, singer, musician ("I'd Rather Be a Hummingbird") and actor (Chico and the Man — "Louie", The Shining); Artie Shaw, bandleader and clarinetist ("Begin the Beguine"); "Bumps" Blackwell, American bandleader, songwriter, and record producer (Little Richard; Sam Cooke); Betty Garrett, stage and screen comedian, singer, dancer, and actress (All In The Family — "Irene"; Laverne & Shirley – "Edna"); Helen O'Connell, big-band singer (Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra — "Green Eyes"; "Anapola"), and TV host (Today Show, 1956-58); James Blish (pseudonym of William Atheling, Jr.), sci-fi author (Hugo, Star Trek Reader); Rosemary Clooney, singer ("Come On-a My House"), and actress (White Christmas); Barbara Barrie, actress and author (Breaking Away, Barney Miller); Joan Collins, actress (Dynasty); Robert Moog, engineer and inventor (Moog synthesizer); Marvin Hagler, boxer (undisputed World Middleweight champion, 1980-87) Rick Fenn, English rock guitarist (10cc — "I'm Not In Love"; "The Things We Do for Love"); and Drew Carey, comic actor (The Drew Carey Show; Whose Line Is It Anyway?) and game show host (The Price Is Right, 2007-present).
If today is your day, too, have a happy!
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Matt Margolis reacts to Greg Gutfeld's demolition of the Democrat 2024 election autopsy — a topic I carved up in yesterday's column. Greg nails it, and by extension, so does Matt. The Democrats all along have been telegraphing zero intention of trying anything new for the midterms, which means they'll lose. Bigly.
But that raises the next ugly question: who exactly do the Democrats run in 2028?
After the '26 catastrophe that I'm hardly alone in predicting, they'll crawl into the '28 cycle with no momentum, no credibility, and — as usual — no decent candidate. And, unless Beijing is unusually generous, not enough money to spend on campaigns. They won’t even have a candidate who’s good enough to garner enough support from their own party to make a decent run of it.
Think about it. When did the Democrats last field anything resembling a quality presidential candidate, even from the rather myopic view of a Liberal Democrat voter? Let’s look at the history of the thing. (By the way, the barf bags are in the storage on the seat back in front of you.)
Hillary Clinton? A genuinely terrible candidate — and that's before you factor in the steamer trunk of baggage she dragged behind her everywhere she went. Just horrible. By the way, I have no plans whatever to kill myself, in case the subject should come up.
Joe Biden? His campaign strategy consisted of hiding in a basement and hoping America was desperate enough to bite on the pablum he offered up. And yes, they were. He won — though we're learning more every day about just how dishonestly that win was assembled. Then he got into office, and exactly as I and most others predicted, he delivered an unmitigated disaster that answered every question anyone had left about him and the people hanging onto his coattails. (Autopen, anyone? I mean, who was actually making executive decisions? We still have no real answer for that, and it doesn't seem likely the Democrats will ever want to find out.)
Kamala Harris? Her own party wanted nothing to do with her. In her entire lifetime, she’s never won a primary vote. By the way, that seems the likely reason why the Democrats didn’t subject her to a primary vote in '24, but bypassed their own voters to install her, like someone replacing a dead headlight with another dead headlight. She tops the polls, now, sure — but two points there:
1: These are the same pollsters who called her a shoo-in in 2024.You might recall how that worked out, though I've begun to wonder if SHE does.
2: That she tops the polls now only suggests how weak the remainder of the field is.
Harris' entire rationale for running now is staying visible enough to shake down speaking-fee money from people who inexplicably still believe she matters in the slightest. Even she knows she's got no chance.
Then there's Gavin Newsom — a man who locked himself out of serious contention using nothing but his own mouth and his ability to slam leftist policy through a one-party legislature. He's the kind of politician who endangers anyone standing between him and a microphone. But California — that magnificent catastrophe he built — will crush any national ambitions flat. Voters will look at what he did to that state and treat his presidential run like a restraining order.
There's the towering political vision of Mark Kelly. A man who has masterfully built his entire brand around disliking one specific person. Sure, that razor-sharp platform of "Orange Man Bad" will absolutely carry him through a primary, a general election, and straight into the history books. Who needs ideas when you have feelings?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has graciously stepped into a role that blonde jokes previously held. But really, who needs punch lines when the subject writes them herself? We'll just leave it at that, shall we? No further elaboration required.
And Pete Buttigieg — ah yes, the man who turned disappearing into an art form. A truly stunning record of achievement: successfully located an exit door at the exact moment his job required him to show up. The fine people of East Palestine, Ohio — Democrats included, bless their hearts — must be simply overwhelmed with gratitude for his dedicated service. Surely they're already printing the Buttigieg 2028 yard signs as we speak. He'll get their votes any day now.
JB Pritzker? Why would anyone vote for him? Particularly Democrats. Oh sure. Absolutely inspired choice. Because nothing screams "man of the people" like a billionaire aristocrat. And Illinois as a model for the nation? Please, sign the rest of America up immediately for that glorious experiment in governance. (Chicago! Just... Chicago.) A party that treats "millionaire" like a slur suddenly rallying behind one? Oh, that'll be a completely seamless pivot, no cognitive dissonance whatsoever.
Josh Shapiro? Brilliant. A party that has spent the better part of a decade cozying up to some rather... let's say colorful ideological company on the Jewish question, suddenly deciding a Jewish candidate is its standard-bearer? Totally coherent. Makes complete and perfect sense. Nothing to untangle there at all.
And the thing is, not a one of them cracks 10% in the polls, currently.
There’s this, too; Has anyone seen any efforts on the part of the Democrats to get their primary act together? After Hillary's manipulation of that process, there was a fair amount of noise from some quarters that the DNC had to make the Democrat party’s primary system actually democratic. A great concept, but if there’s ever been any action at all toward that goal in all the time since then, I’ve not heard of it. If I haven’t, then it’s a pretty good bet most Democrat voters haven’t, either.
The lack of effort to learn from the mistakes of 2024, given what they’ve showed us with that joke of an election autopsy report, shows us clearly that the Democrats aren't rebuilding. Add it all up, and they're just reshuffling the same losing hand and waiting for someone to sell to the Democrat voters that it looks different and better this time.
As Glenn Reynolds often says, don’t get cocky. I suppose it’s possible they’ll be able to manufacture something to offer the voters in ‘28, but still, given what we’re seeing of them now, I wouldn’t bet on it.
Put any of the race leaders on the Democrat side now, up against any of the Republicans under consideration, and the results are totally predictable. The result being, in 2028 and beyond, MAGA will continue.
Thought for the day: Interesting how the solution the Democrats have offered several times for “saving democracy” was to try banning their opposition from the ballot.
VIP members, hit the heart, and let's hear your thoughts in the comments.
Take care, my friends, I'll see you tomorrow.
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