The Morning Briefing: Biden Presser Takeaway—China Is Drooling for an Attack

Top O’ the Briefing

Hoo-Boy, Biden’s “There” Really Isn’t There Anymore

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Sunflower seeds are a bit labor intensive for me.

There’s a lot of gloom and doom out there these days, for obvious reasons. I don’t do gloom and doom anymore, so I spend a lot of time attempting to talk my conservative friends off of ledges. Yes, I am well aware that our puppet placeholder president and his commie controllers are waging a feverish offensive against the United States Constitution. I’m not in denial. For the most part, I don’t think they’ll get away with it. Yeah, it’s gonna be ugly for a while, but I think they’ll ultimately fail.

I don’t often waver from that belief but I am willing to explore alternative possibilities from time to time. That’s what I will be doing here today.

I’m going to be referencing Biden’s unmitigated you-know-what show sham press conference but I need to be honest up front here. I didn’t watch it. My colleagues suffered through the thing and chronicled it in a live blog. They are all so good at their jobs that I didn’t see what my misery would add to it, so I went for a bike ride. I need to ride all the miles because I’m tired of my COVID balloon days. I look like I’m in my third trimester right now and beach season is coming up.

I’d like to thank them for their service.

We all knew how it was going to go anyway. In fact, I was able to review the reaction to it sight unseen:

I didn't watch the press conference but I'm sure that I can accurately summarize the reaction:
Right: "Yeesh, what a train wreck."
Left: "ZOMG, ARISTOTLE REBORN."

— SFK (@stephenkruiser) March 25, 2021

I have since watched a lot of the video and it was worse than I’d imagined. The decline in Biden’s faculties gets worse every day. It’s easy to see why his handlers didn’t want him off-leash.

My friends who are feeling that the American apocalypse is nigh can take comfort in the fact that Biden is so awful that this will all be over quickly.

See? Alternative theory.

This drooling moron shouldn’t be in charge of a child’s ten-piece jigsaw puzzle, let alone a country. They must be hoarse from cackling in Beijing and Tehran after watching the “leader of the free world” fumble around and say things like “…this makes Jim Crow look like Jim Eagle.” In addition to being an embarrassingly stupid line, it was also a lie. The Democrats are trying to permanently blow up election integrity and bring about one-party rule in this country. Our enemies would love that because weak Democrats in the White House are their best friends.

When he wasn’t torturing English, he was forgetting it altogether.

If one of your loved ones was that addled you wouldn’t want him or her to be out in public because you’d want to spare them the embarrassment.

Perhaps the most pathetic part of the charade was the fact that they had to give the Idiot King a picture book to get him through it.

We’ve gotten to the point where I almost feel sorry for the Democrats who have to keep pretending that Joe Biden is functional. Almost.

If 81 million people actually did vote for this guy, then the real pandemic in this country is the outbreak of stupid that occurred last November.

We don’t have a vaccine for that yet.

Everything Isn’t Awful

Barstool Fund time. You can donate here.

The Buccaneer Lounge gets the call. #BarstoolFund pic.twitter.com/ZMjBSrtvQ4

— The Barstool Fund (@BarstoolFund) March 22, 2021

Bee Me

Initiative: Kamala Harris Stays Up Late Working Ahead On Biden’s 25th Amendment Proceedings https://t.co/Jy8qkn3JXM

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 25, 2021

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Titian @artisttitian #italianart #titian pic.twitter.com/LKdINs99CO

— Fra Angelico (@artistangelico) March 25, 2021

Kabana Tunes

Most people who say they’re misunderstood are really just unlikable.
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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.